tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post2238476878255656513..comments2024-03-27T13:32:06.780-02:30Comments on The Other Side of Eighty: Missing: An extra layer of skin.Wisewebwomanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comBlogger38125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-55375340076937444392008-08-09T08:50:00.000-02:302008-08-09T08:50:00.000-02:30YIPPEE, indeed.:^)YIPPEE, indeed.<BR/><BR/><B>:^)</B>Richardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11048198233889575116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-74298380566240128982008-08-08T18:47:00.000-02:302008-08-08T18:47:00.000-02:30What a birthday gift and how generous of her Mum t...What a birthday gift and how generous of her Mum to let her share it with you!!<BR/>My granddaughter is 13 as well - tho she'll be 14 in October.<BR/>Have a wonderful time with Sophie as I will when my precious arrives here next Wednesday for 20 days. Yippee!!<BR/>XO<BR/>WWWWisewebwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-57851270725253608862008-08-08T17:31:00.000-02:302008-08-08T17:31:00.000-02:30Yep, you're he IS Sophie's dad. Of course, she no...Yep, you're he IS Sophie's dad. Of course, she now lives in Germany with her mother and new step-dad.<BR/><BR/>But guess what? She comes over here one week today for 10/11 days. She and her mother plan the dates because, can you believe, Sophie and I share the same birthday on 20th.<BR/><BR/>At least life's been good to me for most of my time. Can you possibly imagine ANY greater birthday gift than the one I received, 13 years ago? <B> :^) </B>Richardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11048198233889575116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-2009485065035568572008-08-08T15:14:00.000-02:302008-08-08T15:14:00.000-02:30Of:Thank you, I'm heading over there to play it no...Of:<BR/>Thank you, I'm heading over there to play it now.<BR/>XO<BR/>WWW<BR/>Richard:<BR/>Oh I am so sorry to hear this, how painful for you. He must be the father of your beloved Sophie, I would think?<BR/>I have a daughter living who knows where in Europe who has turned her back on everyone, all her family, friends in Canada, etc. I think about her every day so I can totally relate to your pain.<BR/>I also have one dear daughter and granddaughter who are all I could wish for. I try and focus on the positives in my life but now and again I crumble, like recently but I am in the Republic of Feckem at the moment so all is well.<BR/>I like our matching T-shirts!<BR/>XO<BR/>WWWWisewebwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-65393635679575786662008-08-08T09:17:00.000-02:302008-08-08T09:17:00.000-02:30Oh, I forgot to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY ... and St**f ...Oh, I forgot to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY ... and St**f 'em all. <B>;^)</B>Richardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11048198233889575116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-83715357597655435012008-08-08T09:15:00.000-02:302008-08-08T09:15:00.000-02:30WWW, I'll bet that right now we're wearing exactly...WWW, I'll bet that right now we're wearing exactly the same t-shirts.<BR/><BR/>Our son lives just a couple of miles away, or less. For I don't know how many years now the only time he phones or arrives in person is when HE has a problem. When things are going weel for him, which is most of the time, he doesn't know whether his mother and I are dead or alive.<BR/><BR/>I'm always saying to my missus that if ever anything does happen to her, I am not going to let him know. I'll just wait until he next phones or arrives, then when he asks about her I'll simply say: "Oh! Your mother? I buried her a while back.<BR/><BR/>Thankfully, our (disabled, wheelchairbound but ultra independent) daughter phones at least a couple of times a week. Most weeks she also meets her mother in town and they go a meal and do some shopping together.<BR/><BR/>Even though she lives a lot further away than her brother, she comes to ours for the Sunday roast.Richardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11048198233889575116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-5481399741592365692008-08-07T11:06:00.000-02:302008-08-07T11:06:00.000-02:30Yes Ive now posted Kilkelly on my music blog.OFYes Ive now posted Kilkelly on my music blog.<BR/>OFOld Fogeyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11247102564173946623noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-79472773433313137312008-08-06T13:37:00.000-02:302008-08-06T13:37:00.000-02:30RJA:A part of me recognizes all that and even more...RJA:<BR/>A part of me recognizes all that and even more so since I've processed the rejection. I am closer to my friends than my family and am so completely blessed with my beautiful daughter and granddaughter.<BR/>And dammit we're going to have a great great time!!!<BR/>Yes maybe have a separate "Agony Aunt" or hey - "Unctious Uncle" column??<BR/>Unctious Uncle, I really love the sound of that!!<BR/>XO<BR/>WWWWisewebwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-37237193627738141602008-08-06T13:34:00.000-02:302008-08-06T13:34:00.000-02:30DJM:I'll head over there very soon!!XOWWWDJM:<BR/>I'll head over there very soon!!<BR/>XO<BR/>WWWWisewebwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-69126031015132743642008-08-06T13:33:00.000-02:302008-08-06T13:33:00.000-02:30Sharon:You weren't to know that until I said.Money...Sharon:<BR/>You weren't to know that until I said.<BR/>Money has never been an issue for them in adulthood. <BR/>I wish I could say the same for me!!!