Thursday, October 22, 2015

Into the Grief Room


Some trepidation in the parking lot.

Some downtalk as I enter the room, you know the drill: "what the hell are you doing here when so many others are so much worse off?"

Some tears. Gulping them back.

Recognition of others and others of me, my gawd, we're all in the same boat of anguish and pain. We're all new to this process wondering what to do next with our lives which have this meaningless, hollow ring to them.

Understanding. Everyone here gets this. Understands the absolutely crazy insane thinking inside of the skull of the bereaved.

Down to the total lack of comprehension of the process from family members. The sheer cruel isolation of it all.

I was totally at ease in that strange, loving, kleenexed room. For two hours.

My blood sugars were normal when I took a reading a few hours later.

For the first time in months and months.

Mind=Body.

I'm a believer.

Quote:

There's a point in which life stops giving you things and starts to take them away.



20 comments:

  1. That's incredible -- isn't it? -- about the blood sugar, yet makes such perfect sense!

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    1. Sometimes we're unaware of the secret stresses of the body I believe.

      XO
      WWW

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    1. I've got a good vibe about all of this Ramana.

      XO
      WWW

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  3. Replies
    1. I'd never heard it before OWJ and it sure resonated with me. A deep reality check.

      XO
      WWW

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  4. Glad the therapy seems to be having a beneficial effect. I think there's a total lack of comprehension of grief from most people, as grief affects everyone in very different ways and we process it in very different ways. Other people's well-meaning interpretations are usually way off track.

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    1. I think what happened in that room yesterday was we were all in the same boat, desperately wanting to move beyond it and hoping for the compassion and understanding of the process. It was amazing.

      XO
      WWW

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  5. How wonderful that you have found this. Many warm wishes to you.

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  6. They say all it takes is one small step - I reckon you just took a ginormous leap!
    Hope your next visit is just as beneficial.
    Take care
    Cathy

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    1. I'm very positive, Cathy - my individual counsellor attended this session too and I liked him. Our session is in November.

      XO
      WWW

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  7. Sounds like you have found a group where you can be accepted and let things flow. So happy for you. I think it's always a gamble entering a therapeutic group and that you have joined a compatible one is such good news.

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    1. Yes, a bit of a lottery there, Pamela - but it did work for us. Fortuitous.

      XO
      WWW

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  8. You nailed it, Mary. Add in some PTSD from finding my friend dead in the living room rather than sleeping and add another four, all but one younger than I and you have me. It's taken two years and I feel like I've just come up for air.

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    1. That is one long traumatic couple of years for you, E. I am so sorry for all those losses.

      I know it gets better, we just don't know when.

      XO
      WWW

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  9. The grief must have felt so immense that it was terrifying to even think about releasing it. Someone has done a good job of guiding that group or of nurturing each other.

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    1. Yes, Linda, I was terrified of letting go, of never being able to stop. I wished for a big enough space to just howl and howl.
      There were 3 counsellors there and 3 grievers. My next session is one on one.
      XO
      WWW

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    2. I'm glad you had that group. I hope the one-on-one is just as nurturing and fruitful. Mine has been, though as you point out it does take time. Thanks for your concern and kind words.

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  10. That drawing is so very true. Desperately sad post but I suppose it also emphasises that none of us are alone.

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