Friday, July 19, 2013

The Hardest Battle is with Ourselves.


Odd this. I was expecting the final call. And it came today.

I had planned this road race for a while now. And others - three and by their own choices - were joining me. It had been on my bucket list for a while.

I had some issues with my right foot. A deep burning in the right sole. But I recalled I had a similar issue in my running days. My podiatrist said it was a deep callous, even from childhood, and I thought of my days running shoeless on Sherkin Island in West Cork. Us kids would take off our shoes at the beginning of the summer and not put them back on until safely re-ensconced in the city once more.

It felt amazingly good to just be back in the racing fraternity (I use the term extremely loosely, racing being relative for an elder 'n all that!), going to my running store, discussing socks and sweats and being measured and walk-tested for new trainers, etc. I hadn't expected that renewed vigour and joy. And amidst the train-walking I found myself jogging a little from time to time. A huge surprise. Added to that was the honking and cheering from the passing village cars as I road-trained. Seriously.

And I can't say I was surprised that the co-racers were dropping out. Maybe I'm a pessimist at heart. One had completely underestimated what 10 miles was. Another had a leg issue. But there were still 2 of us in it. And we trained together a bit but mostly alone due to domicile distance. But I always felt she was going to back away even though she assured me she was in it, guaranteed. So I got the call today a blah-blah-blah call.

Expected as I said. But nevertheless.

I am struggling mentally with doing the race completely alone. Other festivals are on which demand the previously committed supporters' attention.

So the battle is with myself. And it's scary.

Any input would be greatly appreciated.

28 comments:

  1. Go for it. I wish that I could give some inputs from personal experience but my running, even walking days are long behind me. I use an exercycle and that is also a battle with myself everyday to give up before I finish the quota of time on it.

    Actually, I envy you!

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  2. Thanks for the fresh perspective, Ramana, I needed that. And I'm with you on the machine thing. I find machines very, very challenging for me and my mindset.

    XO
    WWW

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  3. You will feel great once you get to the race, as you have said...bucket list, planned for awhile and your statement of felt amazingly good are all indicators that you will have a wonderful experience. Remember the feeling of when you were getting outfitted at the store, when you get to the start of that Tely 10 and feel the excitement that fills the air you will lose any doubts you have. You won't be alone...in 2011 2868 completed it with more woman than men finishing (according to the article).
    My final words of encouragement are words of your own to remind you that you are doing the Tely 10 "come hell or high water".

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  4. We're really always alone anyway. (Cliche I know but it's true).

    I cannot do what I used to, and 10 miles is not even imaginable for me because of a bit of a disability which gets worse as I go along.

    I once did miles and miles, a few at a time, all day long treks, alone. Then I did 5km, then 3km, but now only 2, and I mean alone both physically, and mentally.

    I've never run, but from description I know I hit a 'runner's high' at about 50 metres into my walk, me going along at about 2km per hour. And there I stay if I'm alone. Just me, some kind of bubble encapsulating me and the birds the breeze in the trees, a rustle over there causing me to drop out of the bubble but within a few steps, I'm back in.

    I finish on such a high. Alone. I wouldn't have it any other way.

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  5. Ten miles is a long distance but not impossible.
    Walking is best for fitness!
    Good luck.

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  6. So proud of you and guessing you are at least 10 years younger then me. I would have done it then :)
    Not now....
    Good Luck
    WWW

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  7. I think you should go for it - even to give it a go is better than wishing you had! it won't be any easier next year,unfortunately ;)
    Dave and I are hoping to give the Gros Morne hike a go when we come back - and hoping we haven't left it too late.
    I'll be cheering you on - virtually!

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  8. As long as you are properly trained, you should have no problem doing this. It only gets daunting if you feel you are physically not well prepared. You'll have to do enough training to be so, nut you know you can count on your own pugnacity to pull you through also as long as your body co-operates. Good luck!

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  9. Cheri:
    Thank you for those words. I had the best training session this evening, perfect temperature, distance and no foot pain.
    I am psyched!
    XO
    WWW

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  10. Anon:

    Yippee! That was me when I came home today, thinking: I can do this. I want to grab onto that feeling and French kiss it to the ground!

    And good for you to bring me into reality and good luck with all you do!

    XO
    WWW

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  11. OWJ:

    Thank you for your lovely wishes and I'm sure I'm not that much younger than you!

    XO
    WWW

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  12. Thanks Linda.

    Grandgirl and I did the Gros Morne Hike a few years ago and loved every minute. It is spectacular!

    XO
    WWW

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  13. Irene:

    I am doing my best with the training. 10 miles is daunting but I am awfully close to target and will rest up before the actual race.

    Fingers crossed.

    XO
    WWW

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  14. I'd say focus on the "renewed vigor and joy" that the training gave you, and get out there and do it!

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  15. If you're feeling awfully tired and sore you could drop to the ground and crawl in like that athlete did some year's ago.

    Think of the publicity! Elderly woman in pain and near decrepitude refuses to give up, staggers into finish line. Cites Irish fortitude.

    Might just pusch up the donations too.

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  16. It's simple really because what is the old saying: "you only regret the things you didn't do but wish you had" ... here's to no regrets! :P

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  17. Repeat after me: I am not afraid.



    Now, do it!

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  18. I have found setting out to do something alone often very scary and daunting. But do it anyway. Nothing like facing down the fear to add to the vigour.

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  19. Molly:

    You are right. Best training session so far was yesterday!!

    Vigour and joy. Yes.

    XO
    WWW

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  20. Anon:

    Daughter says to phone the papers and get some free publicity out of my predicament.

    You are validating that sentiment. Crawl in. Love it.

    Might hurt the old knees though??

    XO
    WWW

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  21. Anon:

    No regrets. Absolutely.

    I am clinging to many mantras offered here.

    XO
    WWW

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  22. Anon:

    No regrets. Absolutely.

    I am clinging to many mantras offered here.

    XO
    WWW

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  23. Thank you Mel.

    I am not afraid.

    There.

    XO
    WWW

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  24. Annie:

    You are one of my powers of example with all you do. And alone.

    Thanks for the words.

    XO
    WWW

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  25. There's really no-one in the world you can trust whole-heartedly - other than yourself, kid. Go for it, and while doing raise a metaphorical digit to them who let you down.

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  26. RJA:

    "Metaphorical digit" oh that has to be one of my new favourite actions!!

    XO
    WWW

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  27. I may have missed this, but is it one of those races where you can run or walk? I couldn't run 10 miles if my life depended on it. But walking? That I'd enjoy. I wish you all the best in it!

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