tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post6526983014887899505..comments2024-03-27T13:32:06.780-02:30Comments on The Other Side of Eighty: NorahWisewebwomanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-49500644350096962412016-10-19T11:42:07.071-02:302016-10-19T11:42:07.071-02:30Are you paying over $5 / pack of cigs? I'm buy...Are you paying <b>over $5 / pack of cigs?</b> I'm buying my cigarettes over at <b><a href="http://cigarettes.syntaxlinks.com/r/DutyFreeDepot" rel="nofollow">Duty Free Depot</a></b> and this saves me over <b>60%</b> from cigarettes.Bloggerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07287821785570247118noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-70234718726940604722015-12-07T23:45:48.025-03:302015-12-07T23:45:48.025-03:30No all the characters came alive in my head Tom. I...No all the characters came alive in my head Tom. I had written a basis for this years ago, the main character was in her fifties and runner but I couldn't get it to work. Here I think it does and it will be in an anthology coming in 2016.<br />Thank you!<br />XO<br />WWWWisewebwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-79318686965683896402015-12-03T13:17:59.922-03:302015-12-03T13:17:59.922-03:30Powerful piece that is ... based on a true story?...Powerful piece that is ... based on a true story? A friend of mine did a similar thing after he had been diagnosed with ALS. Sad.Tomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08611148987085476580noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-46549990552682470222015-12-01T22:19:09.644-03:302015-12-01T22:19:09.644-03:30Oh Linda - I missed your reply until I linked to t...Oh Linda - I missed your reply until I linked to this story on my latest post. Thank you so much for taking the time to read it and your valuable critique that I will work with.<br /><br />XO<br />WWWWisewebwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-14958262910959358322015-04-02T14:18:17.345-02:302015-04-02T14:18:17.345-02:30I somehow missed this post. Congratulations on ma...I somehow missed this post. Congratulations on making the short list. Of course, that's a great accomplishment, and I hope you're ridiculously pleased. Critique: I will remember the way the heroine ordered her life as a way of managing the encroaching memory problems. You were doing a great job of showing us instead of telling us what was happening. She might not consider herself sentimental and she is certainly spare in her sentimentality, but you were wise to provide her with enough empathy that we could identify with her and like her. She is a well-rounded character. We could imagine ourselves in her place and could wish the best for her that way. That builds tension. Because you're so good at this, you might consider just dropping the first and maybe first two sentences entirely, sentences that tell us what to think and perhaps might mistakenly lead some readers to worry that the work will be too didactic. It's definitely not didactic. Trust your story-telling ability and your readers' intelligence. If you begin with the third sentence, we're immersed right away in the story. I like just the little bit of doubt about whether she was taking care of Ginger first so that he wouldn't be left behind or whether she was testing the efficacy of her own solution. Brava! <br /><br />By inserting the startling sentence about Hugh's death right after some innocuous details, without any buildup, you show us the disorder of her mind. Great job. However, you might consider breaking the paragraph there, forcing a slight pause on the readers so that they can absorb this and realize what's happening. Otherwise, they might just blaze through and think you, as the writer, are disorganized, until they get a little further. <br /><br />I hope this critique doesn't seem too much, but when I brought my manuscripts to critique sessions, I wanted some concrete "I like this but consider this" kinds of comments, too. I felt then that the work at least merited that kind of attention and then I had feedback. Your work does merit that kind of attention. Then, you look at these comments, of course, and keep the ones that make sense and toss the ones that show that I don't get it! Linda P.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-29129310311175323482015-03-27T12:58:01.388-02:302015-03-27T12:58:01.388-02:30thank you all!!!
XO
WWWthank you all!!!<br />XO<br />WWWWisewebwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-74734612751495423962015-03-26T09:34:56.628-02:302015-03-26T09:34:56.628-02:30I was right there with Norah as I was reading. Nic...I was right there with Norah as I was reading. Nicely done missus!Grannymarhttp://grannymar.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-20651699145326943252015-03-25T22:28:36.954-02:302015-03-25T22:28:36.954-02:30Yes, it's good and deserves at least the short...Yes, it's good and deserves at least the short list.Sharyn Ekberghhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11987304898246173619noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-5515818286101884222015-03-25T18:08:00.493-02:302015-03-25T18:08:00.493-02:30Yes, I would definitely have put you on the shortl...Yes, I would definitely have put you on the shortlist too.<br />Spare, unsentimental, real.Frikohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04277167831642088694noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-35240810124282388222015-03-25T08:55:58.791-02:302015-03-25T08:55:58.791-02:30Poignant and beautiful.Poignant and beautiful.Rummuserhttp://www.rummuser.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-12041727968768995252015-03-24T23:49:44.293-02:302015-03-24T23:49:44.293-02:30Excellent! Gripped me to the end. I could hear the...Excellent! Gripped me to the end. I could hear the Irish brogue shining through. Beautifully written.R J Adamshttps://sparrowchat.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-15302012570266953162015-03-24T21:57:20.720-02:302015-03-24T21:57:20.720-02:30I really enjoyed this! Very poignant and beautifu...I really enjoyed this! Very poignant and beautifully written. Thank you for sharing it with us.Janehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11183989674051777005noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-20519267588336830762015-03-24T18:28:56.564-02:302015-03-24T18:28:56.564-02:30That's very, very good. No wonder you made the...That's very, very good. No wonder you made the short list!Secret Agent Womanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07564690116156754219noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-53273658172358626592015-03-24T17:52:22.764-02:302015-03-24T17:52:22.764-02:30so very sad this story. ann.so very sad this story. ann.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-58043875293469968582015-03-24T15:21:20.800-02:302015-03-24T15:21:20.800-02:30Wow. Very goodWow. Very goodJudihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16995368903018973910noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-81498306826311002052015-03-24T14:37:37.317-02:302015-03-24T14:37:37.317-02:30oh my
you write
awesome...oh my<br />you write<br />awesome...One Woman's Journey - a journal being written from Woodhaven - her cottage in the woods.https://www.blogger.com/profile/12548226150115102345noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14874528.post-18562481941360933142015-03-24T14:27:00.899-02:302015-03-24T14:27:00.899-02:30Sad. Sad. Blondi Blathershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15656970490122824720noreply@blogger.com