I had a couple of days of relief but for the past five days it's been back to exhaustion, pain, and this miasma of hopelessness covering everything. I've been nearly a year in isolation and the remaining nerve in my head is jingling and not in a good way. It's tough living alone and making all decisions with regard to health care, ever conscious of mobility challenges and lights at end of tunnel have to be self-instigated or not at all. And I don't have a match.
Sorry to be on such a downer, my lack of energy is dragging me into a dark place. It seems like my entire creative spirt has upped and left. I can't even get my new card put together.
I only whinge to my whinge buddies. On here is just the tip of the iceberg, so to speak. I haven't heard from specialists or have test appointments. I am super pale and a friend (masked) who delivered soup was shocked at my appearance which didn't make me feel better but a whole lot worse. I've lost interest in food, can't get enough sleep and it takes me a good hour to get oriented and kinda moving in the morning.
Okay. Cheery thought..
A huge shock. Grandgirl and her partner are moving here May 1 for three months at least. They can each work remotely. They are moving into a house right here, vacant, and owned by another family member:
To say I am thrilled that she will be living just around the corner from me is understating it. Totally unexpected though Daughter and I dreamed of it but just between the two of us.
So over and out and I plan to try and read blogs today and connect with all you lovelies.
Wow. If you are that pale, then you are definitely anemic. It puzzles me that you can't be admitted to the hospital NOW. Why are you still at home?
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad to hear that your granddaughter will be closer. That much make you feel joyful. Although our kids are only 3 hours away, during the pandemic it might as well have been 3 days away. I wish our kids could live here, but I know that is never going to happen. I have to be happy with that and be glad that granddaughter does FaceTime us almost every day.
ReplyDeleteHope you feel better soon.
As I was reading this I started wondering if you could move in with your daughter to get yourself back to right. Someone who knows you , who knows your energy, your lifestyle and how you would normally feel.
ReplyDeleteTo hear grand girl is moving so close, I hope she is able to do that for you. You need help to get better , someone to advocate for you when you can't.
Normally, you could do it yourself, but this has taken a lot out of the you who is the able person who could normally advocate for yourself.
This isn't whingeing , you need help!
I am with gigi on this hospital NOW!
If you wait for your 2 hour neighbor to call an ambulance, could it be too late?
ReplyDeleteI am so glad to hear that Grand Girl is moving so close.
ReplyDeleteHuge sigh on the rest of it. It is just so exhausting and demoralising. And interminable.
Huge hugs and hopes are flowing your way.
There is always something to look forward to, in this case your granddaughter living nearby. Without being disrespectful, are you really receiving good medical care that looks at your whole situation?
ReplyDeleteBugger! But good news with Grandgirl. Do get well again!
ReplyDeleteHugs!
That picture is stunningly beautiful! I am so pleased you are getting a Grand Girl nearby.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you are going through this. I agree with the others, something is not right. Can you please call your doctors and insist that you must be seen and listened to!
ReplyDeleteI have found that doctors have a bias when it comes to treating older women. So infuriating. Be the squeakiest wheel. I know how exhausting it is, but I know you can do it. Much love.
I think you need to get an ambulance. Tell them you have chest pain, are bleeding from the bowel, anything to get more urgent treatment.
ReplyDeleteAnd I hate people giving unsolicited advice but here I am, doing exactly that....
I'm so sorry to hear the 'new beginning' didn't last long and hope you soon get seen to and hopefully fixed. They can't just keep putting you off, surely?
ReplyDeleteLovely to hear Grandgirl and partner will be living close by, that will be a big comfort to you.
Have just read Kylie's comment. Can you do that? Anything to get help faster has to be good, right?
ReplyDeleteI am some sorry to read this! Maybe I will have to reevaluate my opinion of Canadian health care. Marion has had excellent care through the years, as did my mil. It makes no sense to give you iron for anemia without working fast to find the cause of the anemia! Some years after the experience I told you about, I became anemic again. Didn't take my doctor any time to ascertain that a bleeding ulcer was the cause that time. It is really worrisome that you are at home. I agree with those who say you need to get to a hospital ASAP, using any excuse to do it. I wonder if your daughter couldn't take the helm. Let the docs know that it is HER MOM they are playing with!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear how downcast you are. Good that grandgirl and her partner are going to move nearby and can give you some support and encouragement. I hope you get some action soon re specialists and tests.
