Monday, September 24, 2018

Slump

We all get them, n'est pas?

I was feeling "off" yesterday and a few health issue challenges threw themselves at me. A good reminder of the fallibility of the aging body. I find this was succeeded by floating anxieties which pop over the parapet and remind me of poverty, forgetfulness, who do I think I ams, and a kind of general malaise of why botherism.

Cheer deserts me, every perceived slight is taken to a deeply personal level and scrutinized carefully for even more hidden pinpricks of disdain or contempt.

Are you still with me? Can anyone relate?

I try and counter all this with my daily dose of Tao.

Today it was to scrutinize all the tiny physical things around me and reflect on their origins, transitions and possible 100 year decay far into the future and way beyond my lifetime.

Then I focus on what I see: the glorious sunshine, startling greens, transcendent blues outside my window, my blackboard of writing projects.
What I hear:: silence, the flapping of the flag against the pole outside, the odd birdcall
What I touch: the keyboard now, lastly the knitting of a shawlette that I had to rip out as my pattern didn't work. A gift.
What I smell: some wonderful incense, a healing scent, to lift the spirit.
What I learn: Trying so desperately not to let my new phone (the old one was whimpering and finally died) frustrate and defeat me in a challenging learning curve of swiping, shaking, touching what I shouldn't touch, installing endless apps, promptly forgetting the new system protocols, digging for accounts and passwords and finding I am an inpatient whiny mess after about 15 minutes of this. Not helped at all by losing all historical texts (essential in the case of my friend with dementia challenges) and having wires crossed in my contact list - now sorted.

Living in Tao I am not. Though I try.

22 comments:

  1. I don't know anything about Tao, but I hope it helps you. Try listening to a Bach violin sonata. I can have the worst day, but Bach always elevates my mood.

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    1. Mozart and Beethoven and oddly enough John Field seem to do it for me. But sometimes, bleurgh, nothing helps except to ride it through.

      XO
      WWW

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  2. New phones are frustrating in the extreme. The first time I bought one and asked about a manual, I was told there's no such thing but the best I could do was to sit and "play" with the phone every day for 15 minutes. That helped a lot. I wasn't stressed and pissed off by trying to get anything in particular done, and that made all the difference.

    You can put phone questions into your brownser and find answers and specific instructions to do almost everything you can't figure out yourself or don't want to.

    Also, I have a Samsung now and you can go online to their .com, give them access to your phone, and watch them (on your computer screen) make all the adjustments and fixes that have been driving you crazy. It's pretty cool.

    Sorry if I'm telling you things you already know.

    -Kate

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    1. Mine's an LG6, I'm finally getting the hang of it but am glad for my computer to respond more rapidly to urgency. The new one requires more swipes to get where I want which is annoying. But this old brain is adapting.

      XO
      WWW

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  3. Your initial description of your state so well said. We all have our times, I think. Digital issues every time they “improve” it mostly just create technological problems for me. Wish we could just say, “no thanks” — “leave my device as is”, but the changes they make don’t permit that.

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    1. One of my brothers does this with upgrades and insists on a blackberry adaptation for all new technology. Somehow they manage to do it for him. I hate to think of the cost :)

      XO
      WWW

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  4. Your blackboard of writing projects is very intriguing.

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    1. I should be ecstatic, well today I am, the trouble with my slumps is that they seem like they'll never pass.

      XO
      WWW

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  5. Can identify with everything you said here. Sometimes one just needs to put it all aside for something to quiet the mind - tao, a walk, a talk. My husband still uses his "dumb" phone and me, with 50 years in the tech business, can't even get with doing all the things she should on her new (6 mos now) computer. Life is too short and I don't have the time to mess with the insignificant - better a glass of wine and an old friend!

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    1. Good for you Mary. Yes moving away from the challenge for a while is great. I find knitting soothes me. I think I'm with my phone now, it took a while :) And seriously I love the new battery, I was constantly recharging my old before it died.

      XO
      WWW

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  6. Replies
    1. You know I slept for a long time on Sunday aft and I felt so revived and ready to rip again. Sometimes I think I have the energy of a 40 year old and I'm brought to a grinding halt, forgetting I could just like down and maybe rejuvenate for a while.

      XO
      WWW

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  7. Oh how I understand, crashed a week ago, new medication from ER making me dizzy
    called primary docter, she is out town for a week, trying to stay calm
    children are everywhere but not near me.

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    1. Oh Ernestine, I am so sorry to hear this. Please be gentle with yourself. I am so happy I moved to this independent living centre, so much less to take care of. Actually nothing to take care of, just me. My life has totally opened up again. As long as I remember to rest now and again more than I used to :)

      XO
      WWW

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  8. Glad to know you're over the slump, WWW. We're all roller-coastering, one way or another. Having been on "the ride" for so many years, we come to realise that every up has to be followed by a down, and vice versa; it can feel a bit less traumatic than it once did, yet we have to live in expectation of the next....whatever. :-/

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    1. Reading May Sarton in her declining years is probably not helping my case. I must start reading 2 books at a time again. I hope the brain holds up!

      XO
      WWW

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  9. I try to keep my phone apps to a minimum. There are so few I really need.

    I like the exercise of focusing sequentially on each of the senses. It really works.

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    1. It does, doesn't it SAW? Slows me right down and keeps me in the moment.

      XO
      WWW

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  10. I've always resisted getting a smartphone. I'm sure I'd have the same problems as you, trying to get to grips with all the apps and functions. It was bad enough working out how to use my dumb-phone.

    Floating anxieties are the bane of my existence.

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    1. I think I've finally mastered it Nick. Though it still seems to have far more swipes and hits than I feel are necessary.

      Yes I can relate to those free floating anxiety days, without cause or reason. Rolling with them is much easier now.
      XO
      WWW

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  11. Welcome to the club. You are human. This too shall pass.

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