Friday, May 11, 2012
Grumpy Geezer Gripes
Is it just old geezer me but do ordinary everyday table manners seem to have collapsed on the side of the road somewhere and died?
Or am I such an old fuddy duddy that I am attaching significance to something that is no longer of any importance to anyone but me?
Did high speed multi-tasking living just throw common courtesy under a bus?
And no, I'm not talking out of control children spitting up on strangers' tables in high class restaurants.
I'm talking about my generation.
Talking with your mouth full. Yeah, I see that all the time amongst my friends. Hello? I do not want to see the semi-masticated contents of your mouth. Ever.
Eating your dinner once it is put in front of you without waiting for anyone else. So you are finished way ahead of everyone else and usually drumming your fingers on the table or, even worse, fishing off someone else's half-finished plate.
And if you're hosting a meal at your place, jumping up and answering your phone (while still chowing down) while your guests try and make small talk over the din.
Hitting your teeth with your cutlery while shovelling in. To me this is like chalk on blackboard.
Not using cutlery. Yeah, total finger eating which necessitates lots of used napkins piled up around the table. Not to mention the slurps and sucking sounds. And mixed drool on chin.
Hoovering through the well laid out platters on the host`s sideboard two or three times while assuring us all “you eat like a bird, whither this weight gain?”
Texting while having a meal with friends. Usually with hands under the table thinking you are being surreptitious and clever. No, you're not.
I was always under the impression that table manners were all about respect. For myself and others. And as there is so little respect in any walk of life - politics, religion - or to put them more succintly, the theomegacorporatocracy - couldn't we all just start off with respect around the table again?