The Processor

I'm talking my brain. I've always read quickly but I think I need to slow down. I grab words with the eyes, think about them for a while, realize they don't make sense and go back and re-read again and think: whoa Nelly!

The other day my eyes grabbed: "Decorating Engineers" off a page.

And there was a wonderful few seconds when I thought: What a great idea, they're usually so dull and drab looking, we could up the ante here and throw on some sparkly bits, hang some loud earrings, dye their hair purple, hang a tambourine off an arm, maybe some lovely tap-dancing shoes.

Then I evacuated the reverie and re-read the bit: "Designating engineers". Ah, sad. But hey! my brain going off in unexpected directions can be delightful.

Ear worms now take longer to leave me. I had two days solid of "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life". This will be my funeral dirge. A kind of vengeance on those in attendance. Give them all an ear worm for a couple of days. Remember me!

Caution: Ear worm alert: Play this at your peril.

Stund

Yes, the word stund is a real word out here on the Edge. A Newfoundland word. It is exactly as it sounds. Usually applied to a person. Spelt just like that. A half-wit. Stupid. Moronic.

I was out with my good friend last night. A long drive back and forth to St. John's about 100k from here. A trek. But I was driven and that is so lovely. I must have racked up in my lifetime over 1,000,000 miles of my own driving. I do love driving so that's a bonus, but even more so nowadays I love being driven.

We're chatting in the way of good friends, when out of the blue I said to him:

"When is Daylight Savings Time? Shouldn't we have had it by now?"

Long silence.

"You're joking, right kid?"

"No, shouldn't we have had it in May?"

"Are you stund?"

"Wha?"

"We had it in March, b'y. Are you thinking of Solstice on the 21st of June?"

"Yeah, yeah, that's right. Of course." And I changed the topic.

But you know? I'd been harbouring that thought for a while, why on earth didn't we have DST in 2015 so far? But naturally not sharing it. Because. Well, I don't know. Stund. But I trust him enough to share my newfound dementia.

So Daughter was over today and I finally blurted it out to her. And we sat there staring at each other.

"Oh, my gawd," sez Daughter, snapping her fingers, "I've got it".

"What, what?"

"That was the time of your concussion!"

"Shyte. Yes!" Relief, oh, the flood of relief.

And then we talked about what an extraordinary organ the brain is. How some files get damaged after a blow to the head or spine and recover or just get deleted. I wonder what else is missing from my internal files.

But something I can't answer is: who adjusted all the clocks in my house to the new time? AND my car.

Something in my head was on autopilot. And that's pretty amazing too, when you think about it.