Thursday, July 03, 2014

Chaos Prevention List

I had to let go of the term "procrastination". It spelled "fail" to me. I had to realize procrastination is just me and my addict mind creating chaos, stoking the fumes of adrenalin, putting me in touch with those years. You know. The ones where drinkin' 'n' smokin' 'n' *other stuff* ran my life.

So I came up with an alternative title. And it helps.

I know this post will mean absolutely zero to most of you out there. You guys with the handle on things, who do your dishes on time and vacuum and dust whether you need to or not.

I live on the edge a little. It used to be a lot so there is marked improvement. Seriously.
I was out with some prim and propers today. Some of whom were Irish doing the tour. I have to watch my mouth. I said shyte once and their jaws dropped. I know I can never be friends with such people.

I think cardiacs would have occurred if I'd gone into my pagan state. When I mentioned my mother's tribe, The O'Sullivan Bearas, and the massacre on Dursey Island, they told me they didn't like to dwell on that stuff, it was all history now. And they didn't care for it.

I was tempted to bring up Tuam and the baby bodies in the septic tank but my mother brought me up right so I sipped on tea while they ate their scones and I behaved myself. It was hard.

Mulling to myself around the pretty china and matching talk, I realized they would never, ever need a Chaos Prevention List. Ever.

And could put me in my place, proper-like, if I dared to say "Shyte" once again.

29 comments:

  1. I say "fuck-a-duck" myself, to my own amusement.

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  2. I pass freely on to you, Irene, my own very favourite (and only used with trusted friends and you know you are one) "fuckity-fuck".

    Try it. You'll be delighted with yourself.

    XO
    WWW

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  3. Yes, that's all old history now and they don't care to bring it up, or to even remember that grandfather beat grandmother when she spoke her own tongue, and the teachers beat the kids when they shouted čé:nę (cheh-nugh) "Catch it, hang on to it!" to each other while playing ball games during recess at school.

    Those of us who are charged with remembering are treated as if we are just a bit mental by those whose parents and grandparents wanted to forget. Shunned a bit. You can see the, 'This is the crazy aunt I told you about,' look in their eyes, and they get all nervous and drift off or suddenly have to check the potato salad.

    Told by today's young that no one wants to hear about those old days, but I'm the one who was told by the old generation to remember. It only takes a generation to lose your heritage.

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  4. I like the title 'Chaos Prevention List', I think I might have to adopt it. I used to have a routine, but it seems to have flown out the window. No matter, I am a happy bunny in my second childhood!

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  5. Deb:

    And intelligence has nothing to do with it. These two were quite intelligent and the sniffy "we are soooo beyond our Irish past" really threw me.

    I was dying to ask about the latest scandals but knew a putdown would be smacked on me so I played nice.

    Doomed to repeat......

    As we know.

    XO
    WWW

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  6. That spelling, with a "Y"- Shyte - has real style! A wonderful irish word that my brit friends have started to adopt as its so much zingier than Shit. I'm liking your posts so much.

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  7. Some of us prim and propers are still doing all we can to escape the stinging hand prints we used to regularly wear on our faces, even if the person delivering those slaps--or worse--is long gone. We learned early that no misstep, intended or not, went unpunished. Being prim and proper and attempting to follow every stated and imagined rule is an (often doomed-to-failure) attempt to avoid the mythical hand that's going to descend out of the sky to slap us silly again. Rather than never, ever needing a Chaos Prevention List, the prim and propers you encountered may be scrambling every moment to fight any possible incursion of chaos that would bring them instant and stinging punishment. However, this prim and proper loves hanging around with socially conscious people who can say "shyte" or the equivalent when the occasion calls for such language. I find it quite liberating to use that language myself when yet another piece of legislation intended to control women is enacted here in the good old USA! You just have to find the right prim and propers to feel appreciated for who you are and what you contribute to any gathering or conversation!

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  8. I try to be good, I do, but shyte, it's hard. (Love the dignified y.) Linda P. (above) may have a point, though. I'm not Irish but I tell you, those French nuns were no less willing to swing their hands. I still duck when I say shit.

