What forms us? What forms me?
Our stories surely. All the little stories of our lives. The bursts of joy, the hell holes of sadness, the reactions to casual cruelties, the love, the hate and all emotions in between. Though some say it's all boiled down to two: Love and Fear.
I write of my own childhood events, the memories so crystal clear. These are what made me with all my flaws, my strengths, my talents. My thirst for knowledge, my passion for language and Irish culture, my obsession with writing. Even my addictions. Whether they are bred in the bone or habituated as a coping mechanism, who's to tell and why speculate as to the origin. Sometimes things just ARE. I live with them. I accept them. I make changes, often kicking and screaming, I make changes. And I chance and risk take.
Over an unexpected lunch with friends in town yesterday we discussed risk-taking. Chance taking. How do we ever know unless we attempt something new - no matter how foolish, no matter how idiotic sounding. This couple take chances. The started several businesses that failed and then struck success with the final business started twenty years ago which they sold last year. This year they head off to Florida for the winter. To try it. And see if they like it.
I take chances - I bought Cara the caravan a few years ago to gypsy my way around the enormous island of Newfoundland, one outport at a time.
The fantasy of this idea came up against cold, hard reality. I've never changed a tire in my life or charged up unliftable batteries overnight or cleaned out a portable toilet system or pumped in potable water to a tank. I was not about to start. I'm simply not that type of pioneer woman.
Cara is leaving me in a few days into the custody and care of a man who does all these things and more and will take manage her. Our lessons are learned in practice and not from lectures. But I never would have known about my own inability if I hadn't taken the chance on her.
Now I do.
No regrets.
Next.
Oh thank you for visiting my blog...it gave me the opportunit to experience your wonderful writing and lovely,familiar insights. Love this post. I am your newest and most enthusiastic fan.
ReplyDeleteTrue indeed - nothing venture, nothing win. I'm quite timid myself, but on the occasions when I've plucked up courage to so something a bit adventurous it's worked out very well. Like moving from London to Belfast with no job in prospect but assuming something would turn up. Which it did.
ReplyDeleteLR:
ReplyDeleteI saw you linked on another blog, can't remember which one, and as I make it a point to visit a few new ones every week I was delighted with yours.
Thanks for your kind comment!
XO
WWW
Nick:
ReplyDeleteAnd we just never know until we try. I would have always hankered after a Cara if I hadn't embraced her. Now it's out of my system. Same with stage work and writing and those workshops coming up.
XO
WWW
You are so refreshing, WWW. No bullshitting here.
ReplyDeleteHave I ever had a "Cara" in my life? I don't know. Possibly. To know one's limitations as you do - that's an art. Am still chiselling away.
U
Ursula:
ReplyDeleteBut that's the whole nugget of the challenge - to have a chisel and know what to chip away at? The treasure lies beneath.
XO
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There are plenty of risks that went pear-shaped in the taking in my life.
ReplyDeleteFor now risks are left alone, the major ones, anyway. I feel good being calm and settled, there’s been too much hassle already.
Perhaps the time for risks will come again, at the moment someone else depends on me.
Life is all about taking risks, There were quite a few that I am glad I made the jump.
ReplyDeleteAt least Cara is going to a good home. Many of our best lessons are learned at the school of hard knocks.
Hello there
ReplyDeleteHave to agree with Nick - nothing ventured nothing gained or as they tend to say down here- you got to be in it to win it!
On our last trip to N/ fld (sept 2013) we saw loads of vans on the road - far more than 3 years previously. We found B&b owners had raised their prices a lot so wondered if towing a caravan/ trailer had become a better option for travellers or would it be all the retirees seeing their world the old fashioned way?
Take car
Cathy
Cathy:
ReplyDeleteYes towing is big here along with the monster trailers with ensuites. You can rent one at Island RVs on the TCH just outside St. John's. B&Bs are sorely lacking but I am seriously thinking of starting my own AirBnB which is the simple and cheap alternative.
XO
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Cathy:
ReplyDeleteYes towing is big here along with the monster trailers with ensuites. You can rent one at Island RVs on the TCH just outside St. John's. B&Bs are sorely lacking but I am seriously thinking of starting my own AirBnB which is the simple and cheap alternative.
XO
WWW
GM:
ReplyDeleteRight you are. Experience being the best teacher and not lessons learned from others.
XO
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Friko:
ReplyDeleteYes, I am on the calm phase of life at the moment too and taking the odd plunge here and there into unknown territory. I think it keeps me sharp! :)
XO
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You are speaking to a kindred soul. I would have done exactly what you have done if something like this had happened to me. A major risk that I took comes back to mind and it will be my Monday story.
ReplyDeleteah it is wonderful to have the kin of the spirits out there, Ramana, can hardly wait to read your story!
ReplyDeleteXO
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