Friday, August 05, 2016

King of the Broadcasters


Sometimes it's triply hard to make a living. Make that to the power of 1,000. 99% of the time my PGs (tourists) are wonderful, kind, aware, interesting and interested.

But the odd time, the very odd time, I realize I'm making barely 50c an hour for the time they suck out of me like this guy(TG)! TG booked in for 3 days and nights.

I am captive to his enchantment with his own company and his interesting self. He's a non-stop broadcaster. A braggadocio of the first order. From his family pictures lining the walls of some distant legislature to how wonderful a husband/father/son/advocate he's been since he was born. One night I had to leave my own house and go to the graveyard to commune with dead strangers as he had finally trampled all over my last remaining nerve ending.

I had to leave him in mid-flow in my living room last night when I felt a scream rush to my throat and only by a sheer act of will could I squelch it by running upstairs.

This morning, as he entered the dining room he started up again about me being his escort to his son's wedding (kill me now!) and then launched into how the Cree Nation honours him for all his work in the Cree Tribe. His solution (which is hugely successful, he remarked in passing) to tribal alcoholism: "Give the natives proper suits and employ them all in First Nations casinos and give them credit cards and then bingo! they'll have purchasing power and a fancy car. They'll stop drinking!" Can you count all the wrongs in that statement? Boy, I'd love to find me some Cree elders and have a chat about sainted TG and his final solution.

So I stood, pushed my chair in, went to the kitchen, cleaned up, then said abruptly as the verbal diarrhea poured all around me: "Look, I've work to do, phone calls to make, I'm going to my office now and need privacy."

He says, I kid you not: "Ah, don't leave me, I love our little chats, oh come on!".

I made it and closed the door with a firm thunk and leaned against it gnawing my own fist.

He leaves tomorrow morning.

22 comments:

  1. Ugh, loud-mouthed attention-seeking know-alls. What a pain in the arse they are! I guess he'll still think he's God's gift to the world on his deathbed.

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    1. He's the worst I've ever encountered in all my born days, Nick as there's not an ounce of self-awareness. He flirts with me, insists we need to maintain a "relationship" after he leaves and ignored my refusal to companion him to the wedding today. I had to leave my house leaving him pouty. Two wives have left him. H'm I wonder why? He told me I was way behind the times in using IT as faxes were the way of the future - people love the paper in their hands.
      You'd be sobbing, Nick.

      XO
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    1. I am close, Friko, I know there are many like him out there, I've met my fair share but Jaysus, this fellow wins the big one.
      XO
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  3. Trump is in your kitchen?? Poor you!

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    1. Oh LOL LOL. You have me a laugh you did! They were separated at birth.

      XO
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  4. my rental will have its own kitchen and is in a separate building!

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    1. I know I'm taking it for the team in posting this for any airbnb wannabes out there, Sharyn. I'm lucky I have a graveyard up the road to run to or throw myself at. I can't be too careful in who I share my trials as a host with locally!
      XO
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  5. Gawd. That sounds like my brother in law. He is not a bad person, but his constant yakking drives everyone nuts!

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    1. It's kind of sad Hattie but the nerve endings get raw. It's not good for the people around these blowhards. The noise of it!
      XO
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  6. Made my day, reading this did!
    Could be a chapter in Excellent Women (Barbara Pym) which I just finished reading before dropping off to sleep last night...

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    1. I made a note of it Rebecca. Sounds like a good read. TG would make any woman run for the hills.
      XO
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  7. We are a smallish circle of friends and two are like this. We don't all meet on every occasion, and when they are not there the relief is palpable. Otherwise no one wants to sit next to them!You could laugh, but it does ruin the time for the person who is sat next to them at lunch for instance, or the one who is 'chosen' as their companion in a museum / art gallery. Some are already trying to only meet if they are not coming. What to do? Ann, Scotland.

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    1. Ann I would only suggest they not be informed of you meets. These guys don't realize how deadly dull they are. They are so riveted on their own brilliance as raconteurs par excellence. Mine left at 9.q5 this morning. It's 2.07 and I'm still decompressing.
      XO
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  8. Look on the bright side: He didn't propose to you.

    U

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    1. Well my dear you're wrong there. He did this morning. Is there a good word which means the opposite of "charmed"?
      Revolted ?
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  9. You should have accepted, then jilted him at the altar. It might have deflated his ego somewhat. No, I'm kidding! Just be prepared: if he rings hoping for another three nights ensure you're fully booked.

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  10. I gave him an incorrect phone number but he proudly showed me my postal address he'd grabbed from the rental site. I could go on but he's out of my life now and let him stay there. Lovely guests here at the moment.
    XO
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  11. Do you think self awareness can be acquired or maybe one must be born with that capacity? If so these people are handicapped are they not? Perhaps these people are amoung us to show US our own ability for self reflection as kind humans with the capacity to try to see the insecure human with a problem trying to make themselves feel better about themselves or as a joke/problem to be made fun of and avoided...hate to rain on your parade but perhaps your patting yourself on the back for being self aware could use a bit of looking back on itself hmmm...

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    1. Wow anon. Anon, of course. You try spending 3 days and nights with such an insensate and oblivious expounded with no interest in anyone beyond his own expounding.
      Wow

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  12. Good that you don't have to have him around any more. I know the type. They can get your goat if you allow them to.

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    1. One has to leave them at it Ramana. Constant monologue. No dialogue. Tragic and pitiful.
      XO
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