A month slid out from under me. These things happen. I am miserly with my energy these days. I need it for the things of life which would be but a blink in the old days but now take up a fair bit of time. A lot has happened, it always does. And stuff I should be doing must do gets shovelled out of the way "for now" and stuff I have positively no interest in doing but get sucked into, gets half-heartedly started and abandoned. Time wasting. Unforgiveable when one gets to my massive age. Old habits die hard.
But I got myself a new computer, a swish, sparkling white, 27" screen beauty with a matching keyboard. And oh the difference. My old one, which owed me nothing, had a fading, uncertain screen, which nearly made me blind but in the habit of my people, I clung to her, praying she would collapse and die and alleviate guilt in getting a new shiny effort, well she didn't. Die completely. But I bit the bullet. And voila! Only thrilled. And wondering why I didn't do it sooner. I had set the money aside for such a purchase.
Meanwhile I struggled with a task I offered to assist a friend with. God knows why. She has abused our "friendship" in the past and does not respect the work I do but demands more and more (unpaid). I wrestled with my own people pleasing personality in an effort to disentangle myself from the mess she I had created which boiled down to the fact that I did not need her as a "friend" and my brain busied itself with how I would bail out. For good. And I should mention also, I was her counsellor in all sorts of messes she put herself in. And then I landed, after a few days of much too much mulling, on the excuse of "lack of energy" which is the truth. I do not have energy for her vampire sucking. And I do not have to be specific. But gently let her slide off into a state of 'be well and prosper' without me. Phew. Done and dusted.
Meanwhile, my indoor garden cheers me no end. It lifts my spirits every single day.
And I will get on with the stuff that pleases me now. More on that later.
Well done. Very well done. On all counts.
ReplyDeleteThank you my dear friend. It takes me a while sometimes!
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I noted your blog title, The other side of 80. Me too. I don't see a "follow blog" button but stopped to say hi. Vampire friends can be healthy for us to disentangle ourselves from. Our energy has limits. Be well.
ReplyDeleteYes, very true on those vampire friends teaching us lessons on being careful where we thrown our energy and talents. I don't know how to install that follow button but I must check it out!
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Well done. New computers are taxing, but rewarding, the same can be said of letting vampire 'friends' go. I hope you 'pop up' a bit now. Indoor garden, what a grand idea.
ReplyDeleteYes, it will be easier now to pay more attention to my beloved blog world. She sucked me dry.
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27" screen!! I am green!!
ReplyDeleteShe's a gorgeous piece of equipment. Daughter saw it and said "I have to have one" I think that's going to be the reaction from all who see her.
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Your new computer sounds divine! I got a new one too, but it has an even smaller screen than my old one.
ReplyDeleteVery wise to disentangle from that "friend'. I have had a few like that over the years. Now I recognize the signs early and beat a retreat!
I'm slow on the uptake at times Sue, but when I took the time to mull I thought of all the times she had gaslit me. For example, I knit her an Aran cushion once and the only reaction I got was "when are you going to knit me an Aran sweater?" It took me far too long to see the light with her.
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Good for you! For both the new screen and the energy-sucking "friend".
ReplyDeleteThank you Jean, I feel quite relieved I can break this tie with her. She'll go away when she realizes I'm done with all the freebies.
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Similar happened to us with our stick vacuum cleaner when it came time to buy a second replacement battery. The new one was just so much better. 2.5cm to an inch, I think my screen is 23 inches, but it is very much a letterbox shape, and it is old. I'm glad you are enjoying your new machine.
ReplyDeleteYes, sometimes you just have to say, I can't do this anymore, and I'm not.
My brother did it with an old coffee machine that leaked all over his counter and I was in his garage and saw a new coffee maker on a shelf in its original box and said where did that come from? And he said our sister had gifted it to him a year ago. Thing was "there was still life in the old one". I get it. Completely.
DeleteWe need to treat ourselves a little better.
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Your indoor garden is just gorgeous.
ReplyDeleteIt's good to get rid of a vampire but I understand it can take a lot of processing to realise that we can do without them.
Well done.
And being older with less and less friends (vanished into the Great Beyond) it becomes more stressful to make these decisions, I find.
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I'm glad you were able to let go of the "friend" and the old computer too.
ReplyDeleteMe too River, her needs were endless. And exhausting.
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I think I'm like you and have avoided little jobs again, so I have today made a list and now must do something, because I like crossing off items, I start with the easy ones.. 'straighten books on coffee table!' Good I can cross that off my list!
ReplyDeleteOMG, I laughed at this. I write down all the little jobs so I can be smug faced as I tick them off. The books and cards on my table need sorting today.
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Every time I have had a new computer I am astounded at the advances since the last one. Monitor size is just one of them. And I remember when the processor was contained in a huge tower. Now it’s a little box that sits on my desk. Amazing technology, but a little scary, too. Keep on truckin’. All the best - David
ReplyDeleteMine is an "all in one" David as was my last so no clutter of separate boxes. I do remember my first home office PC which cost a fortune ($2500) close to 30 years ago. The size of the monitor alone!!! And the CPU on its own little shelf. How long it took to load up. Breathtaking advances.
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I'm on the other side of 80, too, and had my first ambulance ride a couple of weeks ago. Heart. All better now, and I'm trying to lay down the law about what I will not do any longer. Cooking more than I want to, for example. It's difficult. It's past time to take ourselves into account.
ReplyDeleteSo very true Diane. My daughter said to me recently:"Mum, you're 82, now is the time to tell people "eff off" and mean it."
DeleteIt applies to everything, doesn't it. And we're old enough to get away with it. Wear the lovely knickers and buy ourselves some flowers season is upon us.
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Oh wow this post hits home. At 78 I have found my energy level really dropping, and my tolerance for people of certain political persuasions ended. I want peace in my life with a few select like-minded friends and a home I enjoy. I too love to garden, and I have a fair size yard to work in which I enjoy. I also feed my birds and squirrels every day and there’s a lot of wildlife where I live and a small herd of cows right behind me, so I’m in heaven. The only thing missing is I would love a cat, but I’m too old and I have no one that would take her if I were to die. Life is too short to have aggravating people in your life. Your plants look beautiful.Mary
ReplyDeleteIt can be challenging to extract from those who bring us down rather than lift us up but I like what you say about peaceful. Do I feel peaceful around....? I would love a dog but for many reasons I can't. So acceptance of the limitations. But I live in a place close to the ocean with a lake in front of where I live and the most glorious gardens around me. As my daughter says : We live in a postcard. And we do. Thanks for the comment on my wee garden.
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I wish I could get a new computer, and mine isn't even that old. I just love all the advances, even in a few years. I saw a pale pink one from Apple (which I would never buy; I only use Dells) but it was so gorgeous and streamlined and over the top; also, the monitor was huge. Who doesn't love a huge monitor? If I had an extra few thousand dollars to throw around I would have gotten it.
ReplyDeleteI got a good deal on mine Elle. Once you look around, all sorts of bargains but I always check the reviews too. And am lucky that there is small tech shop near me that does a great set up and file and data transfer. I can't get over the huge monitor. And the brightness of the screen. This is a HP but Lenovo put out excellent all in ones too.
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