tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post2740325217756498853..comments2024-03-27T13:32:06.780-02:30Comments on The Other Side of Eighty: Thin on the groundWisewebwomanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comBlogger35125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-70141219519414143582018-05-17T23:55:07.333-02:302018-05-17T23:55:07.333-02:30Exactly Linda. I am questioning everything and not...Exactly Linda. I am questioning everything and not liking it at all. As if all those years he held back on his true self.<br /><br />Thank you for understanding about the shut-down. Mentally I still can't go there as it is too distressing. I'll await a contact from him, if any.<br /><br />XO<br />WWWWisewebwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-33150287362709753392018-05-17T14:15:54.669-02:302018-05-17T14:15:54.669-02:30I'm late reading this. From my own recent expe...I'm late reading this. From my own recent experience, I know that grieving this kind of lost relationship is as painful as grieving someone's death. It questions everything about your past relationship, your perceived place in other people's minds, and your own discernment. I'm sorry you felt so bushwhacked. Of course you shut down. Linda P.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-24854550087851614172018-05-16T22:17:55.171-02:302018-05-16T22:17:55.171-02:30Yes personality change could be possible. Or simpl...Yes personality change could be possible. Or simply railing against his condition of confinement.<br /><br />XO<br />WWWWisewebwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-28060582054010467102018-05-16T22:16:52.122-02:302018-05-16T22:16:52.122-02:30I have given some consideration to the comments th...I have given some consideration to the comments that he might have a condition that renders him a personality change due to hardening of the arteries or beginnings of dementia. I'll see what happens now, if he calls or texts. Thank you!<br /><br />XO<br />WWWWisewebwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-91011398114015320262018-05-16T17:17:21.197-02:302018-05-16T17:17:21.197-02:30I'll offer my opinion BB in that many traditio...I'll offer my opinion BB in that many traditional women wouldn't have a clue what that would be like and wouldn't know what to say. I owned my own company for years,founded it and ran it. Men accepted it and commented knowledgably, women were baffled and viewed me as an aberration of some kind. Today is a different story.<br /><br />XO<br />WWW Wisewebwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-19352038523332812932018-05-16T12:21:47.855-02:302018-05-16T12:21:47.855-02:30Twilight may well be right. The same thing happene...Twilight may well be right. The same thing happened to a neighbour of mine when he had a stoke. A lovely old man who my wee daughter loved. Visited him in the hospital after his stroke and he had become a dirty old man - swearing, grabbing at the nurses etc etc. His poor wife was so mortified. Betty Bishophttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10552340264000998419noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-44939577645335344202018-05-16T12:17:22.384-02:302018-05-16T12:17:22.384-02:30My comment was made because when I bought a compan...My comment was made because when I bought a company [with no money down!] I had not one woman friend who said "good for you" or give me suggestions re increasing business etc etc. <br />I find the same thing now - if I mention that I owned my own company [and bought it when I had no money] men are full of congratulations and questions, women are silent. <br />Maybe it is something in my tone? Could be. Betty Bishophttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10552340264000998419noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-49788617145623723132018-05-15T15:45:12.156-02:302018-05-15T15:45:12.156-02:30That must have felt devastating, WWW! Do you know...That must have felt devastating, WWW! Do you know whether he suffers from any illness or has ever had a stroke. I thought of my dear Dad as I read your post. He had several strokes, after the 2nd and worse one he developed a form of dementia (from hardening of arteries in brain). He changed from the sweetest, kindest most honest man who had always adored my mother over almost 50 years - into a nasty-mouthed mean person. My mother was so upset at the things he said to her. He didn't say anything bad to me, except he told the truth about what he really thought about my significant other - not good! This sounds kind of in the same wheelhouse.Twilighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14138621610593773784noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-11329550604054308542018-05-14T20:45:45.118-02:302018-05-14T20:45:45.118-02:30H'm interesting comment on women. I wouldn'...H'm interesting comment on women. I wouldn't agree. I have found my most stalwart friends among women. Men tend to fade off once they find an S.O. And my sampling percentage is quite large.<br /><br />He was one of my longest male friends.<br /><br />XO<br />WWWWisewebwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-9881036450012498492018-05-14T10:53:21.430-02:302018-05-14T10:53:21.430-02:30My father always said "if a man has 3 good fr...My father always said "if a man has 3 good friends by the time he dies he can count himself a lucky man!" I would make that Person and agree with it. I find women to be especially hard on each other. Such is life - a bit of a bitch isn't it!Betty Bishophttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10552340264000998419noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-54677317871959481382018-05-14T10:43:13.775-02:302018-05-14T10:43:13.775-02:30I feel in another part of me that I was being patr...I feel in another part of me that I was being patronized. Not a nice feeling. I had never perceived this intolerance before. Even when he had issues with his DIL and asked my advice as to how to deal with her and I suggested he open his heart to her perceived imperfections. Which he took.<br /><br />I doubt if there's dementia, then again I'm not F2F with him which would probably help.<br /><br />I'm trying to to give it too much headroom. I just know that something has shifted. As to its permanence, who knows.<br /><br />XO<br />WWWWisewebwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-20335628533016911482018-05-14T06:08:08.715-02:302018-05-14T06:08:08.715-02:30Extraordinary that he's suddenly come out with...Extraordinary that he's suddenly come out with all this stuff after apparently being quite different for many years. What's got into him, I wonder? Why does he suddenly think you'd enjoy a "smaller world" rather than all your special passions? And why the sudden warped view of gays? Was he secretly like this all along or has something influenced him? But such a shift in view from someone you've known for so long must be very upsetting.nickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10472673041193755894noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-72962222312843120802018-05-13T14:43:06.207-02:302018-05-13T14:43:06.207-02:30Point missed much?
