A blog-mate and I were exchanging emails about how she was giving up this 'n that and I was sharing with her what I had chosen to give up when I was reminded of a spiritual retreat I was on back in the day, when the facilitator mentioned he'd always thought life was about what we could add to it (addition) when actually it was the exact opposite (subtraction).
I've never forgotten that. We were all a bunch of recovered alcoholics there so we'd already let go of the "divil dhrink" but being told we would improve our lives greatly if we subtracted other stuff - Whut?, give up more? - had us just about running for cover.
But he was right. Now I'm listing some of what I've given up over the years since I first gave up alcohol. Much of it's not "stuff". It is behaviours and attitudes that do not serve me well no matter how cushy they feel. And some were not by choice but by circumstance.
Alcohol
Tobacco
Compulsive eating and/or restricting food
Television
People pleasing (still working on that!)
Sex (not by choice!)
Abusive people
City living
Well paying work I found unfulfilling
Pharmaceutical crutches
Toxic relationships in the guise of "romance".
Unsupportive relationships.
I'm sure more will come to my mind.
I'll write about the additions I've made to replace these subtractions in another post for nature does abhor a vacuum.
Loyalty cards to shops and cafes. They have an ulterior motive in offering a few pence off if you join.
ReplyDeleteTrying to be perfect. Not pulling my own weight. Being mean.
ReplyDeleteI have subtracted a lot as well, but added a lot of knowledge and of that I am glad. It is so nice to become less loaded down with dead weight as we get older.
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ReplyDeleteInteresting list of subtractions, I look forward to reading about the additions, when you are ready.
And with any luck, the things you add back in are far more valuable/enriching than the things you subtract.
ReplyDeleteEnna:
ReplyDeleteAs the old cliché has it, no such thing as a free lunch. Those cards have a price tag.
XO
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Hattie:
ReplyDeleteI would also add for myself "being judgemental" and it's always around intellectual snobbery. Kick that one to the curb.
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Irene:
ReplyDeletethe happiest people I know are the ones with no attachments!
XO
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GM:
ReplyDeleteI think I'd need a few blog posts for the additions!!
Another one added tonight.
XO
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SAW:
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely!
XO
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Oh my god you've got your life so together. I'm up on "the other side of 70" and never yet got passed the musing stage of any self-improvement project. When when. (Slumps off to fridge for comfort).
ReplyDeleteThat's a good list. I've given up a lot of those things as well. I would also mention supporting political parties, as I'm disillusioned with just about all of them!
ReplyDeleteThere's a lot to be said for simplifying our lives rather than complicating them, and often spoiling them, with people and things we don't need.
Giving up comfort and convenience and certainty for peace and hope. Wish me luck.
ReplyDeleteAnon:
ReplyDeleteOh no not together at all. Still working on it, my dear a day at a time. Food has been the toughest so far. we all need to eat on a daily basis and complete abstention has always suited me. But I make healthier choices now and focus on other stuff.
XO
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Nick:
ReplyDeleteEven though I was asked to run in
the last federal election I've completely given up politics too. I saw what the craven Greens did in Ireland and am completely disillusioned with all the parties and also with so-called democracy. Simply a smokescreen for the corporations.
XO
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SJG:
ReplyDeleteOh I do wish you would share more of this, that is wonderful!
All the best of luck and belief in yourself!!
XO
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I think I always land in spam.
ReplyDeleteMuch you gave up
me too.
Some never a problem.
Working on a lot still
in the late 70's
and thought I would have arrived
by this time:)
Not so....
OWJ:
ReplyDeleteWe are never finished. We will die with most of our work undone :)
Happy thought, that.... :)
XO
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Since I started on Vipassana meditation,things have been dropping off by themselves without my consciously trying to drop them. The only thing I am unable to on a sustained basis cigarettes and one of these days, that too will. I have only one cooked meal a day incidentally!
ReplyDeleteI have given only given up worrying. Though it seems to make a sizeable and positive difference to the rest of my life, including naturally lessening my bad habits. Lx
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