Physical Changes
One of the greatest optical illusions of all time. What do you see here, an old woman or a young woman?
I don't think much about the physical appearance changes until I see an old photo of myself. I have a daughter pushing 60 next birthday and she recently sent me a shot of herself at 15 with someone really beautiful hugging her. And I blinked, who was that woman with her? On closer look, it turned out to be me!! I wasn't much older than my granddaughter when it was taken, which was another shake to the head, as I was young when I had my children. Don't get me wrong, I never thought I was beautiful, attractive, yes, but I never believed anyone when they said I was beautiful. Does it take age, looking back, to see what we never saw in ourselves? What a shame!
HAIR
There are a whole slew of changes as we age. I never colour my hair, I just let it go the way of all old people. I'd like mine to be white but no, I'm a piebald pony. Many colours under the sun on my head. The biggest shock is to see it thin out. I had enough hair for two heads - as my aunts would say - but now I probably have enough for 1/2 a head spread out. My maternal grandfather had a full head of black hair when he died in his eighties. Out of my four brothers, only one has that glorious hair, and he'll be 80 this year. The rest have balded like our father. And new hair on the face for us women - chin, neck. I find a razor periodically takes care of that for me but others shave every day. Or get electrolysis. Other hair on my body vanished for me which others find weird when I share it.
TUMMY AND ASSORTED HANGING BITS
Gee, the changes can be classified as DROOPS. Everything goes south, right? Even for the men (I mentioned 4 brothers, we all over-share with each other). I was a road racer/runner so I was tightened up quite a bit. All that stuff has migrated now (though perky was NEVER my appearance) and it has taken some adjustment, most notably in the underwear purchases. Sports bras are now the norm. Begone to the high on the hips panties. The chin I can do nothing about and I did notice my upper lids hang lower too.
NAILS
They break more easily. Toenails thicken. I was never a polish-polly either. Au naturel is me. But I've been having a podiatrist take care of my toenails since I was in my late forties. Essential for a runner, even more now for an aging senior with health challenges. I completely recommend to all.
MOBILITY
Most of you know I had a bad fall on the ice about 10 years ago which completely changed my life. Wound up in an ambulance with a concussion and a serious, lingering problem with my spine. The latest X-rays are not the best. And I've had all the usual, physical therapy, etc. Sleeping with a heating pad has helped a bit. But I've had very rough days with the wheelchair and then some days where I can manage without the cane. All very unpredictable, and I try not to get obsessed with it. Take each day as it comes. If I'm very ill - which I was for about 3 months this year - it affects my back as well so I become fairly crippled. And the pain is always there, even though I am on heavy-duty painkillers, which I monitor closely. I don't wish to zombie myself as I have seen some seniors do. No judgment at all, pain is unique in its affliction.
SURGERY
Several friends have had various tightenings and tuckings. Apparently, if they are to be believed, it becomes an addiction. Do one part, you see the defects in others. One friend is becoming more and more unrecognizable. Apart from the financial weight (it's all terribly expensive) I don't see the benefit unless the self-esteem is low. My jury is still out. Admittedly, I can be horrified by the Mar-A-Lago faces on celebrities and female politicians. I think of them lying under the surgeon's knife and the recovery - my friends tell me it's all worth it though. And, I believe, some have gone horribly wrong.
SUMMARY
My motto would be that self-acceptance is a wonderful thing if we could all work on that. I have found, at my advanced age, that men can still be attracted to females for their personalities. And speaking for myself, I was never, ever, attracted to men who placed appearance at the top of their laundry lists. Amazing how handsome a man (or woman) can appear when (s)he is interested and interesting. The importance of appearance can be thrown out the window.
Wonderful posts re: aging. I'm 68, have MS, and can relate to so much of this as I feel like I'm aging too early! Every category speaks to me. But no surgeries to achieve an anti-aging facade for me. I've enjoyed your posts for years; am just not much of a a commenter. However, I know deep down it's important to help build community and reach out. Thank you for your wonderful writing, sharing, and honesty. I value every bit. Kim in PA (USA)
ReplyDeleteAging takes things from us. I get upset for a bit but then carry on, as you do.
ReplyDeleteOne man I was quite in love with was unhappy with his appearance but because I felt so cared for, I always said I'd think he was marvellous even if he had two heads. Attraction is multifaceted
It sure does Kylie. But most older men (many are widowers/divorced) are incredibly self-interested. My close male friends (platonic) are all stardust, unfortunately. I have one here who is different in that he is interested in others. The rest - even given quite a chance - are boring, full of complaints. Believe me I have tried. The partnered women are also very unhappy. I wonder about that.
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Hi Kim My daughter has MS, another unpredictable condition. I was reading recently that introverted seniors can be forgotten in the rush to get community and find activities and all the stuff that's dished out to us in the efforts to make us more social. I was never one of those kinds of people. My independent senior-living building here is packed with bingo, cards, jigsaw puzzle aficionados, darts, none of which appeal to me. I've tried introducing theatre (short plays), variety evenings, to no avail. Even a craft club was of no interest though there are several writers and artists in the building.
