Friday, November 14, 2008

Banjaxed


This is a follow-up to my previous post.

It is the anniversary of just about three weeks of Rosie painting two rooms. She is going to ‘finish it off’ today: correct all the wavering lines, fill in the missed spots, overpaint the occasional splashes of unwanted colour.

“This is just too complicated”, she barges into my office after a couple of hours, paintbrush dripping, her lips quivering.

“Yes, I think it is,” I agree, “Why don’t you stop?”

I survey the scene of streaky hell, red splashes on the white ceiling, inadequate butterscotch colour on the upper walls, hit or miss signal red on the lower walls, outreaching randomly, longingly, at the yellow in occasional areas. Haphazard spots of all colours on the polished wooden floor, door jambs a wild palette of all the colours. One door completely missed, displaying layers of past paint jobs, a whole history of the house encapsulated on its shabby panels.

I want to cry. I want to throw things. I want my mother. I want some grown-up to come and take care of both of us for I can tell she’s close to tears too.

It’s a small village. Her older sister chooses this very moment to barge right in on top of us, her toothless smile beaming ahead of her.

“I’m here to see the decorating!” she announces brightly.

“I’m not ready!” I say, “Now is not a good time!”

“Oh, don’t be silly!” she says, “Anytime is a good time!”

And you can guess what happens next. My full wrath gets turned on the visitor.

“It’s my house,” I say with a really nasty edge to my voice, “ And I’m saying to you, right now, that this is not a good time. Please leave!”

“Oh, be like that,” she says, “Someone definitely got out of the wrong side of the bed this morning!”

13 comments:

  1. Sounds just like my painting dear one. Only I don't realise just how dreadful it is until it dries.

    {{{WWW}}}

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  2. @Jo:
    Thank you, my mind still hasn't grasped how appalling it all is....:-(
    @Hull:
    Ooh, I'm not too sure, this is some (un)work, let me tell you!
    Thanks for the hugs.....
    XO
    WWW

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  3. Oh dear oh dear. It sounds awfully like you'll have to get someone else in to redo it as you actually intended. Either that or you can turn it into an interesting abstract work of art.

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  4. The thing is Nick, I don't quite trust anyone else to take over now. Plus I've already blown the budget.
    I will have to sort it out myself, something I never wanted to do. but I've painted enough in my time. One good thing is I've learned a very valuable lesson. I should never have taken her at her word but gone over procedures with her and insisted on tried and true methodolgy.
    I wish it looked abstract, it merely looks sloppy and messy.
    XO
    WWW

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  5. Big hugs from me!

    I'd offer to help if I only had the energy this week.

    More hugs!

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  6. Thanks GM!
    Virtual help is great!
    I took a long walk with the dog and whinged at my daughter on the phone and I'm feeling little better!
    XO
    WWW

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  7. That's a pickle you've got yourself into. Are you going to pay her for a job badly done? I think you should not and stick to your guns. She knows she's screwed it up. I wish I could come and help you set it straight. I'd be over in a jiffy.

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  8. oh man. i'm so sorry. you can buy some Oops (if your village carries it) to take off paint that ended up in the wrong places. but the really picky meticulous work of touching up where paint isn't but needs to be will take a while. not the way you want to spend your time, i'll warrant. nor would i.

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  9. Dang! What a mess, WWW!
    Here's an idea - buy lots of cans of white spray paint, or a contraption with which to do spray painting - cover every wall and ceiling and door in pure whiteness.
    Next, bring your most comfortable chair into the center of the room and think peaceful thoughts.

    Afterwards, you could maybe use the new decor to become minimalist.
    A stray orchid, scant furniture, one important painting.....
    :-D

    And Rosie will be a nightmare soon forgotten.

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  10. oh Irene:
    She was taking money from me every week for the past 3 weeks so I'm out all of that.
    Thanks for the good thoughts!
    XO
    WWW

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  11. Laurie:
    My jury is still out on how I'm going to proceed as I have some events planned for the house, I may just shrug and live with it ;^)
    XO
    WWW

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  12. T:
    Lovely thought but not me at all, I'm afraid. Me in my parallel universe maybe though ;^)
    And in a small village Rosie will be around all the time. It will be fine though for it won't be important even a week from now :^)
    XO
    WWW

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