I have this twin. I call her my inner evil twin. She doesn't emerge very often, but when she does, everyone watch out.
Today, my long overdue writing workshops resumed. Due to Covid and its unpredictable rises and falls, I've had to suspend more than I can count. But today, I went ahead. Everyone had advance warning as there was so much ground to cover. And extreme protocols were put in place.
I was up at dawn preparing. That is not procrastination, though I can be an industrial sized procrastinator at times.
I work long hours before workshops as I want it all to be fresh in my mind once it begins.
At the very last minute several cancelled on various pretexts, one was away, one was quitting due to family commitments, another had a sore back, another felt too sad and I can't remember the last one, maybe it was a cold.
As I read the cancelling emails my Evil Twin emerged.
"Why am I wasting my time with this ungrateful group?"
""Don't they realize I have far better things to do with my time?"
" I should cancel every single future workshop and just show them."
Etcetera, etcetera.
But I was able to strangle my ET within minutes of the workshop starting as for the few of us there, it was one of the best ever with regard to sharing hopes and dreams and childhoods and tragedies.
Those who weren't there really really missed out on a very special ninety minutes.
My ET is always, always wrong on her reactions to life.
I need to remember that before I paint myself into a corner with no escape.
I call my evil twin the psycho bitch from hell. Sadly sometimes she is completely right.
ReplyDeleteI am so very pleased that the workshop went well. Perhaps the reduced numbers helped?
It gave the group loads of time to talk and review work, etc. which is great. We are normally constrained time wise.
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Pretty wise words. Never burn your bridges. Perhaps those who did attend were more committed and hence it went so well.
ReplyDeleteExactly Andrew. I am trying not to judge too harshly the excuses offered by the non-attendees.
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I'm glad you sent ET away. Even with one the workshop would have meant something to the participant(s).
ReplyDeleteExactly Joanne, I find I need to squelch ET more times than I care to admit :)
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Funny, I have that same evil twin. So thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteBoy that ET sure gets around, Tom, ready to infect our brains with massive resentments and evil revenge.
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Good for you for triumphing over your Evil Twin. The people that you were meant to reach were there.
ReplyDeleteSo very true Terra, it was so enjoyable and we were all able to sit 10 miles apart and hear each other. :)
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It's always a temptation to cancel things that are low on numbers but it's not always the best response. I'm glad you shoved that twin out of the way.
ReplyDeleteI have twice now tried to arrange a night out with friends and twice had no takers. I am tempted to throw in the towel but maybe one more shot before I take it personally
Even if one shows up Kylie, and we need to be aware that so many are still terrified of the plague. That, for sure, is not going away. I take extreme precautions.
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Glad you didn't allow ET to get the best of you.
ReplyDeleteYes, quite a triumph as she was in such a rage, Joared.
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I'm not sure I have an evil twin, but perhaps the black thoughts I have towards several neighbours belong to her. Surely they can't be my own thoughts? I'm a nice person (*~*)
ReplyDeleteYes you are River and I believe if we are honest we can recognize her in all her forms. She lurks quietly waiting for her moments.
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"My ET is always, always wrong on her reactions to life.
ReplyDeleteI need to remember that before I paint myself into a corner with no escape."
Lordy Lordy, no truer words have ever been spoken. So right. -Kate
I think not having one is the exception to the rule. Or perhaps living in unawareness of her existence?
DeleteThanks Kate.
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I do not have an evil twin. Does an evil Irish twin county?
ReplyDeleteEven though I like the idea of and Evil Twin County in Ireland I think it was a mistype of "count" Susan. :D Irish Twins, as you undoubtedly know, have an entirely different meaning.
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I hear you. I have an ET, too. We all do. Anyway, I am glad that the session went so well.
ReplyDeleteWell, not quite all of us Gigi, I know a few who are not aware she has emerged. :D
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I call mine the Lazy one.
ReplyDeleteGood one! I don't like the word lazy for some reason. I think it a "lazy" word and not fully descriptive of what's actually going on.
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You can never tell if people are giving genuine excuses or they're just pulling out for some reason best known to themselves. Good that despite the absences, you had a very productive workshop.
ReplyDeleteI believe a lot of it has to do with not meeting deadlines and ducking the expectation of work being presented. One has backed of countless times. Even from the one on ones with no expectations from me. None as queer as folk.
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