Bits and pieces take on a life of their own as they age. Everything seems to take forever. Main focus seems to be meals, how to make them or how to pick them up somewhere else or have them delivered. I've suggested a workshop on cooking for singles here in a series of workshops my committee is putting on - well received I should add. Mindfulness, hearing, etc.
Other than that I fill a wee gratitude list every day, the fact I can still drive to wherever I choose - even though choices are limited. Gone are the days I'd drive across the island to the ferry, hop on board with my trusty dog and spend overnight on it and then drive off at the other end in mainland Canada.
I remember writing an article for a now defunct magazine years ago of never being aware when we do something for the last time, though sometimes we are. I remember dropping off my daughter at school, she was around 9, and thinking, that's the last time she'll kiss me in front of her friends outside the school. And sure enough, it was. I never thought my last marathon would be my last, or my last long ferry would be my last. Or the last time I hugged my granny or my mum or my brother.
I believe if we were more aware of this each time something precious and dear happens it would be far more meaningful.
Just the ramblings of an old geezer facing her own mortality square in the face.
My love of books continues:
Two really good reads:
After her close call with death in February, I no longer leave my sister without kissing her goodbye and hugging her. As you've said about "the last time," you just never know. I often say this to Scott too, as he's leaving the yard and doesn't want to take 15 seconds for a goodbye kiss. How easy it is to forget, and how sorry we may be.
ReplyDeleteSo very true, Kate. I give better hugs today. Though aware of being too "mawkish".
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Thank you for the heads up on the books. And oh yes, those last times...
ReplyDeleteI try and tell people how much they mean to me regularly. I think it irritates some, but tough luck. I need to say it. I need to know that they know it.
I often do it with cards in the mail and so do friends of mine. But a good hug is always great. More time with the loved ones too, even though we are tired or busy.
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I have a very long list of unplanned lasts that struck me a bit over a year ago. I never saw them coming. But to stay a bit positive, I've since had some good firsts too.
ReplyDeleteGood firsts are a great reminder Andrew, I tend to forget those and remember the lasts with regrets too often.
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The last time I saw my mum I knew it would be the last. She was no longer able to swallow even coffee, the cancer had reached her throat and after I left to come home she took herself to hospital and my brother found her there and stayed with her as she died just one week later. I had kids and a job to get back to.
ReplyDeleteI am so sad to read this River, how awful for you to know it was the last time. When I hugged my mum for the last time, she broke down so badly I had to keep it together for the sake of my own babies who were with me. The hardest thing I have ever done.
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Yes all those lasts - and some I thought were lasts, that were not. I also tend to forget about the firsts.
ReplyDeleteI had never really thought too much about “last times” but it is so true what you say. I suspect that many last times are already in the rear view mirror. There is a local boy, a bit of a birding whiz kid, who I have known and mentored since he was five. He is now fourteen. When he was young he would fly over to me at great speed the moment he saw me and hug me tight! Those days are gone! I wish I could remember the last time. Stay well. Hugs - David
ReplyDeleteA song by Tennille Townes (Alberta singer/songwriter) - The Last Time.
ReplyDeleteThis has been hitting home to me too as I watch Spring unfold and wonder how many more I will see. And yet, I still plant fruit trees and perennials.
DeleteEmma: I found the wayback archive, or internet archive. They have lots of FREE audio books, such as the complete (70 books I believe) of All Creatures Great and Small. Quiet, sweet, charming, thoughtfull and so overlooked. Alf Wight was a fabulous writer: Christopher Timothy an incomparable narrator with a velvet voice.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with you that we can never know when will be the last time for anything. It's why I never want to have regrets about not having called, visited or written someone similar to what I recently posted about when my 95-year old friend passed. I miss her, but know we always kept in touch and played Scrabble weekly dependent on her health.
ReplyDeleteI, too, loved Fresh Water for Flowers. I had a love like the one featured in the story which made it feel movingly personal, and it brought tears to my eyes. And I, too, have one of those "last times" memories, of my then-12-year-old son reaching for my hand in a strange city, after a longish lag from the last time, and thinking it would be the last time he'd do it. It was. But it's a very, very sweet memory. You are a wonderful writer, evoking experiences we have in some way shared!
ReplyDeleteYour reflections carry such quiet wisdom—those little moments do grow into the biggest memories. I hope your cooking workshop brings some joy and connection. Thank you for sharing this. Just shared a new post. Check it out. Thank you.
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