ReplyDeleteYes, Kylie's suggestion is worth considering.
The shocking news balanced with the pleasant one of grandgirl moving in close to you makes for very poignant reading. My best wishes as always.
ReplyDeleteI hope the prospect of a young relative living nearby helps with the crushing isolation. And I wish fervently you can get better medical support.
ReplyDeleteOh no, such a reversal and I too think you should be on your way to a hospital for around-the-clock care and supervision. What wonderful news that your grandgirl and her partner will be close by. I live alone but one daughter is three miles away, it's good to know. I hope the next communication from you is that you are vastly improved. All good wishes to you.
ReplyDeleteGreat news about Grandgirl.
ReplyDeleteCrappy news about your health condition. You already know what I think, and I see your other readers are thinking the same.
No one wants to go to the hospital. I have a father who's a living example of that fact. He insists on getting out before he should, then goes downhill within days. He's been home for a week and doesn't seem to be improving. My sister doesn't know what to do anymore. Take him to Emergency for the fifth time? That alone might kill him! He's so damm happy to be home in his own bed, and who can blame him.
But you know best. Or maybe right now, in your condition, Orla does and you are listening to her.
Once you get there, they may give you a blood transfusion and you'll start feeling better very soon.
Just suggestions, of course. We're not there and we don't know what's what. We just care. xoxoxoxo Kate
Oh shoot. Maybe a specialist is in order, or a second opinion?
ReplyDeleteBut yay on the granddaughter moving close for a while!
I'm with Kate who said, "We're not there and we don't know what's what. We just care." I want to put on my mom hat and give you advice, but I'm not in your body or in your healthcare situation. I just care.
ReplyDeleteThat's what I want too! Know we care about you!
DeleteChecking daily....sure you're being attended to in order to get your health back on track so trying not to worry. I'm of the same thoughts Kate and Linda P. feel. I just care. Don't want to be a "haunt" - just want to let you know I'm thinking of you & hoping all goes well. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteAlso checking daily. Hope things are looking up. Hope to hear something soon. Worrying knowing what we know. I care, too.
ReplyDeleteGrandgirl is coming at just the right time for you and she can help. I hope the damn doctors can figure this out and end your suffering. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteHi all
ReplyDeleteFeeling very low, have some more tests lined up for next Tuesday at hospital. Will keep you all posted. Thanks for the love and care!
XO
WWW
Thanks for the quick update! Thinking of you every day. xoxox Kate
DeleteYes, thank you. Good thoughts and healthy wishes from here.
DeleteI was hoping you had commented, updating us. Wishing for an easy time with tests and results that help you resume your life sooner rather than later.
DeleteAlso think of you often. You're taking steps, being proactive, and that is good. So glad family is moving nearby; that will be absolutely wonderful, for all of you.
ReplyDeleteI've been checking daily too. Thanks for the update, WWW. So glad GG and partner will be nearby. We're the nearby family for our ages 80s and 90s parents and so often I think about how good that has been for them, though I don't think all of them "get" it (my mom does, in-laws less so). But I know you will because you are a woman of gratitude, which makes a big difference to family helpers. Hope to hear you're feeling better and embracing daily life again very soon. Kim in PA
ReplyDeleteSending thoughts from here. Just to let you know I care and from what I see here, you have many doing the same. With love.
ReplyDeleteJust a note to say you're in our thoughts. <3
ReplyDeleteChecking in to see how you are doing. Hope the appointment on Tuesday gave you some answers. Thinking of you and sending all good thoughts~
ReplyDeleteHello WWW, I hope your absence here is due to getting long awaited medical attention for your condition. Miss you.
ReplyDeleteHello WWW, I hope your absence here is due to finally getting the medical attention you need! Miss you.
ReplyDeleteHello WWW, I hope your absence here is due to finally getting the medical attention you need! Miss you.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you and hoping so much that your doctors get busy and diagnose what you need! Thank you for updating. Take care~
ReplyDelete