Saturday, April 01, 2017

Away

In light of the horrific recent events unfolding in Holy Ireland, with babies starved, tossed into septic tanks and sold to the highest bidders by demonic clergy, please read here and here for further clarification. Bessborough is where I would have been interred like a few of my friends who were abandoned by their boyfriends or raped by relatives or priests.

If you need further enlightenment on these horrific crimes against humanity I thought to bring to light my own narrow escape story that I still grapple with emotionally. I'm trying to set my story all down and come to terms with it, but it still festers in my heart, it is still so difficult to speak of. And I don't. Because I cry. Writing is what I do best.

And in case you're wondering, everyone knew about these institutions. We girls lived in fear of them and pitied the poor creatures within them when we would visit - as privileged private school girls - to entertain them. But never speak to them. Contamination, you see. and looking back, us girls must have been obliviously rubbing further salt into their scalded souls.

And yes I've had the therapy and tried to establish an understanding of my past with the male members of my birth family, to no avail.

For seriously, how can any Irish man, no matter the age, understand the Ireland of 1966 when a frightened, pregnant young woman, not more than a girl, together with her young husband, made life changing decisions to protect themselves and their families from the cult that was the RC church in Ireland? And make no mistake, it was (and still is) a patriarchal, hypocritical cult, steeped in misogyny, condemning so-called "unmarried mothers" to a life time of slavery, their babies stolen and sold, or killed or starved. Or horrifically raped by the parish priests who had unlimited access to these vulnerable girls and children.


I was secretly five months pregnant at my wedding. A very tight girdle.

Away

A wedding ring away from a workhouse, a lifetime of indentured slavery.

A wedding ring away from a child kidnapped and sold.

A papal blessing away from tribal condemnation on a secret side altar of the parish church.

An emigration away from family disgrace and pursed lip judgement

A lonely birthing away from family joy and support, among strangers in a strange land

A frightened young couple away from all they knew dear, alone and terrified.

A baby born away, questioning the whys and wheres and hows of the banishment of her parents.

A lifetime away in a country which beckoned when Ireland closed its doors.


18 comments:

  1. It is so truly horrific I can't even imagine.

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    1. And still is to a huge degree Sharyn. Women will probably never have full bodily autonomy and many die as a result of this, not to mention the lack of choice.

      XO
      WWW

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  2. It was hard enough to deal with teen pregnancy and such in those days without the RC church piling in. Awful. That sort of thing wasn't much fun here either, but what happened in Ireland sounds barbaric.

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    1. And not even condoms were allowed in Ireland then, or books on the reproductive system or sexual experimentation. The government was the poodle for the RCs and still is. In collusion with these horrific institutions. Making scads of money off the backs of trafficked children and slave mothers.

      XO
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  3. Of course we've known of this before, probably in my (your?) generation also going on in Newfoundland (and New Brunswick). Is this part of Ireland mostly Catholic? Did this happen mostly with Catholic girls/young women?

    I vividly remember being terrorized and beaten by a female teacher, grade one. She used to grab my hands and force alphabet letters out of them, until she cracked the pencils and sometimes left me with blood and splinters. She made me stand in a wastepaper basket "This is where garbage goes". And she picked me up by my shoulders and slammed me repeatedly against the wall, my head at her head height. I was so terrified of I wet my pants, and had also taken to running away until they forced other children to hold me there, and then I would throw up in fear.

    Turned out, long story short, she was an ex-Nun. She was removed from the school to teach elsewhere. This would have been 1949 ish. For the rest of my school days, on into high school, I had the distinction of the highest Hooky record and they only passed me because I wrote an essay at each exam, and then left. I knew I'd get full points which was 60 and that's all they were going to get from me, to forever.

    I heard adults our age at the Truth and Reconcilliation Commission hearings talk about being raped with a broomstick, and more.

    What God created these people?

    Somehow, I find, the things we were able to push away, with resolve, drink or pie (!) come crashing in on us in the 7th, haha we're still here you didn't banish us at all.

    xxx Love and courage to you. To us all. Despised females.

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    1. I neglected to say, seems I thought you'd all know and find the words redundant, that the monsters raping little Indigenous children with broomsticks were Nuns.

      Pious holy women, the pride of their families. God didn't give them the rapey equipment the brothers used, so they improvised.

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  4. Horrible story, and I wish you healing and peace. My ancestors left Ireland for a much more prosaic reason -- they were starving to death.

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    1. I guess there are many ways of starving Tom. I was starved of familial support in my own desperation. And of my country.

      The Irish genocide can be laid at the feet of the British overlords who thought there was far too many of us. Precursor for Nazi Germany.

      XO
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  5. You have survived and have done that very successfully. Your story is very inspiring. I am sure that you will continue to be so. My best wishes.

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    1. Thanks Ramana. Though the scarring never quite heals and the brain scrabbling continues to try making sense of it all.

      XO
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  6. It's all really horrifying. No wonder it has left you fragile.
    I think in all walks of society things then, were very different from today, though it seems that there's still monsters about everywhere.
    Maggie x

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    1. Murder and slavery and trafficking are manifestations of true evil, Maggie. Especially from an institution who preach live and compassion and tolerance. They are yet to apologise to the women and babies so affected or women forced to flee their country.
      I can never justify reprehensible behaviour with "the times".

      XO
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  7. I couldn't read those articles again Wise - had read them in the Guardian and once was enough! Man's [and Women's] inhumanity to man ............ turns my stomach.........

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    1. Truly sickening Betty and I know some of the women far more damaged than I was.

      I will continue the fight and throw the light into the dark corners. The RCs are a vile and evil cult.

      XO
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  8. Two of the calls I made this morning were in opposition to Texas Senate Bill 25 and 258, both passed by the state senate and onto the House next. The first would allow physicians to withhold information about the condition of the fetus if the physician fears that giving such knowledge would lead to the abortion of the fetus, such as in the case of terrible malformations or conditions. It's discussed as a protection against malpractice suits against the physician, but we all know what it and the other bill are meant to do. You were right when you replied in a previous comment that this fight will probably never end. I hardly know what to say about your terrifying ordeal, except to say that some of us are still fighting.

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  9. I continue to fight as well, Linda. I'm working on an article for one of the Irish newspapers. I keep saying our rights are eroding and regressing and most feminists agree with me. These archaic laws and the continued attempts to remove women's rights over their own bodies are frightening. I'm re-reading The Handmaid's Tale. It was woefully predictive in its time and now.

    XO
    WWW

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  10. Did you see the movie "The Magdalene Sisters"? I watched it with my mother, who gave birth before she was married to my oldest sister and gave her up for adoption. We both cried watching it. It's a pure evil what those homes did to young women and children.

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    1. Also Philomena, SAW, be sure to see that. Evil is too kind a word, methinks. The depth of murder, child trafficking and abuse is beyond words.

      XO
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