tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post2793139732170230713..comments2024-03-18T11:32:50.070-02:30Comments on The Other Side of Eighty: SadnessWisewebwomanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comBlogger45125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-88433361516004320512017-09-15T22:02:22.416-02:302017-09-15T22:02:22.416-02:30It's happened a few times, and it lets me know...It's happened a few times, and it lets me know I probably won't do well with it.<br /><br /><br /><a href="https://arouseinthenews.tumblr.com" rel="nofollow">เย็ดสาว</a>UplayOnlinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07056159688537638797noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-33410138317618244602017-08-29T18:09:11.093-02:302017-08-29T18:09:11.093-02:30Hattie, no it's the losses of all my dear ones...Hattie, no it's the losses of all my dear ones. I feel this disconnect from new friends though I do plunge in to friendships but that historical loss haunts me. I many not be expressing this well.<br /><br />I didn't feel these emotions when younger even though my heart was broken many times and my ambitions were squelched because female.<br /><br />This is very new.<br /><br />XO<br />WWWWisewebwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-34094150041993410192017-08-08T00:50:39.600-02:302017-08-08T00:50:39.600-02:30I appreciate what you say. I do still have a 93 y...I appreciate what you say. I do still have a 93 year old cousin who has known me all my life and our shared family which I don't discount, but the peer friendship was based on different connections. joaredhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09999395062839739698noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-37391743316991150072017-08-08T00:14:21.014-02:302017-08-08T00:14:21.014-02:30I should add that it was the way people trampled a...I should add that it was the way people trampled all over my feelings that made me feel sad. No one does that to me any more. Hattiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13297404386730167834noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-5866609071833898812017-08-08T00:05:31.392-02:302017-08-08T00:05:31.392-02:30I don't think the sadness is normal. I've ...I don't think the sadness is normal. I've been through a lot but don't feel underlying sadness. When I did feel sad in the way you describe was when I was younger and being slighted and passed over a lot. This suggests to me that other people are causing you to feel this way, not just the fact of being old. Hattiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13297404386730167834noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-50463267582980242042017-08-06T15:18:14.591-02:302017-08-06T15:18:14.591-02:30Speeding up of the heartbeat, powerlessness, grief...Speeding up of the heartbeat, powerlessness, grief, I know, it's such a cornucopia of feelings. I'm helping someone else right now who has difficulty labelling, like I had years ago. Walking her through her day was what was so helpful to me.<br /><br />XO<br />WWWWisewebwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-56665450579335129912017-08-06T15:16:29.969-02:302017-08-06T15:16:29.969-02:30Unfortunately Elle, no pets allowed in my new resi...Unfortunately Elle, no pets allowed in my new residence. I wish :(<br /><br />XO<br />WWWWisewebwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-76609585608264991862017-08-06T14:02:06.817-02:302017-08-06T14:02:06.817-02:30I lean toward anxiety rather than depression. But ...I lean toward anxiety rather than depression. But one of the things that worries me most os the idea of losing the ones I love. It's happened a few times, and it lets me know I probably won't do well with it.Secret Agent Womanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07564690116156754219noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-90887654343601019852017-08-04T18:14:54.031-02:302017-08-04T18:14:54.031-02:30Just checking in; hope you are feeling better!
W...Just checking in; hope you are feeling better! <br /><br />When you move, will you be able to have a new pet? Someone to share the (new) good times, just like Ansa did in your old place...Elle Clancyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11563633298659967269noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-30836667509752688662017-07-29T13:31:36.464-02:302017-07-29T13:31:36.464-02:30Yes BB I give off an independent air and for the m...Yes BB I give off an independent air and for the most part I mean it; it's just in times of crisis or unusual need I find it difficult and challenging to forge on alone with no sidekick. Like today. But more on that later.<br /><br />Yes our wee furry girlies are so instinctive. I remember testing Ansa in the car by throwing a quick glance her way and she always, always beat me to that special eye connection. I'd laugh so hard and I believe she did too. She'd sense I was going to look at her.