It's hard to maintain a balance in life, especially once we get older. I believe, also, that the advancing years can make us more impatient, more immediate in demands, more hurt by invisibility and lonelier as dear ones die.
I remember being at a gathering many years ago where we were asked individually what troubles we carried into the room. And we all got very honest and shared exactly what we were worried or grieved or in grief about.
And at the end of the evening we were all asked what troubles we would exchange with anyone else in that big room. And the answers were we would prefer to keep our own, thank you very much. Incredibly revealing.
It reminds me also of our human habit of comparing our insides to someone else's outsides. "They look happy all the time, what not me?" being a classic. Many project happiness and carry sorrow within. I know I've done it.
I remember this jolly older man, always joking, a little flirty and one time he shared with me that all three of his sons had committed suicide over the past 10 years. Yet there he was, doing his best, getting on with it and probably crying into his pillow at night. Books and covers come to mind and speaking of......
I'm reading this wonderful biography of an actor I've always admired. And he is a classic example of being wretched for years and wearing a sense of uselessness and stupidity (reinforced by his father) and letting that define his persona. How he surmounts many challenges is inspiring.
I took this photo out my living room window tonight. the white bit at the top of the pictures is an overhang of snow from the roof above, dangling like a canopy.
And finally a pic of my supper, one I make frequently as it is so easy. A tortilla in a pie plate, throw in 3 eggs and some cottage cheese, whisk, add layer of spinach leaves and chopped red pepper, cover in shredded cheese (I use parmesan) and bake in preheated oven 425 degrees for 20-ish minutes, depending on the cottage cheese amount. Does me two meals. It reheats well in the oven. Micro would make it too wimpy.
So there you go.
I suddenly feel useful.
I could look at that top photo endlessly. So compelling.
ReplyDeleteYour tortilla omelette (?) is something I will try. Last time I made something that sounds similar, the tortilla burnt on the bottom. I couldnt eat it but Emil did! Next time I'll use a lower heat than the recipe called for.
Life sure has its hard parts. Not the recipe failures lol but the suffering and frightening and losing and lonely parts.
-Kate
Whatever we grieve about? I lost my beloved parents, son and brother, plus was locked down for 3 years of Covid.
ReplyDeleteBooks, music and blogging make life productive, but only the grandchildren make life truly worthwhile.
My sister has a range of autoimmune disorders and I have a neuro-muscular disorder. We both think the other's would be much worse, which I think says that we develop strategies for whatever it is that grieves or ails us and can't imagine thinking up a whole new range of strategies.
ReplyDeleteI have seen that easy quiche done on instagram, it's such a great idea.
Cooking your own food is a step ahead of me. I suppose I would do some cooking for myself if the lads weren't here. I always knew I was spoilt by Ray's terrific cooking.
ReplyDeleteYou really would wonder where you went wrong when three sons suicide. Some parents even wonder where they went wrong when they have gay children, lol. It would not be unknown for the two matters to be connected.
I would add bacon or chorizo to your recipe.
We get used to and invent strategies to work around that which ails us. I don't know if I'd exchange my ailments for someone else's ... maybe I'd like to try ... I'd prefer something stable, not changing all the time ... and one tging only, please. Right now I think that as soon as one thing is getting a bit better, the next one pops up, eternally chasing one another.
ReplyDeleteI like your torlilla-thingy. I make something similar - minus the cheese.
I frequently do two eggs and cheese with finely sliced spring onion and then scramble it. No oven, no spinach, no tortilla. Easy-peasy.
ReplyDeleteI once had my father tell me I was fat and stupid when I visited him in hospital a week before he died. I stewed on that for a year or so, then got to thinking neither parent had ever taught me any kind of life skills, yet I had been married then divorced, had four children all healthy (and smart) and I was working, earning money to put food on the table. I wasn't stupid! I'd learned all that, plus budgeting to never be in debt, on my own.
Comparisons can only lead to situations such as you described. We can never know from the exterior what is going on within a person.
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