A month slid out from under me. These things happen. I am miserly with my energy these days. I need it for the things of life which would be but a blink in the old days but now take up a fair bit of time. A lot has happened, it always does. And stuff I should be doing must do gets shovelled out of the way "for now" and stuff I have positively no interest in doing but get sucked into, gets half-heartedly started and abandoned. Time wasting. Unforgiveable when one gets to my massive age. Old habits die hard.
But I got myself a new computer, a swish, sparkling white, 27" screen beauty with a matching keyboard. And oh the difference. My old one, which owed me nothing, had a fading, uncertain screen, which nearly made me blind but in the habit of my people, I clung to her, praying she would collapse and die and alleviate guilt in getting a new shiny effort, well she didn't. Die completely. But I bit the bullet. And voila! Only thrilled. And wondering why I didn't do it sooner. I had set the money aside for such a purchase.
Meanwhile I struggled with a task I offered to assist a friend with. God knows why. She has abused our "friendship" in the past and does not respect the work I do but demands more and more (unpaid). I wrestled with my own people pleasing personality in an effort to disentangle myself from the mess she I had created which boiled down to the fact that I did not need her as a "friend" and my brain busied itself with how I would bail out. For good. And I should mention also, I was her counsellor in all sorts of messes she put herself in. And then I landed, after a few days of much too much mulling, on the excuse of "lack of energy" which is the truth. I do not have energy for her vampire sucking. And I do not have to be specific. But gently let her slide off into a state of 'be well and prosper' without me. Phew. Done and dusted.
Meanwhile, my indoor garden cheers me no end. It lifts my spirits every single day.
And I will get on with the stuff that pleases me now. More on that later.