ReplyDeleteBut I have to say I love my own company, so there's that.
Thanks for your comments - always a pleasure hearing from you.
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I had beautiful white flawless skin when I was young. It was a terrible mistake to use tanning beds, off and and on for years. I can deal with most ageing issues, but the deterioration of my skin is the one that troubles me the most. I hasten to add, not the sagging or wrinkling of skin but the growths and itchy spots that come and go, along with its thinness that damages so easily.
ReplyDeleteIf it isn't clear, my skin is sagging and wrinkling, but that doesn't worry me so much.
DeleteI came early off the tanning trap as my mother died, young, of malignant melanoma. She was a sun worshipper. So my skin, unusually, is very good. Sorry to hear you were trapped in that illusion of the golden skin era. Many of my friends were and you're right, the skin doesn't like it. At all. But your personality more than makes up for the skin problems I am certain.
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Just this morning as I worked around the kitchen I said to myself: I'm just going to have to deal with things that may happen to me as I age, things that I never expected, and that's that for that. It was like a missing piece of a puzzle set itself into place -- realization and acceptance. Now I need to build my courage. -Kate
ReplyDeletePS my once-or-twice-a-year "Surprise!" chin-whisker never returned after I started taking a capsule of turmeric daily. I think that was about 5 years ago.
Adaptation is the key, Kate. Difficult some days when the body will NOT cooperate. Sleep is my challenge; I get so little now, and I used to be a marvellous sleeper. I've tried everything, but meds will not prescribe sleeping pills, unfortunately. Because of all the other stuff I'm on, interacting. Most oldies are on them. Well done on the chin-whisker, mine are wispy and invisible (so I'm told), but I rake them over with my little razor. Courage can be elusive on the rough days.
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Do you manage not to be cranky when you don't get enough sleep? That would be tough. The minute I feel irritable or even a bit down, I know I need a snooze. -Kate
DeleteI have the acceptance, and still have mobility and hair, but if I had the $$$ I would have the sagging belly reduced by half, just enough so it doesn't hang with skin-on-skin to get all sweaty with the accompanying rashes in summer. Boobs ditto. Really all we can do is just keep on keeping on and be glad we are still above ground.
ReplyDeleteTempting alright River, but going under the knife has never appealed to me. My abdomen was destroyed some years back with an emergency surgery and I kinda got used to it. But I hear you on the sweats and rash. Unpleasant. Re the boobs, sports bras are the best.
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I have the sports bras, but the straps are stretchy which allows the weight of the breast to sag. In my opinion all bra straps should not be stretchy and there are cotton bras available but not within my budget. I may have to try the ones with rigid cups.
DeleteIs there really such a thing as a comfortable bra that actually holds our boobs in place too? I'll believe it when I see it. -Kate
DeleteThis is such an accurate list. For me, I think my weight is my biggest bugaboo. In my early 60s, with Hashimoto's, I find it impossible to lose weight, especially while still working that involves sitting at a desk. I always thought I was heavy; when I look back at pictures of me young, I am aghast that thought ever entered my mind. I was in such good shape! Now, a bit pudgy. We truly don't appreciate ourselves when we're young.
ReplyDeleteWe truly don't Elle, I was so shocked, not at my appearance in that old photo but the fact I never knew it at the time. Pudgy seems to be the standard for us oldies. I think I'd prefer it to being too thin. It's like the old saw, we're never happy with ourselves, always looking for the imperfections.
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My hair took flight many years ago, so I don’t have to worry about that. Mostly, I just accept growing old, but the fact that I have no ailments connected to aging may play a factor in that. I am still in demand as a speaker and as a leader of nature walks, so I have constant stimulation and I am sure that is a major component for me. Stay well and stay away from floor length mirrors! All the best - David
ReplyDeleteYes, I agree David. Being free of health challenges is a bonus to anyone's life. I enjoy giving my writing groups and giving the odd speaker performance too on different topics. Engaging that was is very stimulating, especially the questions from the audience. I am thinking of giving a series on aging based on my blog series. Once I get the book I've been given to edit out of the way. I do keep busy as well which helps. But not overly so. 😊
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This was a very accurate post of some of the side effects of aging. I am with you on having a podiatrist trim thickened toenails and have been going to one for the past year. Oddly enough it’s Medicare covered as long as the appointments are 10 weeks apart. The sagging bits are a reality here as well, as are legs that stiffen up after sitting too long. I walk daily in keeping with the “motion is lotion” theory. My hair was prematurely gray in my 30s and that’s when I decided to color it and continue now with the only difference being my husband is my colorist. It’s my sole nod to vanity. And, yes to sports bras which are also less costly.
ReplyDeletePodiatry is not covered here, Beatrice and I view it as essential (and preventive). Annoying. To each her/his own on the little vanities we all have. Whatever makes you feel good. I have a thing about co-ordinating my clothes and also my PJs. Matchy-matchy.
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