<br /><br />Never silly. Thanks for understanding.<br /><br />XO<br />WWWWisewebwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-87230841497609495372017-07-29T11:07:06.484-02:302017-07-29T11:07:06.484-02:30My guess is you are seemingly too strong and seemi...My guess is you are seemingly too strong and seemingly too capable to receive much reassurance from other humans. They may not realize you need it or want it. Be glad you don't appear needy if you can. It wouldn't suit you! <br />For godsakes Wise - our dogs aren't mere animals - I believe their understanding and intuition is on a much higher level than humans - we couldn't fool them! mine have been more human than humans and they were with us for so long - its hard not to have a being who understands and doesn't hesitate to give our face a quick "its ok mom" lick! Silly? yes, I know. Betty Bishophttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10552340264000998419noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-2785028107016143922017-07-28T19:33:25.111-02:302017-07-28T19:33:25.111-02:30Thank you for those kind thoughts Nick. There seem...Thank you for those kind thoughts Nick. There seems to be sadness all around us these days. I find, for myself, that I don't receive enough reassurance. I'm older, no partner, and at times I just need the old squwzze on the shoulder or "a good job" kind of thing.<br /><br />Maybe I should have taken up on some of those proposals, lol. On second thoughts - no. 😁<br /><br />XO<br />WWWWisewebwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-31298055214302204692017-07-28T16:12:34.577-02:302017-07-28T16:12:34.577-02:30I often feel sad but not so much because of the lo...I often feel sad but not so much because of the loss of friends or relatives, as I've had very few to begin with. I feel sad because of the state of the world and all the people out there who're suffering and struggling in some way. And the sadness increases as I age because I know the people who should be helping them probably won't bother.<br /><br />And it's very sad that you still miss Ansa so much.nickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10472673041193755894noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-57077289680457771572017-07-27T17:08:00.103-02:302017-07-27T17:08:00.103-02:30Yes BB loss of my furry girl is huge and it opens ...Yes BB loss of my furry girl is huge and it opens up the other losses. We hear each other as dog worshippers. It's not quite a year yet (September 9th) and the rawness of the loss comes and goes. I'm glad to hear it gets a little easier. I've felt ready for the peculiar white jacket a few times, condemning myself for not getting over an animal for godsakes.<br /><br />Thanks, my friend.<br /><br />XO<br />WWWWisewebwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-33836526651218810582017-07-27T13:21:49.297-02:302017-07-27T13:21:49.297-02:30Yes - I find old age is BitterSweet - is it becaus...Yes - I find old age is BitterSweet - is it because we have time to feel everything now ? Betty Bishophttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10552340264000998419noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-24300600557973259712017-07-27T13:16:41.592-02:302017-07-27T13:16:41.592-02:30Only speaking for myself and not having read the o...Only speaking for myself and not having read the other comments Wise - I think you are mourning for your dog. My Josie hasn't been here [boohoo] for almost 2 years. just in the last few months has the searing general unidentified loneliness about EVERYTHING left me. Unconscious mourning? I now think so. Awful. <br />Suddenly it is over! I am now able to say "goodnight sweet girl" to the wee dog who is no longer at the foot of the bed or talk to the quiet toy dog who looks so like her. It now gives me more pleasure rather than pain. I wish the same for you - hang in there. It will get better. We had these treasures for so long - only fair that they should demand a couple of years for all they gave us. love, Betty Betty Bishophttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10552340264000998419noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-16398330850556914412017-07-27T09:32:51.844-02:302017-07-27T09:32:51.844-02:30At 58 I'd lost a few, including my mother, but...At 58 I'd lost a few, including my mother, but there was comfort in those remaining. And a solid foundation, so to speak, of shared memories.<br /><br />There are few now to whom I can say "remember.......?". My throat catches when I see a picture of my BFF's granddaughter who looks like her. <br /><br />When I'm engaged with life intensely I can push the sadness back and no one knows.<br /><br />Maybe as we age we feel life and its fleeting rush more intensely? So incredibly sweet and sour and 10,000 sensations in between.