<BR/>XO<BR/>WWWWisewebwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-31047086308709031362008-08-06T13:32:00.000-02:302008-08-06T13:32:00.000-02:30Laurie:yes that old picture I used to call it "Wal...Laurie:<BR/>yes that old picture I used to call it "Walton's Mountain" - remember that TV show. I had this romantic notion of great gatherings of rellies, all friendly, all caring, etc.<BR/>The writer/artist in me.<BR/>Reality is so different and I should know that from my writing, which is quite dark at times.<BR/>I'm sorry to hear about your bro. Maybe he will open up as to carry that kind of baggage is not good for his soul.<BR/>XO<BR/>WWWWisewebwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-64195830201427809182008-08-06T13:29:00.000-02:302008-08-06T13:29:00.000-02:30Yes, you are so right Jenny, family ties wax and w...Yes, you are so right Jenny, family ties wax and wane over the years. My godmother who lived in London (England)and I had some really close telephone conversations before she died. I clearly saw then that attachment to some family members can distance us from those others who are more available.<BR/>How lovely for you that you found such treasure in your Canadian family!<BR/>XO<BR/>WWWWisewebwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-54038391565953093372008-08-06T12:24:00.000-02:302008-08-06T12:24:00.000-02:30It's an old but honest adage that you can choose y...It's an old but honest adage that you can choose your friends but you're stuck with your family (well, words to that effect!)<BR/>I'm not sure that family ties are necessarily stronger than those of friendship. I'm happy my family are 4500 miles away. My father is 93 and my mother 86, and while I'll miss them when they're gone, seeing them only once a year while they're still alive is fine by me.<BR/>Enjoy your daughter and grand-daughter's company, and don't give a thought to the rest of them. They're obviously busy living their own lives.<BR/>(Maybe I'll open an "Auntie RJ's Agony Column" on Sparrow Chat) ;-)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-89039967849398921832008-08-06T11:07:00.000-02:302008-08-06T11:07:00.000-02:30Please check out my new blog post, your opinions a...Please check out my new blog post, your opinions are always so interesting and I'd love to what you think on this one.<BR/><BR/>Especially, since your perspective would be very different from anyone else's. You would be able to appreciate both sides of the argument I think.DJ Mikeyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03488942380296716725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-9154709188396708582008-08-06T10:06:00.000-02:302008-08-06T10:06:00.000-02:30www -- RE YOUR REPLY:"they are all, without except...www -- RE YOUR REPLY:<BR/><BR/>"they are all, without exception, wealthy and at one point they were talking of chartering their own small jet to get here"<BR/><BR/>Oh, I see (ooops!). <BR/><BR/>I think I was assuming that your family were probably only of average means, of course I was not aware of the actual circumstances.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-43224974371075590292008-08-06T09:23:00.000-02:302008-08-06T09:23:00.000-02:30we cannot choose our families. you don't need tha...we cannot choose our families. you don't need that extra layer of skin; it would harm your writer soul. but distance... yes, i think distance is a wise idea. <BR/><BR/>i have a brother i am deeply estranged from. i do not know why; he won't talk about whatever hurt or slight he feels. (he will not talk about feelings at all.) it's a terrible pain to me, because i keep thinking of him as a young boy and what a sweet brother he was in many ways.<BR/><BR/>but he is not that person anymore. your family, too, they are not who they were. <BR/><BR/>it's hard to let go of that old picture, though, isn't it?lauriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18055442432266567561noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-65833003498759042882008-08-06T05:29:00.000-02:302008-08-06T05:29:00.000-02:30Sorry to hear about this. You must be feeling angr...Sorry to hear about this. You must be feeling angry as well as sad, I expect, and that can be hard to express to relatives. You ask about family ties - I think they come and go over time, sometimes we are close and at other times not, with various relatives being more or less important to us over the years. I didn't have much contact with my Canadian relatives for years, but now they come to NI every year and I visit Toronto in December. <BR/><BR/>So just hold your head up and create some distance... and happy significant birthday!Jennyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05779579054897917982noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-59813278918859582082008-08-05T22:54:00.000-02:302008-08-05T22:54:00.000-02:30DJM:Well the parents are dead, I know my parents&#...DJM:<BR/>Well the parents are dead, I know my parents' dream was that we all stay close, but we were not close to begin with if the truth were known, we all wished we were at one point but little alliances are formed within a family of 6. The two brothers I am closest to are both parents to newborns (they have grandchildren much older than their babies) so their attention is elsewhere.<BR/>I guess I am just grieving what never was and never will be. I know you get that.<BR/>I am blessed with my daughter and granddaughter and more friends than I can count on one hand and adding to them out here.<BR/>And thank you for your wonderfully kind comments on my blog, I am most incredibly flattered & honoured at your words!