I am grateful I have survived this long. Life isn't always a bowl of cherries and certain times of the year are worse than others for most of us.
I was thinking back on pivotal moments. The ones that changed everything.
I've had a few directional shifts in my life. Emigrating to Canada. Semi-retiring to Newfoundland. Recovering from alcoholism. To name but a few. And children. Bearing and rearing of same are enormous pivotal moments.
I have very little regrets, if any. I can't think of one offhand apart from wishing I'd been kinder, less defensive. We use the tools, often faulty, that we're brought up with, and frankly I should have abandoned mine much sooner. But I can't preordain the speed and direction of my own personal and spiritual growth.
I can't understand you if I can't understand myself.
I'm shocked by people who put an end to their learning. One said to me recently: I hate new words, I hate learning things. I've had enough. And she's 8 years younger than I.
And here I am wading through a book about Burma and designing a book cover for a daytimer. How? I ask myself. How can we abandon being curious, being creative, being a scholar?
So as I age I find fewer to discuss ideas with. I find, on the whole, talk is reduced to gossip and medications: yours, mine, ours.
But I have a cherished few. And the Young One. Grateful for that I am.
Grateful for Daughter who sees me right each and every time in ways I can't even count.
Grateful for the one sibling who checks up on me with frequency and concern. One out of 5 ain't bad.
Grateful for dear friends who are there, always, with love and open hearts.
Grateful for this one wild and precious life.
