Thursday, March 12, 2015

Rattled

(My dark side loves this picture, that is all)

It was a friend who pointed out to me that my fall had more serious effects than I was acknowledging and she reminded me to be more gentle and not to attempt so much.

I've always been wary of being one of the medical broadcast people, you know the ones, you meet them and you get chapter and verse of every single doctor visit, ache, pain, diagnosis, prognosis for the last 2 years. I'm not talking serious stuff here, just the ongoing physical setbacks in everyone's life. It's the ad nauseum reports I'm talking.

So I've kept shtum. But, yeah there have been skeletal challenges. So yeah, I am respecting my newfound - and hopefully temporary - limitations a wee bit more.

Which got me to thinking:

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
― Maya Angelou

And I expect the feelings can be marvellous or downright awful when you think about it.

I try not to revisit a deep, hurtful family shunning. And clich├ęs don't help: you know the ones "move beyond it," "their loss," blah-blah. Fine and dandy until it happens to you. The pain is always throbbing away in the background.

I focus on lovely stuff right now:

The unexpected success of a writers' workshop I'm conducting.
The thoughtful link a dear blog friend provided for a free publishing critique which had a cap of 1000 participants. I just made it under the wire.
A dinner invitation for tomorrow.
Today - a day I've put aside just for me to do with what I will. Finish the knitting project - photo soon - finalize Session 2 of the workshop, some baking, making yogurt, and staring off into space for as long as I want.

16 comments:

  1. A bittersweet post......with a delightful photo.........my babies when they were puppies x

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  2. Cool skeletons. Counting blessings always seems to help at least a little.

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  3. As you say, emotional pain is always throbbing away in the background, and you can't just wish it away. But focusing on the good things that are happening can at least distract you from it for a while.

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  4. Congratulations on the success of that writer's workshop and the other bright moments that you have either constructed or have been gifted to you! I hope you soon feel better.

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  5. I’d love to choose the ‘stare into space’ option on an empty day but it never works, does it?

    I too cook, read, write, go for a walk. Empty days never remain empty days.

    I am sorry that you are still feeling great hurt about the family shunning. For me the pain has long stopped. In fact, when I wondered what I would feel if I had to come face to face with my shunner I would probably feel nothing apart from embarrassment. I truly have accepted that the situation is beyond my influence. So be it.

    I hope that the pain will fade for you too.

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  6. I love those Bonies. For years I looked like them covered in a layer of skin! Hope the goodies help to ease the painful memories. Stay strong, my friend.

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  7. Hey John, glad you enjoyed the pic. :)

    XO
    WWW

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  8. SAW:
    Yes trying to focus on the many beautiful things in my lide truly helps.
    XO
    WWW

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  9. Nick:
    Distraction can't be over-rated!
    XO
    WWW

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  10. Thank you Linda, this workshop has done me a world of good, like coming out of a dark hole and into sunshine!!
    XO
    WWW

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  11. Friko I think part of my pain is that no matter the future, this huge hole will never be traversed. I accept that but I feel the pain around it. The awful waste of the years when life is so uncertain to begin with. The callousness can still take my breath away, right on top of my missing daughter pain too....
    XO
    WWW

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  12. Thanks GM, you are a gorgeous woman, inside and out, no comparison to those skeletons my dear. So glad we met F2F and can chat on the phone.
    XO
    WWW

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  13. Isn't it just Hattie? Nothing like it. Particularly the spirit filling kind!
    XO
    WWW

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