Monday, January 07, 2013

What, Me Worry?



Worry was intertwined with my last post about growing old and the fear of it.

I would have said I didn't worry about stuff. But I do. I took a step backward and observed myself on Saturday:

Here goes:

Worries crawl in. I watched them carefully today and lo and behold they staggered down the hall, whispering to each other, and on into my office and proceeded to infest my brain.

I'll tell you what I worried about, even briefly, today (Saturday). Welcome to the inner workings of my brain:

First snowfall of the season, about 5cm.

Yer man's not coming by with the snowplow, look he just passed my driveway again and he never answers his phone and I need an ingredient for a recipe so I can't drive to the shop so my brunch will be destroyed tomorrow without this ingredient, how can I face my guests.
Worry lasted an hour. Yer man showed up and plowed. Face red.

Where, goddam it, is Leo, he's supposed to clear the pathways and next thing we won't be able to access the barn for the wood for the fire and the house will freeze with the cold and I'll have to cancel the brunch and maybe I should just sell up and leave and find a tiny apartment in St. John's and get a lot of cans and pasta in and hunker down for the winter as they don't plow their sidewalks, and oh gawd, they don't take dogs, how can I leave my dog?
Worry skulked in and out for another hour. Leo, meanwhile, behind my back, was sorting wood (old~new) in the barn and locating the snow shovel and then shovelled all pedestrian access to the doors on the property.

I should seal off the front door, the drafts can be bad, but it will take me hours, do I have the time, I've never done this before, make the time. OK.
Job took 5 minutes. Face still red.

I shouldn't have to fix the bloody chair (see above). Glueing chair legs is so complicated, plus it's an antique, I don't want to damage it. What happened to all those years you refinished antiques, huh? But I have to - I need the chair for the annual Nollaig Na mBan tomorrow. I've no choice. More hours out of my tight little life.
Job took 10 minutes. Looks great. See above. Face still red.

And I'll post about my Nollaig na mBan soonest. It was rather splendid even though I say so myself.




19 comments:

  1. You made my whole point. Everything as a rule always works out fine and if it doesn't, no amount of worrying is going to prevent that. xox

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  2. Why is worrying considered to be bad? It keeps your mind occupied and prevents mischief!

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  3. SAW:
    Rats in the attic as one of my friends terms it.
    Feels like that too. I think we all do it sub consciously and are not quite aware of it. I willed myself into a state of awareness to watch this process!!
    XO
    WWW

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  4. Irene:
    Exactly. Glad I'm not aware of it for the most part.
    XO
    WWW

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  5. Ramana:
    LOL. There are better things I could be doing indeed!!
    XO
    WWW

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  6. Those weaselly worries! Being aware of them is the first step to banishing them, I suppose, but they creep in unawares and make life miserable by the moment if you let them.

    "More hours out of my tight little life." I recognize that sentiment, and then I always wonder, well, what would I be doing if I wasn't fixing or making or thinking about something? Better bothered, than bored, I should think.

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  7. A favourite A.A. Milne quote always helps me when worries try to invade:

    'Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?' 'Supposing it didn't,' said Pooh. After careful thought Piglet was comforted by this.”

    Whenever I or Himself come up with a "what if" type worry to gnaw upon, I share that simple, clear philosophy....."what if it doesn't?" :-)

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  8. Pauline:
    Well said indeed! What else would I be doing, probably tidying my office. I had to throw stuff in there to clear the rest of the ground floor of my house.
    And was worried, lol, that what Daughter said was true:
    The state of your office is the state of your mind.
    Ouch!
    XO
    WWW

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  9. T:
    Thanks for this. I will remember. Very very comforting words!
    XO
    WWW

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  10. Yes, so many worries turn out to be totally unnecessary. It doesn't stop us worrying though. Reason and experience are no defence against the pesky worry gene.

    Anyway, I hope the Nollaig Na mBan is a great success!

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  11. Thanks, Nick - it was I'll give everyone an update at the end of the day.
    XO
    WWW

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  12. I used to worry about everything before guests arrived, then I realised I was in far too much a state to enjoy the evening, so I gave myself a talking too and now I prepare, serve and relax. It is much more fun.

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  13. Yes, all that was relaxing, the prepping of the food, etc and the layouts, it was the unexpected snow piling up, the chair falling apart, the freezing hall that got me, GM!
    XO
    WWW

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  14. Worrying will lead you to nothing. Great post by the way I love it and it entertained me. Thank you!

    Zero Dramas

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  15. Adel:
    A waste of energy I agree but telling myself so doesn't cure it.
    XO
    WWW

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  16. I try to live by the philosophy that got me through my wedding day:
    Two types of thing will go wrong - those that you can do something about, in which case, you will do something about them at the time, so why worry; and those that you can do nothing about, in which case, you can't do anything about them, so why worry?

    As a pathological planner, I am full of the 'what ifs' and try to plan for every eventuality, so the above philosophy doesn't always see me through, but once I have prepared myself as much as I can for an event, it does help to settle some of the niggles!

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  17. A very good philosophy Jo, I must say and great that it works too (most of the time). Lovely to hear from you I think your Kiwi life is keeping your very busy!
    XO
    WWW

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  18. Some time people experience unpleasant physical symptoms from worrying such as anxiety and depression. The things people worry about could be actual problems that they are confronting at the moment, or they could be things that aren’t likely to happen. more

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