I titled this post appropriately. Because honestly? Even through the worst of times we can seek out the little things that make life a journey of gratitude if we seek out the slivers like slashes of sunshine seeping into a cloudy day. Always look for them. They are there.
I remember hosting a dear friend who was older than me, who stayed with me at my lovely home around the bay. She brought her daughter with her. Her only child who was approximately fifty to her seventy-five. What blew me away was the tenderness exhibited by her daughter towards her mother. Daughter treated her like a precious jewel without being nauseatingly solicitous or patronizing in any way. I thought to myself - oh to have such a relationship with my own daughter.
Moving on approximately fifteen years. And here I am facing many health challenges and my daughter has quietly stepped up to the plate and she is exactly the same as Shirley, the daughter of my dear friend, Laura, who passed away a few years ago in her eighties. Daughter is with me through all the tests, the lab work, the X-rays, the consults. Asking questions, reporting symptoms I have forgotten or thought inconsequential. Officially, there is no real prognosis apart from an enlarged heart and some shadowy bits on lungs, which could be congestion, but no one, has as yet,identified, as my internist is unexpectedly away and moved my appointment to May 22nd.
Meanwhile, true friends have stepped up to the plate and check-in and remind me to reach out for help any time of day or night. Support by digital means from afar is never, ever taken for granted, either.
All in all, it remains up to me to reach out to others (always a challenge for me - eldest of 6 and the one in charge, so asking for help is an alien concept.
After a day fraught with challenges, Daughter drove us up in the wind and sun to Signal Hill and this sky just captivated me.
Gorgeous, isn't it?
You can also see the whitecaps which were far and wide on the windy sea and I couldn't capture a wandering iceberg on the far left of this photo.
What are your slivers?
The wind out here is still bite-y but the bird life!! Delights me so, especially at this time of year.
ReplyDeleteHope yr health questions are soon answered and all will be well.
-Kate
Bird life is wonderful Kate. Beginning of nesting season and the males fighting like mad outside my window tonight. It's always the little things offering the most joy.
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My health. And for the learned ability to just be. Grateful for having enough.
ReplyDeleteBeing is so much more important than doing, ain't. Thanks for the reminder.
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I love the colour of the sky and the ocean looks nearly as blue.
ReplyDeleteThe blues can be quite breathtaking here. And we need more of those moments of appreciation.
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That sky is very beautiful. I am not good about offering long distance support, I am so far away all I can do is wishes for things to be well or get better. I can also be happy that you have good people around you to offer and give real support in real time.
ReplyDeleteThank you River, I love all my blog friends, no matter how little the one on one contact. We are all passionate about this form of communication.
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It is very encouraging that your daughter has become such a help and a great companion. My own daughter, my only child, lives a five-hour drive away, so is unlikely to fill such a role whenever the need presents itself. Such is life! Very best wishes - David
ReplyDeleteMy daughter lived far away, too, David, and much to my astonishment, moved here permanently about 12 years ago. You just never know. I was delighted, of course. She secured a good job here too and loves her life by the ocean. Never say never as we say!
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I am in the same boat as David: my children are far away and also unlikely to be able to fill such a role. You are blessed, truly, both with your daughter and friends. I would love to move closer to my kids, but unfortunately they both live on the East Coast, which is no longer w/in my means. I think it is very easy for me to feel sorry for myself and just lonely. But they are happy and thriving in their new homes, and I am grateful for that.
ReplyDeleteWe just never know, as I said to David, Elle. Life is always full of surprises. My daughter and I had some difficult years so this presence and attention in my life is just wonderful and frankly, I never, ever, had anticipated it. Much less, her moving here. I need to tackle my own occasional loneliness as I have lost most of my friends and solid support in the last 10 years or so. A rough time. I can be a complete hermit/introvert given free reign. I need to correct that.
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I am glad you are being so well looked after. I'm not at all sure i have been as good to my mum.
ReplyDeleteMy slivers right now? My wee dog and dying birthday flowers. They're not really pretty now but they tell me I'm loved
Even a dying flower has some beauty, Kylie, sometimes it's just the leaves or the baby's breath surrounding it which lasts longer for some reason. I do NOT enjoy my dogless life. So a dog is a blessing which I miss.
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Ugh...challenges. We once knew just how to approach them, deal with them, move on. Now, it takes more time to think, to strategize, to do than it did 30 years ago when we just DID. I want the energy and vitality of my 40s. Is that too much to ask for?
ReplyDeleteAgreed DKZ, I often tell people "adapt" is the big word of old age. Getting used to the longer times and the careful planning of energy use. It's a huge learning curve. I miss my 100 miles an hour self sometimes. You do an amazing job with your husband so compromised with illness. Well done.
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