Thursday, April 14, 2016

Shifting Sands

Something has shifted. Don't know what, how, where or when. It could be the weather. It could be taking myself off some pills which were doing me in with constant coughing (with an 8 week afterlife, good gawd Big Pharma, you're killing us!). Still coughing 3 weeks later. Nighttime is the worst. But it's not getting me down or anything or making me feel hopeless and sad and you know, that depression thing.

I reported what I'd done to my doctor yesterday and we shifted meds again. Doctors are awfully disappointed when meds and patients don't play well together. Especially when it's a now a couple of meds that don't agree with me at all. I felt his disapproval. A personal failure on my part. Sorry doc.

I actually look forward to a doc visit. Not for the doc. It's the waiting room and next door pharmacy which are like social clubs. I meet neighbours and chat and get caught up and the doc or the pharmacist become almost incidental. I was pleased when a stranger (to me) walked in and looked at me and said "Oh, you're ____'s mother!" And I said "How do you know?" and she said "Oh, you're so alike!" Daughter was the head off her father for years and years but as she ages my gene pool seems to be taking over.

My crying jags are less frequent, grief takes its own journey, patience is essential along with acceptance and letting it all out somewhere safe like in my counsellor's office.

It is gorgeously beautiful here so I got out and about and took some photos. A camera in my hand makes me happy.

14 comments:

  1. Drugs...they can kill you. The doctors seem determined to cure you with a drug. I am determined to stay far away from drugs.

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    1. I so agree DKZ I've been tempted to pitch them all but I do my readings (4 times a day, recorded for the specialist) and get fearful, my BP is way out of control as are my blood sugars. I am mulling all of it.

      XO
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  2. Suffering withdrawal symptoms from stopping medication is common and I am right now in the midst of one and yes, doctors don't like it one bit. Nice photograph.

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    1. Thanks Ramana, odd how the docs behave and of course they won't hear anything against Big Pharma in spite of all the research. I hope you're doing OK.

      XO
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  3. I hope that you will be okay...Hugs...Apparently one of my bloggers is worried about me based on last post...Don't know what to say to that one...I'm starting to think all docs are nothing but glorified drug dealers.

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  4. I'm on your team, E. I hate being on these meds and had a great discussion on this whole medical system and their love affair with Big Pharma with a few people today which I will write about next.

    XO
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  5. withdrawals
    are fearful
    coming down on prednison
    is not easy
    and just do not like doctor visits
    as they pass medications on to you.
    soon
    may stop going to doctor
    and with doing, rest, prayer, meditation,
    good diet
    handle it all.
    but find I hug, good support team
    accepting life as it was and is
    the most helpful
    and difficult to do....

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    1. I know Ernestine, I wish I could completely zen myself and be more at peace with all that has gone on, it would help my health considerably. Acceptance is the key, no matter the question or situation. Nothing I can do about any of it. Other people's baggage is their issue not mine, right?

      XO
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  6. Beta blockers have kept me from becoming a heart invalid, so I am grateful. What I avoided was hormonal contraceptives and "replacement" hormones, and I'm very glad for that. My docs always wanted me to use them, everyone was using them, they would keep me sexy and young forever: you know the line.

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    1. Oh lawd yes Hattie, I believe those poison pills helped to contribute to my BFF's brain tumour from what I've read. :( I've been moved to another heart drug.

      XO
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  7. If a drug doesn't agree with you, that's absolutely not a "personal failure" and I'm amazed a doctor should even imply such a thing. My own doctor is totally sanguine about incompatible drugs and simply suggests an alternative I could try. Obviously people's metabolisms are different and drugs affect us in different ways. It's the drug that's at fault, not you.

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    1. Of course Nick but the disbelief and big sigh as he researches alternatives I think could be just laziness on his part? Don't know, don't want to confront him. Doctors are thin on the field out on the Edge.

      XO
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  8. All these medications are made for Mr/s average and only work 60% of the time. Why does that not surprise me, well it is because I have yet to meet a Mr/s average.

    In my own case I do not have a textbook body, I have great difficulty with medications so now carry a list of those I take and the eleven that have caused major problems. When I say major... statins had me almost bedridden, BP meds caused blackout falls (remember the broken bones in my face.) and Doxycycline left my hands, face and eyes super sensitive to sunlight.

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    1. Oh my GM, thanks for sharing this. Doxycylcine is the new one I'm on. I'm extra careful of the sun anyway and wear SPF and sunglasses.
      I remember your blackout, shyte missus we can't be too careful can we?

      XO
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