People ask me about God.
What do you believe?
Do you have a deity?
Are you a lapsed Catholic?
1. expired; voided; terminated: a lapsed insurance policy.
2. no longer committed to or following the tenets of a particular belief, obligation, position, etc.: a lapsed Catholic.
Well, yeah, I guess you could call me that.
Personally, I’d prefer the word “recovered” though, if you don’t mind.
re·cov·er v. tr.
1. To get back; regain.
2. To restore (oneself) to a normal state: He recovered himself after a slip on the ice.
3. To compensate for: She recovered her losses.
4. To procure (usable substances, such as metal) from unusable substances, such as ore or waste.
5. To bring under observation again: "watching the comet since it was first recovered—first spotted since its 1910 visit" (Christian Science Monitor).
1. To regain a normal or usual condition, as of health.
2. To receive a favorable judgment in a lawsuit.
As in: I’m now restored to a normal state.
I’m in fit mental condition.
I believe in logic.
I believe in science.
What’s that you say?
No, I don’t believe in religion.
Yes. Of any kind.
Yeah, it does seem that that’s hard for you to believe.
What’s that about the bible?
It was written for people like me?
No, I don’t think God wrote it.
Oh, he dictated it?
How do you know that?
Oh, the bible says so?
Well, that doesn’t compute for me, that logic thing I have. Sorry.
Thanks for asking. But if I did believe in God the whole scene would go like this:
My god has no religion.
My god has no gender.
My god has no agenda.
Basically I don’t believe in an Invisible Cosmic Housekeeper or ICH for short. Especially one who is always whining for more money and the biggest fanciest house in the poorest neighbourhood.
Blasphemy you say?
Well, I’m quite cool with that.
No, really I am.
And another thing I really believe in, you want to hear it?
My rights end exactly where yours begin.