Thursday, June 30, 2016

This Much is True

Still life lunch. Alas, no, none of it grown by me.

I've come out of the shadow of darkness. Everybody keeps telling me. I look better, sound better, talk better, respond better. That's good.

A major part of this was letting go. Of so much I can't begin to tell you. Not just the 3 beloveds who died, but also my past, my missing daughter, and on.

Finding a new purpose(s), taking care of my health which is not terrific, being honest, distancing myself from those who harm me. Taking stock. Feeling pleased with the inventory. Finding some new projects, one over dinner last night with a long time client who's visiting St.John's for a conference and is expanding her core business and wants me on board for a while with this. Fortuitous.

July is heavily booked with my PGs, the anthology just about ready to go to print, a 3-day (free!)vacation planned with a dear friend to visit another friend's newly opened gallery about 250km from here, with side-visits to other places of interest.

And I spent some time designing a new afghan for a beloved niece. And was excited to get it on the needles this morning. Quite a few have said I should make a little industry out of this too, maybe I will.

All in all, I do love this quiet place in bright sunshine I find myself in. I think we only appreciate such contentment when we have wrestled for long stretches in the dark with shadows and hurt and pain.

And a huge bonus is knowing, truly and deeply, who one's soul friends are.

And it can be delightful to discover those who really care.

Along with stopping the cartwheels for those who couldn't give a tosser.

I am so grateful.

I truly feel reborn.

26 comments:

  1. Good to know your feeling good, WWW. Keep it up!

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    1. Thanks RJA, she was a long time coming and I never thought she would, but she's here and I feel invigorated!

      XO
      WWW

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  2. Wonderful!! Please don't lose that feeling when you read my posts...

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    1. I promise to try and share it E. It was a long time coming.
      XO
      WWW

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  3. Thank you. Your post gave me a lift.
    I am happy for you. Lori

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    1. I am so glad Lori. There is always hope. I sometimes forget that myself.
      XO
      WWW

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  4. I smile
    and we all have to learn for ourselves.
    Keep going onward
    and I love the image...

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  5. Yes such I divide al lessons Ernestine, we can't do others and they can't do our. I never thought the darkness would end. And it has.
    you inspire me with your lovely food photos.
    XO
    WWW

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  6. Good news indeed. My best wishes that this feeling lasts for ever.

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    1. I don't think that would be good Ramana, I could get to used to it and fail to appreciate renewed spirit and joy.
      But thank you!
      XO
      WWW

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  7. My dear WWW, joy can be had finding pieces of driftwood (and a yellow pepper).

    Bear hug, gently,

    U

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    1. Absolutely Ursula, with out eyes open we can drink in the beauty. When they are shut (in terror, in pain) all joy is invisible.
      XO
      WWW

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  8. Wonderful news. As my mother told me once after I had recovered from a period of gloom, color has come back into your life.

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    1. What a great way of putting it Hattie. Yes. Drenched in colour again.
      XO
      WWW

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  9. I'm so pleased that you are getting better. I think after a period of gloom, everything looks fantastic when you feel sunnier.
    I'm feeling a bit down today. Hope it's a temporary thing as I feel I've done very well up to now.

    I think I'd look into the Afghan/knitting/crocheting industry. I do a lot for charity and this brings pleasure except when my hands & wrists scream out with pain.
    We must keep busy and carry on, though.
    Maggie x

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    1. Be gentle with yourself Maggie. You have come through so much.
      I was surprised when many requests to make custom afghans rolled in.
      it's good to creative an antidote to the darkness I find. That and naps. 😴
      XO
      WWW

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  10. Note to self: typing on the device means I write in indecipherable tongues.

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  11. That salad is so eye-catching. I want to make one like it.

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    1. Hi Gigi bade of chick peas then peppers cukes olives tomatoes celery and whatevers. 😋
      XO
      WWW

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  12. Glad things are going so much better now after a rather gloomy period. Yes, letting go of things that are dragging you down is very positive and helps you to move forward with a new vigour.

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  13. I hadn't realized that there were was a whole raft of "stuff" behind the grief Nick. So glad of the bereavement counselling which floodlit that and helped me come to terms with the casual cruelties and move away from the pain.
    XO
    WWW

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  14. Hope its holding Wise! Yes, do commerce with your beautiful knitting etc. Sell them on your blog and in facebook? Start with hats, mitts and scarfs?

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    1. No the regular knitting has no charm for me Betty. I love designing the afghans and telling stories with them. I think I'd custom do those for people, what do you think?

      XO
      WWW

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  15. I've been away for a bit, recovering from surgery, and then doing more lurking than commenting as I worked my way out of the post-anesthesia fog. I'm glad to have "come to" in time to read and fully absorb this post. What hard work it must have been to haul yourself into the sunlight again. May this summering of your spirit be a long one.

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    1. So sorry to hear about your surgery and illness Linda, I hope you are doing a little better now. I feel a fog has lifted from me. Like a new pair of eyes again. Even my humour came back :)

      XO
      WWW

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