<BR/>XO<BR/>WWWWisewebwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-33597905460515816412008-08-05T22:49:00.000-02:302008-08-05T22:49:00.000-02:30Thank you, Hull, I am now so glad I made the post ...Thank you, Hull, I am now so glad I made the post to find such understanding out there and such support is a real balm to the soul.<BR/>I've mentally moved now apart from the little stone ceremony I will have tomorrow.<BR/>XO<BR/>WWWWisewebwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-67874653093152309122008-08-05T22:48:00.000-02:302008-08-05T22:48:00.000-02:30OF:How true, we invest so much in our past being e...OF:<BR/>How true, we invest so much in our past being exiles (and I prefer this word to emigrant). We are the vanished ones to those left behind who go about their lives without us. We try and fit in around the edges of their lives when we go back, whereas we have no place for them either in our new lives, no continuity.<BR/>No, I am not familiar with the song, have you posted it on your music blog?<BR/>Some exile songs make me cry, othes such as what I call the "Paddywackery" type leave me chilled....:^)<BR/>XO<BR/>WWWWisewebwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-89741733864541083162008-08-05T22:43:00.000-02:302008-08-05T22:43:00.000-02:30Orla:It was the dream I was attached to of course,...Orla:<BR/>It was the dream I was attached to of course, not the reality which always falls short.<BR/>And I do remember a phrase of yours which has helped me:<BR/>"No surprises" and that is so true. The surprise would have been if they all came.<BR/>And France, the western version, is going to be great!<BR/>XO<BR/>WWWWisewebwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-90393451877460012212008-08-05T22:41:00.000-02:302008-08-05T22:41:00.000-02:30Nick:Oh I so agree with you, we are given so much ...Nick:<BR/>Oh I so agree with you, we are given so much more by our chosen families, as I like to call them, our dear friends.<BR/>And it will all be for the best anyway, I know that.<BR/>I guess I was giving my family a chance to get together under happy circumstances, my pipe dream!<BR/>XO<BR/>WWWWisewebwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-19111573882478493702008-08-05T18:28:00.000-02:302008-08-05T18:28:00.000-02:30By the way I love they way your personality leaps ...By the way I love they way your personality leaps off the screen, when I visit your blog, I hope my blog becomes as interesting as yours. You don't seem like a lady in her 60's, not that age has any bearing on these things, you seem like a very cool girl in her 20's<BR/><BR/>If you were younger and I was straight, I'd totally - I'm not gonna finish that thought incase it's too vulgar.DJ Mikeyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03488942380296716725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-44248396819778133032008-08-05T18:03:00.000-02:302008-08-05T18:03:00.000-02:30Maybe I'm too young to have any real perspective o...Maybe I'm too young to have any real perspective on this but let me try.<BR/><BR/>I love my parents dearly, but sometimes they drive me insane, dad more so than mum. However just as I'm about to reach my breaking point, they redeem themselves.<BR/><BR/>But relationship with family members can be very frought. I am the youngest of 3 brothers, my eldest brother and me get along brilliantly, but then we have in common the fact we are both gay.<BR/><BR/>My middle brother is 10 years older than me and the 2 of us put our parents through hell. Our childhood was basically a war, there were no rules, no deed was too under-handed. Even now civility towards each other requires a huge deal of effort.<BR/><BR/>There is still unresolved tension between us, as his now wife noticed, the 1st time the 3 of us, plus mum and dad, were in the same room as each other. Sweet, lovely girl that she is, felt the need to ask, "What is wrong with those 2, you can actually feel the tension in the air."<BR/><BR/>However I know my middle brother would be the 1st person to come to my rescue, he already has. A few weeks after I came out I encountered some homophobic bullies and he was there to back me up. Without my having to request his help.<BR/><BR/>In some ways, blood is thicker than water. You don't chose your family, they might be like the Waltons or the Simpsons. In a strange way they will always be part of your life, your pretty much stuck with them, an unfortunate, but sometimes pleasant consequence of birth.<BR/><BR/>Friends and Lovers, are the people you chose to be with. Which makes them infinitly more miraculous, with 6,000,000,000 people in the world, finding a small group with whom you have any common ground, is a miracle.<BR/><BR/>Cherish your friends, your husband/wife and your children. Those you chose to have in your life, but don't turn your back on your parents and siblings. Because they may suprise you and if they don't - well I can't finish that sentence, maybe when I'm older I'll be able to.<BR/><BR/>But for now don't lose heart! I'll be sure to wish you a happy birthday when the time comes, hope you enjoy yourself. Whatever you do.DJ Mikeyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03488942380296716725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-16376898492184888622008-08-05T17:10:00.000-02:302008-08-05T17:10:00.000-02:30Oh sweetheart, how very ouchy for you. A very wis...Oh sweetheart, how very ouchy for you. A very wise counsellor of mine, said that people could never be too sensitive because the other side of sensitivity is being in touch with the totality of feelings.<BR/><BR/>Sending you big hugs and kisses. How sad and, as Nick says, their loss.<BR/><BR/>I love the picture, it's almost as beautiful as I picture you to be.<BR/><BR/>xxxxxxxxxxx<BR/><BR/>HullaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com