Thursday, July 05, 2012

Living Like a Grownup


{Working on a baby blanket for the first grandchild of a dear friend}

Do you ever feel like that?

I'll tell you when I feel like that.

When I always make my bed in the morning.

When I actually get dressed in the morning rather than entertain in my PJs all day (don't be talkin' - Murphy's Law 283 when I'm in my PJs, the world is at my door ready for tea and chat).

When for a whole week you could just about eat off my kitchen counters.

When I am balanced: a little time for knitting, same for writing, same for the bill-paying jobs, time for walking, time for meditation. Making the time. Not over the edge into a book all day because it's so damn good or watching 8 episodes of House in a row while slackmouthed on the couch.

When there is time for unexpected encounters on the shore as I walk the dog. Where I'm not frazzled thinking of the work that awaits me.

I think we lose a lot when good elder modelling is not available to us. My mother died too young to show me how sixty-mumbles live. I wasn't around my aunts much as they aged.

But I've discovered, rather late in life, that when the outside of me is balanced and fulfilling, then the rest of me is too. I'm not caught with my knickers down so to speak, but am prepared for any eventuality with a smile.

And how peaceful is that?

23 comments:

  1. I think the problem is not so much getting everything balanced as taking everything as it comes and not being phased when your meticulous plans for the day fall to bits because something unexpected happens - like the world arriving at your door.

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  2. In recent years, I have learned to switch off unexpected hassle or stress when it stalks me. I let it pass above my head and stay calm. It has certainly reduced episodes of angina.

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  3. Oh yeah, those are all such adult things but how often do you do them??? My mom passed at 59 so I didn't get to see her live out her 60's, 70's and what would be her 80's now. I still work so my life has a routine to it and I'm very adult. But when on vacation, it is hard to remain that adult. I just might read a book all day or watch all 8 episodes of House. And not get dressed .. feels good. :))

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  4. The blanket is gorgeous 8-))

    Be careful what you wish for, I had a mother and grandmother to model elder behaviour for me, it always scared me that I could never live up to that. I am secretly relieved that they are not around now to see how poorly I do.

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  5. Both my mother and grandmother were very 'grown up' and never sat slacked jawed on the sofa. I am glad that I am sometimes able to and don't alays have that sense of duty.

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  6. As an obsessive-compulsive by nature and training, I hear you. If it's not neat and orderly, I get antsy(think "The Odd Couple"), but within that framework, once I get my ducks in a row, I can easily watch a good mystery from episode one to twenty-two, or read a whole book, at the end of the day. But writing usually trumps bed-making(the bed's in the other room; out of sight, out of mind).

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  7. That sounds pretty peaceful to me and I would gladly exchange my current situation with you any day. Except that I can, in our culture lounge around in my lungi and singlet at home even if visitors drop in! And I shall shortly hit the Biblical three score and ten!

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  8. You sound to be on a nice even roll, WWW!

    Mother, her mother, her sister and some of Dad's sisters were around into their 80s and even in some cases 90s. They all worked much harder during their lives than I've ever had to.

    I wonder whether, given reasonable health, the trick is to never give numbers power over who you are, or could be.

    Re: making the bed. "Tidy it and allow it to air" is my motto, unless leaving home for several days, then it should be neatly "made".
    ;-)

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  9. Well, I have 15 or so years on you, and at this point I just have to try to forgive myself for the things undone and try not to take on too much. And remember the really important things: tea at 10 and 3, an afternoon nap, wine at 5 and not too much food ever. Old age is tricky, and it gets trickier as time passes. Someday in the not too distant future I may have to get someone else to do some of these chores.

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  10. I always get dressed. Am I unusual? Or weird? I get up, shower, get dressed, make my breakfast, make the beds, feed the dog and potter around until the day tarts with whatever comes.

    Does that make me a grown-up? I'll have to think about that.
    Hm, interesting question.

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  11. Nick:
    Fine in theory but I seem to be always so bloody busy...hate it.
    XO
    WWW

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  12. GM:
    Good for you. I am trying and trying to let the worry roll off me like Teflon, one of these days.
    XO
    WWW

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  13. Carol:
    Oh you know vacations don't count. I congratulate you on routine. I work on it.
    XO
    WWW

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  14. Oh thank you Annie, fellow knitter, it is nearly finished. I will post pic when done. I am so pleased with it.
    And yeah, it is hard to model ourselves on people who seem to be so together. I don't know many, or if I do, I lost track of them. :)
    XO
    WWW

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  15. Marc:
    Ah, deferred gratification, the sign of maturity.
    You have achieved the status of a true grown-up. I'm getting there. I should live with an OCD cleaning up my droppings.....:)
    XO
    WWW

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  16. Ramana:
    You have the multi-generational thing in your home, quite a bit of stress. But I imagine you never thought you'd have your father kicking around so crankily when you hit 70.
    No, I don't envy you.
    XO
    WWW

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  17. T:
    I'm pretty good about the bed, I do like it fluffed and made and the duvet shaken (never stirred, lol)
    My darling Granny went to pieces on me when my mum died. I resemble her more than I ever did my mum. She was to outlive my mum's death for many years but all the fun was kicked out of her.
    XO
    WWW

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  18. Oh Anne:
    I model myself on you, or I try to. You fit so much in, travel and art and writing and gardening. Wow.
    You are amazing.
    XO
    WWW

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  19. Friko:
    I think because I live alone I behave like a brat.
    I was a lot better behaved when sharing quarters!!
    XO
    WWW
    PS Oh I love "day tarts". I know a mistype but wonderful. I want my days to tart up a little.
    :)

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  20. Lots to think about here. Picking after oneself - physically and emotionally definitely ranks as adult behaviour.

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  21. Poonside:
    And we did learn it in kindergarten and promptly forgot!!
    XO
    WWW

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  22. I may act the most grown up when I take my pups out for a walk when it rains or snows and I really, really don't feel like it. (Thankfully in the US southwest high desert those days are not many.)

    As regards good elder modeling, my almost next door neighbor, a woman in her mid-seventies, just announced to me her impending marriage to her college sweetheart. This woman amazed me only a few years ago, in her early seventies, with her first ever moving performance of her own written autobiographical, material. We do need elders that share their vision with vim and vigor.

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