XO
WWWPoint missed much?<br /><br />XO<br />WWWWisewebwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-18182689067599725672018-05-13T11:47:04.313-02:302018-05-13T11:47:04.313-02:30Hmmm, we are good friends as long as you support m...Hmmm, we are good friends as long as you support me, agree with me, and never voice your true self and your own feelings...hmmm just what is friendship anyway? Will ponder this as you kick him to the curbAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-88776063107364963152018-05-12T16:49:09.308-02:302018-05-12T16:49:09.308-02:30As we age the options get fewer with regard to sup...As we age the options get fewer with regard to supportive friends. I'm of the opinion I can't trust him now. <br /><br />XO<br />WWWWisewebwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-819017582541035322018-05-12T16:00:31.905-02:302018-05-12T16:00:31.905-02:30Well yes, that would be a deal breaker for me too....Well yes, that would be a deal breaker for me too. Life's too short to be putting up with that kind of "advice". Anniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03787701515460812026noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-89962511664288751362018-05-12T10:04:46.152-02:302018-05-12T10:04:46.152-02:30I can relate and your conclusion in my opinion is ...I can relate and your conclusion in my opinion is the right one.Rummuserhttp://rummuser.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-54411425999002036292018-05-11T22:28:18.217-02:302018-05-11T22:28:18.217-02:30What hurt me most of all Annie was his attack on m...What hurt me most of all Annie was his attack on my personality. That is a deal breaker, even if he was super cranky. He doesn't suffer depression but is upset because of his surgery not allowing him to go on his 4 cruises a year as he can't get health insurance. He likes carefully controlled environments and predictability. To each his own, I wouldn't dream of being critical of him. It's part of who he is.<br /><br />XO<br />WWWWisewebwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-43227286667487739302018-05-11T22:24:31.324-02:302018-05-11T22:24:31.324-02:30Maybe I'll be one isolated old lady, huddled u...Maybe I'll be one isolated old lady, huddled under a shawl in her wheelchair, wheezing pitifully at the care home attendants, friendless and alone. Hoisted on several petards. I'm glad none of us know our ends.<br /><br />There is dementia in my family but brought on by the death of children.<br /><br />I don't worry about it. One friend has the beginnings but is going to extraordinary lengths to halt it. I must right about that soon.<br /><br />XO<br />WWWWisewebwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-40320032291675413812018-05-11T22:20:36.456-02:302018-05-11T22:20:36.456-02:30I don't really think so, I just senses this di...I don't really think so, I just senses this disapproval at the outset of our conversation involving youth and the challenges of the millenials. He is not as tolerant of "differences" in others as I am. A bit cookie-cutter but I've never judged him on it as he had a weirdish childhood, brought up as an only with elderly parents. But this was beyond the pale.<br /><br />XO<br />WWWWisewebwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-11459311399557532512018-05-11T22:17:46.006-02:302018-05-11T22:17:46.006-02:30In over 30 years this has been the first time I...In over 30 years this has been the first time I've felt ridicule and contempt from him. Not a good feeling at all. Kind of unforgivable.<br /><br />XO<br />WWW<br /><br />Wisewebwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-18818659109524568762018-05-11T22:16:36.386-02:302018-05-11T22:16:36.386-02:30Yeah Jean, the more I think about it the more I...Yeah Jean, the more I think about it the more I'm letting it go and surprisingly with very little grief or overthinking it. Overthinking has been one of the banes of my life. <br /><br />As we age, I do believe we drop some of our poorer performing traits <br /><br />XO<br />WWW Wisewebwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-50428178798894804042018-05-11T22:14:03.405-02:302018-05-11T22:14:03.405-02:30I think he views himself as fairly perfect Kate. H...I think he views himself as fairly perfect Kate. He went on a mad hunt for a wife when he became a widower (I do believe he had considered me, but I am not wife material + I'm not even remotely attracted to him physically) and he "settled" for a woman in his church after falling for a few others who rejected him. He's been a great advisor to me as he's a solid type: great money manager and practical.<br /><br />We've had many laughs and shared many losses. When this kind of shyte happens I question the very foundations of such friendships. No one is perfect, least of all me, but I felt there was true regard and respect there.<br /><br />XO<br />WWW Wisewebwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-68135793375506638802018-05-11T22:09:20.756-02:302018-05-11T22:09:20.756-02:30Thank you Mary, how kind! I am devastated but not ...Thank you Mary, how kind! I am devastated but not as much as I expected. I had valued our long friendship. But I felt very judged and misunderstood and unappreciated. And I frankly don't know if there's anywhere to go with it now.<br /><br />XO<br />WWW<br />Wisewebwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-52745549640355942342018-05-11T22:07:06.967-02:302018-05-11T22:07:06.967-02:30Not sure about that Molly. He's never been thi...Not sure about that Molly. He's never been this openly critical of me before, it was almost like he's been hiding it and then this barely contained explosion.<br /><br />XO<br />WWWWisewebwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.com