Thursday, January 11, 2018

The Strange World of Predawn


I haven't done this in a while. Write in the pre-dawn hours.

There's a good reason.

Pain.

Intermittent and weird.

Tests are being conducted. Daily it seems. Various hospitals, clinics.

I've become a medi-bore overnight. Not about the symptoms. No. They're brief and troubling. But all these blood tests, scans, etc. My life is filled with medi-treks every day this week. Which exhaust me. And then I'm flooded with relief once they're behind me. Like I'm joining the real world again. I do these treks alone, by choice. I don't know what it feels like to have a partner/loved one journeying beside. I don't think I'd like it. I pursue my own thoughts in these waiting rooms.

"Ah, The Galway Shawl" I said to a pacing man yesterday in the nuclear medicine clinic. He'd been whistling it under his breath. Waiting for someone, I speculated.

"I don't know what else to do," he whispered, walking slowly around the pod-like room.

On top of that a friend of over 30 years has been diagnosed with liver cancer so he just recovered from surgery on Tuesday and another acquaintance messaged all of us yesterday that he is refusing any further treatment for cancer and is going to die with dignity in the next few days. He's 63.

So a fresh batch of pain strikes me before 5 in the morning most mornings. And I get up and take some meds but they take a while to kick in.

They say it's a good time for writing. Blank slate of a brain. So here I go.

I trek off to the doctor later on this morning.

I hope we get to the bottom of this.

I was waiting in a coffee shop yesterday to sign some papers for my real estate agent and I deliberately sat across from a man who was knitting a hat very similar to one I just finished for a friend (see above). And I showed him a pic of it.

We chatted and he let me feel the hat he was working on(silk and merino) and then he let me feel his hand-knitted scarf (muskox from the North West Territories) and then he admired my Kipling knapsack so I offered him a feel of it (parachute material, very light, very old) and he searched on line for one like it as he loved it. And he told me of a sealskin mitten workshop happening at the end of the month, and I told him about my story shawls that I create and we had such a lovely time. And then my realtor arrived and I never even found out what my new friend's name was.

Or maybe it was just one of those jewels of a connection and should lie where it is, you know?

I mean it's kinda special when you get to feel a stranger's clothes and can ooh and aah together over the sensuous nature of beautiful material, right?

Where do you take it from there?

21 comments:

  1. A REAL connection with another soul. How very unusual these days.
    Two souls meet. I would like to know if there could be more.
    The hat is beautiful.

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  2. It was truly lovely. I watched him as he left and he knelt down to exchange nonsense with a baby in a high chair.

    XO
    WWW

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  3. First time commentator to your blog, and I feel compelled to do so. I would suggest returning to the coffee shop, same time next week, perhaps. He sounds like a really lovely man. At the very least, he could become an additional friend. MaggieB

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  4. I often wonder about pursuing these entrancing little exchanges further. They are so perfect in and of themselves. But I'll think about it.

    XO
    WWW

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    Replies
    1. Can you imagine this every day? Such a soothing soul.

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    2. We should all be out and about and ready for such encounters, do you think?

      XO
      WWW

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  5. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  6. I am sorry to hear about your medical problems and hope that everything will clear up soon. I am also in awe of your ability to strike up conversations with strangers and to get them to open up.

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    1. Thanks Ramana for your concern. I hope we get it sorted soon.

      XO
      WWW

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  7. What a wonderful moment of connection...Now worried about your latest news which I hope turns out to be nothing dreadful...I'm sorry about your 63 year-old friend but understand that decision entirely. Hugs!

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    1. Still in the dark re med stuff a few more tests. Even tho my doc is new to me I feel so confident in his abilities. My last doc not so much.

      I had a text late last night from my friend R and he's in great form, baffling his doc's with how fast he rebounded. I don't expect to hear from C again, his message was wuite final. He is an immensely private man.

      XO
      WWW

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  8. Love the encounter in the coffee-shop WWW. So uplifting and life-affirming. Keep us posted on tests and labs.

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  9. Oh, so sorry you are having more medical probs WWW, and about to lose a friend into the great beyond, too. My husband's brother is on that threshold also, lives in Florida, so out of reasonable reach for us. They aren't close, but it's still disconcerting when a younger sibling goes first.

    I hope your current medical discomfort is something easily dealt with.

    What a lovely meeting you had with the knitting man, experiences such as that are worth twice the value of most medicines! I love the colour of your knitted hat by the way.

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    1. Thanks T. Sorry to hear about brother in law. Never easy losing our history, our shared memories, no matter the closeness. Grief enfolds us with cold hands.

      Yes, I felt renewed with him, felt alive and not half-dead.

      XO
      WWW

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  10. It's great when you have an unexpected connection like that with a complete stranger. I love the hat. I hope you find an answer to the mystery pain. Waking up at 5 am is annoying - I tend to wake up at 5 am anyway!

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    1. Yes, it is. I felt truly grateful. It lifted me from a darkness I wasn't aware I had.

      I don't mind the 5 a.m. business, I love love love watching the dawn come up over Signal Hill.

      XO
      WWW

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  11. Have loved all your knitting WWW and would love your knitted wash cloth. It was a tender, funny scenario of you and the guy feeling fabrics together. You'll probably bump into him again....I hope so. Those moments are too rare. xxxxx

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    1. Rare indeed. I wouldn't mind having a little private knitting club with him. :)

      XO
      WWW

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  12. I hope you get to the bottom of this soon and that it is solvable. I am sorry about the pain.

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