What's this about?
I find myself getting overly explanatory lately. In that irritating way of some seniors and elders of my experience.
Making an appointment at the car dealership and they change it by about two hours and I start in on how busy my day is. Not in an aggravated or aggressive or annoyed kind of way or anything. Nicely. Going through the entire day until I hear myself and think, sweet Maude, my grandmother would do this, my elderly aunts would do this, other elders of my acquaintance would do this. Usually people who lived alone. So I stopped and coughed and said to the patient lady:
“Oh, who cares, I'll shuffle things around, no problem”
And I got to thinking, why do I do this? Is it to make my life valuable now that I am older as in:
(1) See how important I am (to strangers, yet),
(2) I may be old but you can't shove me around, lady,
(3) I am so busy, listen to the list of all I have to do.
(4) I matter.
Who am I trying to convince? It's hard to admit it but of course it's myself. And half the battle of changing or eliminating any negative trait is the awareness of it. Right?