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  9. Oh, that one brought a big grin to my face, WWW. I am sure going to use it. xox

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  10. You make me smile :)
    Lately I use some words
    prim and proper never did in the past.
    Seems it is the only way I can get their attention..

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  11. I love the idea of a "chaos prevention list" - I could get away with so much more if I was just preventing chaos... I've been saying for three weeks that I need to vacuum (having trod grass clippings into the house after the final mow before winter really sets in), but it isn't killing us to have a messy carpet, so it sort of falls to the bottom of the to-do list, as degunking my brain from increasingly painful weeks at work becomes more important. Sadly, 'degunking' doesn't tend to have anything productive at the end of it!

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  12. personally I prefer FUCK, FUCK, FUCK! ...

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  13. Don't talk to me about procrastination. Once I was Ms Perfect. Now I have developed a personality disorder. Not helped by not having a dish washer.

    I love "shyte". It is so much softer than its harder counterpart.

    U

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  14. Welcome to the club.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xi3aEGo8y-E

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  15. Enna:

    Thank you, yes a much "classier" way of saying it and the "y" gives an old fashioned ring. :)

    XO
    WWW

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  16. Linda:

    I do believe more empowerment came to women in adopting strong language. Being "ladies" got us nowhere but BPK.

    We need to express ourselves more strongly, as the regression of women's rights in the last 40 years makes me weep.

    Meek and mild and peace-making got us diddley squat. We have to remember the suffragettes chaining themselves to railings.

    XO
    WWW

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  17. Pauline:

    You need to mentally slap them back when you feel like ducking :)

    XO
    WWW
    PS Bloody bitches. I had enough of them and the sore hands to show for it.

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  18. Irene:
    A lovely ring to it, isn't there?

    XO
    WWW

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  19. OWJ:

    There is an empowerment in language, isn't there. Sometimes we need to shock others into paying us attention.

    XO
    WWW

    PS Quiet and polite gets us nowhere.

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  20. Jo:

    Yes, I started on my chaos prevention and truly it has made all the difference lately.

    Good luck with everything, you've been AOL for far too long from blogland :)

    XO
    WWW

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  21. Betty:

    I view it as an honour when my granddaughter tells me I have a mouth like a trucker.

    MY grandmother never earned that medallion.

    XO
    WWW

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  22. Ursula:
    In my tiny kitchen with space limitations, I chose a dishwasher over a full size oven.
    Priorities.
    Crisis prevention.
    XO
    WWW

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  23. Brilliant Ramana, how on earth could they write my biography and set it to music too?

    XO
    WWW

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  24. My wife Cary had a similar experience, though kind of reversed. My family where/are Eastern Oregon Redneck, I was the first one to go past undergrad university. Most of them worked in logging or the mills, and were rough-hewn to say the least.

    She graduated from National Cathedral Girls School in DC, and Vassar, one of the 'sister' schools. She spoke french and UK style english.

    At the first family reunion on my side she attended she looked at a map of Oregon on the wall and commented to my uncle that we had a county named Malheur, pronouncing it in the correct French fashion. He peered at her and said "It's Mal-hewer, darlin'.

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  25. SFM:

    Oh my, how hard it is for some of us to keep that old lip zipped.

    Good for a larf afterwards though?

    XO
    WWW

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  26. I was scrolling through the comment sna dlaughed at the first exchange - I say "fuck a duck" and "fuckety" all the time. Also, "Oh, fucking FUCK!"

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  27. I don't know any women who are not overburdened from dealing with both inner and outer chaos.

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  28. This post had me laughing out loud. I have a friend who terrified me the first time I met her. We were taking a class together two dozen years ago, and I'd never heard someone speak as brashly as she did in public [little did I know it got worse in private]. Over the course of several weeks I got to know her and we became good friends. She had thought I was prim and proper and was glad to learn she was wrong about me, too. After I read this post I called her again - we haven't seen each other for years and haven't talked for two and I haven't been able to reach her. We finally caught up this weekend - so good to hear her voice. We hope to get together soon and I will share your story.

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