<br /><br />XO<br />WWWWisewebwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-8586340633041317472017-07-27T09:25:20.129-02:302017-07-27T09:25:20.129-02:30*late love*late loveWisewebwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-8933888311105226072017-07-27T09:20:33.436-02:302017-07-27T09:20:33.436-02:30Those random bots know not what offence and hurt t...Those random bots know not what offence and hurt they cause!<br /><br />XO<br />WWWWisewebwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-5991846012696793362017-07-26T16:43:17.914-02:302017-07-26T16:43:17.914-02:30I haven't lost many loved ones; only my grandp...I haven't lost many loved ones; only my grandparents, an uncle, a great-aunt and great-uncle who were large parts of my extended family's life, and my mother, about whose death I still feel after 12 years "It was preposterous," as Vanessa Bell wrote or said about her brother's sudden, early passing. <br /><br />But I believe I'm acquainted with the sadness you're describing, and think mine is grief about loss of people and dreams, and certain disappointments (in my own life). <br /><br />I've really enjoyed your readers' comments about this, too. Like them, I try to focus on the present and all that is wonderful about right now, and to be grateful for my blessed life so far and the many dear friends and decent, kind family that have always helped fill my world. <br /><br />It's not always possible to remain positive, especially when people older than me (I'm 58) are saying that things are only going to get worse, not better. I can only hope that my experience won't be exactly the same as theirs, and that if it is, I'll still manage to find the sweetness in daily life, as you and your other readers do. <br /><br />Being afraid I won't is a kind of anxiety; at least that's how I'm identifying it right now. <br /><br />" the way the water is right now, denim blue with underwear of white lace"<br /><br />Oh my goodness, the writer in you! <br /><br />-KateBlondi Blathershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15656970490122824720noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-59528719921983118342017-07-26T09:32:07.775-02:302017-07-26T09:32:07.775-02:30Thank you RJA.I'm so glad I'm not alone in...Thank you RJA.I'm so glad I'm not alone in this. Yes, you are blessed with late live but that, as you say,has its own baggage looking ahead.<br /><br />I'm glad I've written about this!<br /><br />XO<br />WWWWisewebwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-56181332206172033672017-07-26T07:04:38.713-02:302017-07-26T07:04:38.713-02:30Growing old sucks. Let no-one tell you different. ...Growing old sucks. Let no-one tell you different. The mind stops looking forward. There's so little to see there. Instead, it harks back, stretching into the distant, long-gone, times when folk we knew were still a reality, not just a tear-tinged memory. I am so fortunate to have found love late in life, but even that is touched with the sadness that one day in that oh, not-very-distant future, one will no longer be around for the other. Yet each day can still be a joy, and for that we are grateful (though I'm not sure to whom!). Keep blogging, and know you have many friends.<br />R J Adamshttps://sparrowchat.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-23015627649607540592017-07-25T21:29:33.695-02:302017-07-25T21:29:33.695-02:30Well, I'm glad I'm not going crazy. Someti...Well, I'm glad I'm not going crazy. Sometimes, though, I post a reply, and it disappears. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-65922612005186439612017-07-25T15:13:45.427-02:302017-07-25T15:13:45.427-02:30Thanks Maggie. Sometimes I wish I believed in an a...Thanks Maggie. Sometimes I wish I believed in an afterlife where reunification would happen and we'd all frolic around the golden mansions under a benign goddess and be like before. Ah well.<br /><br />I try and make a difference when the opportunity presents. <br /><br />XO<br />WWW<br />Wisewebwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-13229402173344639572017-07-25T15:11:30.818-02:302017-07-25T15:11:30.818-02:30Thank you so much T, that was profound and validat...Thank you so much T, that was profound and validating. My friend who lost her daughter totally gets my Ansa loss as Ansa would be out road training with me near her small farm. It allows her to talk of the beloved cats she has lost.<br />Yes, it is every day, from one to the other, but not obsessively, I just give them time for a minute or two and thank them for the love they gave so freely and joyfully and look at small meaningful mementoes like a piece of needlework or a bookmark.<br /><br />I do miss the chats also, but this blog makes up for so much. My virtual kindred spirits.<br /><br />I love the song.<br /><br />XO<br />WWW Wisewebwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.com