Friday, January 11, 2013

Hunkering



Can you believe the way the snow crept up my window? Photo taken this a.m.

The thing about storms and hunkering is that regular hours can be thrown for a loop. I couldn't sleep last night, the howling of the wind and those odd creaky things in an old house that come blaringly to life in a storm has thrown my night into day, day into night.

The 3.00 a.m. horror show also appeared - you know how that goes, don't you? Every thought you've had since you were two comes to life. First day of school is there, then a brand new film for me: beloved grandfather dying, mama weeping for what seemed like months afterwards. And no, you can't go to the funeral, we want you to remember him the way he was which always led me to the belief it was a huge big scam and Granddad had run off somewhere never to be seen again. So that film played for a couple of hours inevitably leading to the deaths of other beloveds and maybe it was my turn tonight, and the what about the dog? thought, this time left with my corpse? Would she howl? Eat me? Great, enough of that now.

I could go on and on about the stark raving horrors of the three ayems. I wrote a poem about it one time. And I salute the almighty power of the search engine for locating it:

In the three ayem darkness
To a mind run amok.
In the afternoon rainstorm
To depression unstuck.

In the loan of a shoulder,
To the lean of a hold,
In the ear of attention
To the warmth from the cold.

In the years gone behind us,
To the old you and me,
In the comfort we offer
To the days yet to be.

Written in 2002. I was young then. Well, old then. Well, much older now. In that way of passing sixty at high speed.

It is still windy out and drizzling. Cabin fever hasn't set in yet. I truly love being isolated in times such as these.

It sets the mind to dreaming without interruption.

22 comments:

  1. I've been wondering about you today and your wild winter weather up there! So glad to hear you're safe and hunkered down and dreaming uninterrupted!

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  2. Ah but the nights, the nights be wicked, I think it is dying down soon Molly so will off to bed, perchance to dream....
    XO
    WWW

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  3. Have you got your house tied down like in The Shipping News?Im dreading leaving la-la land to visit grandkids in Seattle. It can be rough there.

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  5. Sorry for double posting. Blame my Kindle Fire!

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  6. Yes, that kind of night is very familiar to me.

    Pity I am so far away, we could have sat and listened to the wind together and told stories about the long ago.

    Over a cup or glass of something cheering, naturally.

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  7. No Hattie, not quite that extreme and Annie Proulx was rather fanciful in her depiction of our island.
    I would never leave Hawaii if I lived there :)
    XO
    WWW

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  8. Friko:
    Where is everyone when you need them at threeayem? Pity we don't get advance notice of such horror shows and send out invitations!
    XO
    WWW

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  9. Wow snow that high ! How high would that drift be.

    What the heck is it about 3 A.M wake ups? Seems to be a common thing in friends we have who are in the advancing maturity group.

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  10. About six feet in non metric, GFB.

    I've always had trouble if I wake at 3 a.m. Haunting hour, hour of horrors.

    I've tried getting up, reading, hot milk, etc. Nothing works to slay those dragons.

    XO
    WWW

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  11. We do not have snow of any kind at all here but I know the feeling of being isolated during some of our monsoon days. When drains clog up and water accumulates on the roads and start lapping against the homes, it can be scary. And when lightening and thunder accompany, it can be scarier still. During such times, I do feel comfortable within the home and glad that I have a roof over my head and other modern conveniences that keeps me dry and comfortable and use the time to catch up with a lot of backlog that somehow never seems to leave me.

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  12. Glad you lived through the storm relatively unscathed, though night terrors take their toll. I've learned to personify the night thoughts - they come in the form of The Great Bird Dread, a creature that first visited me when I was being divorced, had 4 small children to care for, and no income - and instead of tossing and turning, Dread and I have an active conversation, a trick suggested by a therapist. Sometimes I get up and make a cup of tea for the conversation, sometimes I just lie in the dark and watch the thoughts roll by as though they were a movie Dread and I are watching together. Inevitably, Dread reminds me that all things have a way of working out and I drift off to sleep knowing that in the morning a way, some way, will appear.

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  13. Ramana:
    I don't know which would terrorize me more a blizzard or a monsoon!!

    I hate thunder and lightening at night as it seems to take on a far more sinister air than at daytime.

    Glad it's behind me now.

    XO
    WWW

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  14. Pauline what a positive spin you put on it all!!

    Maybe I need to invent a Dread and engage him in conversation about the movies that roll by?

    The funny thing is those movies are laughable in the daytime!!

    XO
    WWW

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  15. Ooooh! That's really Bleak Mid-Winter stuff WWW!

    I've been getting past the 3 a.m. bugbear by watching TV or a DVD until around that time, this week after which I'm too tired to think eerie thoughts. :-)
    I suspect I have whooping cough, by the way - or something closely akin to it. Anyone passing our house in the dead of last night would have thought we were haunted! :-(

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  16. T:
    Whopping cough? OMG T I hope you are taking care of it. I thought we were all immune to those childhood bugbears but not so obviously!!
    I haven't had watching machinery in bedroom for over 20 years as I heard it was the worst fengshui to have in a bedroom. Gullible? Who knows? And at 3 a.m. I hate getting up to go downstairs and sticking in a DVD.
    Anyway you take care of yourself. Take it easy and get better!
    XO
    WWW

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  17. These days I'm the same in a storm. I can't settle. I have a nice app on my phone now which helps, it plays soothing sounds and white noise. Really helps me get back to sleep when I wake and my brain won't turn off.

    We're promised snow, but nothing like you have!!

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  18. Hey! We're the ones supposed to have the ten foot blizzard every winter. You're on the mild Atlantic coast. This week has been all rain and warmth here. Barely a foot of snow since October. The climate's gone mad.
    My wife couldn't sleep without a fan running all night. I didn't mind the noise, but the draught from the darned thing drove me nuts. Eventually, I made her a CD of fan noise on the computer. It seems to work, and now I don't have to lie and shiver all night.

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  19. Well Jay I've been looking for a few million excuses for an android/iphone and you have provided reason #189.

    I'll be shortly on my way to app myself!

    XO
    WWW

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  20. RJA:
    Brilliant thou art on the fan front.
    I haven't photoed it yet but there is an 8 foot wall of snow fencing my meadow. I think every bit of snow blew there in the high winds. It looks funny.
    Yeah, this climate change is getting more serious, you heard about Oz, right?
    XO
    WWW

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  21. I certainly don't envy you all that snow. I am on good terms with the three ayems, the radio runs at a low drone and a soft pillow along my back helps sometimes.

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