Saturday, December 12, 2015

Old Lovers

Some die off.

Some move on.

And the very few Somes keep in touch

Via


The Christmas Letter Email!

I got one today.

I can't tell you how many years I've been getting them from a former gentleman lover. As my name is sprinkled throughout with a couple of dearests, I think perhaps, unless there were many such as myself all bestowed with this fairly common name, that the email is personal. For my eyes only, so to speak.

I'm at the age where lovers can be pretty thin on the ground, ex- or otherwise.

He's a few years older than I, I wrote about him - kinda sorta with my usual poetic and literary licence - here, for those who are curious. (And I know I would be if you were writing this post). Go to the extreme right column for the succession of instalments - there are 6. That 1st draft remained that way.

It's rather gratifying to have any kind of passion declared for one at my doddery age. I imagine the passion is for my younger, adventurous self as is my passion for his sprightly, but fearful, self (he is now crippled with arthritis).

One of life's greatest kissers was Ian.

An admirable skill set at any age.

29 comments:

  1. You are lucky! I wish that someone would write to me like that even if only once a year! And I am no spring chicken either.

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    1. I hadn't thought of it as lucky, Ramana, but you are right. I am. A gift really, a reminder of younger more rollicking times.

      XO
      WWW

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    2. You are indeed fortunate that this fellow remembers you so fondly as to write a letter.

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    3. The love of his life, he sez. LOL

      XO
      WWW

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  2. Though you are no spring chicken, I would hardly describe you as "doddery." As the comment above says, you are fortunate that a great kisser, former lover, now a friend, would write...will you write back, I wonder?

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    1. I already did, he also wrote of heartbreak surrounding a family member with cancer and his own fragile body so I've learned the "do it now" thing as I got older.
      XO
      WWW

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  3. I am definitely curious! Off to read!

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    1. LOL, I will be curious as to what you think, Linda :)

      XO
      WWW

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    2. You're a wonderful writer. It's days later now since I read the six episodes, and I'm still mentally curled up in a corner of that coffee shop or perched somewhere unobtrusive in Martha's studio, watching, absorbing, thinking. Oh, and I'm also thinking that I should have lived a more adventurous life! However, as should be apparent, I'm the observing, thinking type.

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  4. That letter is beautiful to look at, even if we can't read it!

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    1. AW SJG - I guess you, and some others didn't quite catch the strike through letter on my post with the sub of email.

      Letter is only something vague I found online.

      XO
      WWW

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  5. Do you dream, of these lovers? I do, and it's the only contact I have now with those experiences, only one is still above ground as they say. How wonderful you still have someone like that.
    The letter, what I could see, look like it was written with fountain pen, nearly calligraphy.
    Generous of you to share.
    Cheers of the seasons,
    Mike

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    1. Sometimes, SFM, especially the memorable ones like the poets who would recite poetry to me or roll under the bed and sing (seriously!) the fun ones in other words. Ian was too much an introvert, I think he would have been happier a priest, playing a kind of tragic unattainable version of himself.
      XO
      WWW

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  6. The picture is beautiful - I hope it was a joy to read as it looks like one of those ones that you could stare at for hours. Whilst emails are so much easier (to send and receive, particularly now that the post office is pulling back deliveries and shutting up shops), there is something special about getting a physical letter.

    I re-read the short story, too - I enjoyed it as much the second time as I did the first, so thank you for bringing it back up to the light :-)

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    1. Thank you for your kind words, Jo - please read my response to SJG re the letter, alas alack.

      XO
      WWW

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  7. I read all of your installments...an interesting story with compelling characters, neither of whom I felt a particular liking of, but I also found the original comments interesting, too. What I often notice in myself as a reader are contradictory responses that occur in the same moment. Cheers to you.

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    1. Yes, E, I was ambivalent about these characters but also aware that Martha was so very wounded and channelled it into her art and her disdain. Ian is not very likeable with what he projects, wounded too. I never did love him.

      XO
      WWW

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  8. Lucky you! I never receive Christmas emails from former lovers. Clearly I'm easily forgettable!

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    1. I think there are other elements at play Nick in the ones who never quite leave the scene, so to speak. Ian had pedestaled me and I was needy enough at the time to take some pleasure in that. One of his fantasies was living with me and I know it would never, ever have worked. He would have driven me mad underfoot. Even though he would do all the cooking and cleaning (he said).

      I think lovers are far better off living in the fantasy zone, reality bursts that bubble.

      XO
      WWW

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  9. I recently found a Facebook posting with the name of my first boyfriend. I wondered, could it be the same Steve, so I looked him up, and yes, it was the same person, but he had aged something dreadful. We are the same age, just a few months apart, yet he appears to be closer to 70 than 60. Guess he should have stayed with me and he would appear younger!

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    1. Or, DKZ, you would look 10 years older, LOL. Some people are born old, I'd dread to see Ian now, he's offered to send me pics of he and his granddaughters and I always decline. He wasn't wearing well that last time I saw him (stringy comb-over, why don't these men shave their heads?)and his once handsome face had the appearance of an aging and very sad hound-dog)

      You had a lucky escape!

      XO
      WWW

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  10. I just dropped by to see how some of my old blogger friends are doing.Lovely writings by you my friend !

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  11. Thanks GBG I think I did drop you a line to see how you were, lovely to see you back in the blogsaddle, my friend. :)

    XO
    WWW

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  12. I've cut off all my old lovers for the sake of this relationship, but I can't regret any of them.

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