Wednesday, April 05, 2017

Blog Jam


This is a joke I posted on Facebook. I love jokes that are clever and clean and have a surprise at the end.


Laugh of the day~~~

"You're both in your nineties," said the judge to the elderly couple, "Married 70 years! Why would you want a divorce now?"

Said the old woman: " We were waiting for the children to die."

I have a film crew coming on Sunday to make a short film in my house as it is old and hasn't been drastically renovated but has the original exterior and interior. Interesting, I think. Now I'm thinking it's a huge disruption. Then again......

I had two rejection letters. How do you deal with rejection? I had loved these two submitted pieces, and so did others, so I felt rather very crushed and then got so busy later that I forgot to feel sad but now that I'm here at the end of the day I've got time to brood and flay and tell myself give up, I'm useless. So I'm writing here instead for the 4 or 5 that do read me and appreciate. Thanks guys.

Yesterday, I visited my friends whose daughter died and actually made them laugh helplessly about the first marriage proposal I received out here in the Far East. Have I told you I've had hilarious marriage proposals? I will some day. It could be a book. I always cry in my car when I leave my friends, I can't imagine their suffering. Now they are putting their daughter's Jeep and house on the market. She was only 40 and death stalked in, in the middle of the night, and grabbed her. A congenital heart defect. I discuss books with him, he's an avid reader of all things Newfoundland - he was a coast guard in his time - and make them both laugh. I don't plan it that way but I'm glad it works out that way when I visit. Getting out of bed is their enormous act of courage for the day.

I had this friend, well, she's more of an acquaintance. When I moved here she'd phone me about once a month. Strange conversations. She'd never a ask a question but would launch into a sort of list of people who'd let her down by not phoning/dropping in/not picking her up/not letting her know about events, etc. She had a stroke many years ago, I remember visiting her every day in the hospital, not an easy thing as the location of her hospital was both a subway and streetcar ride away from where I was headquartered then in downtown Toronto. But I knew visits to her would be minimal or zero from others during the day as she lived way out in the outlying suburbs and the hospital was in the west end. And there were other occasions too when I filled in as her caretaker on weekends away. All this to say, I was up against myself in dealing with her. I never felt close to her but I would still feel guilty, the stroke for one, and the fact she didn't establish deep friendships with anyone mainly because her demands never stop when you're with her. There are always extras you have to do and there is no acknowledgement of driving out of your way or picking up extra stuff along the route. And then guilt again for feeling like that. It's a vicious cycle. I dropped my landline months back and now I'm just on mobile. And of course she doesn't have that number. But lawdie, now she's phoned many of my friends to demand my mobile number but none feel they want to give it to her. So today she calls a buddy in Florida and he immediately puts her request for me to phone her right away on my FB wall. She is tenacious. And truthfully, normally I don't think about her at all. Guilt again.

So yes, I will call her. If I don't forget yet again. I need to brace myself. I don't wish for more friends to get harassed by her. There's none as queer as folks. If it were me, I would have given up long ago and put it down to disinterest and move on. But not J.

I take official possession of my home in the city tomorrow. Exciting times. Though I won't be moving there full time until the fall for there's a lot to wind down here over the next few months.

So new pastures, new opportunities await. Sadness too at leaving this little paradise behind.

But I'm ready.






23 comments:

  1. Perhaps her persistence and strange behavior stem in part from the stroke but also from knowing that she could trust you, deeper connection not withstanding? I have discovered that at this point, many of my deeper connections have died, leaving me somewhat reluctant to form new ones...and what is a deep connection for one may not be so for another. I hope you love your new home and find nurturance and comfort there.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. E I neglected to mention pre-stroke she was like this too, perhaps worse in many ways.

      Thank you for your reflection on the situation. She must be desperately lonely and completely unaware of how she impacts others. Though she is long time married. But. I will be kinder. It costs nothing. Knit away while she's on speaker. Good for the soul.
      XO
      WWW

      Delete
    2. This surely must be dementia caused by her stroke. Losing all colour in one's speech, inability to communicate easily, vocabulary limited, lack of interest. Passivity too. Many people think if you have stroke and dementia you get aggressive. Not always so.

      Delete
    3. No she's always been like this. She was nastier pre-stroke. Truly.thecstrojecsoftened her a bit but not enough.
      Harsh? Yeah. But true.

      XO
      WWW

      Delete
  2. Those people who are endlessly demanding and pestering are a pain in the neck, but for the reasons you give, hard to break free of. But I think somehow you need to break free, because people like that just end up sucking the life out of you.

    I like the joke about the old couple!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The lack of self awareness is what gets me Nick. And for such a long post I'm trying to work it out. I declined her and her hubbie's coming to visit me for a week several years back as he would be golfing all the time leaving me (he has a pattern) to cope.She has no curiosity. At all.
      But I'll be kinder.
      XO
      WWW

      Delete
  3. a film crew arrived at my old farm house about 35 years ago
    interesting but a mess but did clean up. a movie with Reba
    best wishes on your eventual move. I am planning but hopefully can stay here with limited help. With another fall
    2 days ago - do not know what the future holds. told to use
    walker - and I do not want to :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm with you Ernestine. Hate using my cane. I feel I am less me. Not a vanity thing at all but a different shape to my personality.

      Gawd we are feisty against this dying of the light.

      XO
      WWW

      Delete
  4. Now I'm thinking since you're vacating it, I shouild rent it? Oh wouldn't that be wonderful. Such a dream. Thank goodness I still have em.

    I can't even fathom the pain of your friends who've lost their daughter. What courage it will take to 'live' the rest of their lives in constant mourning, even when they pretend hard not to be I'm sure. I never knew fear until I had my child.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No I'm selling up. Clean break.

      It gets much more lonely when you lose a child as very few understand and thstsxwhst they're up against with others. I have a missing daughter who could be dead so I know it never leaves. Ever.

      XO
      WWW

      Delete
  5. Rejection and writing go together like pepper and salt, like Bonnie and Clyde, like ... well you get the point. It's always disappointing, but don't take it personally.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What other way is there to take it? LOL.

      I knoe especially when one feels it's really good stuff.....

      XO
      WWW

      Delete
  6. I have a friend who is struggling with issues around her helpless, demanding neighbor. This neighbor has a son who does nothing for her. The demands come about, I think, because the person who is really wanted does not help, and the default caregiver gets all the flack.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I do believe you're correct Hattie. And of course it is a self-fulfilling prophecy, the more we believe we are lonely and unattended, the more we live it.

      XO
      WWW

      Delete
  7. I don't know - there are some friendships not worth maintaining.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. History comes into it, I think. And compassion. And I truly despise how I feel afterwards.

      XO
      WWW

      Delete
  8. All the very best in your new set up.

    Don't take too long to write about the marriage proposals. Sounds very interesting.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL Ramana - I must. Particularly in light of the fact I make the very worst spousal material, traditionally speaking.

      XO
      WWW

      Delete
  9. Here's how I handle rejection letters: I allow myself a day of wallowing in sorrow and lamentations. Next I move straight into I'll-show-them mode. And, occasionally, when I'm preparing the manuscript to be submitted elsewhere again, I find ways to make it better, after all.

    I read a profile of a new editor at a publishing house that focused on non-fiction. She said that she loved books about cats but would return any manuscripts she received about dogs. She wasn't a dog person and didn't want to spend all that time ushering a book about dogs through the editing and publication process. Reading that comment helped me move away from feeling personally rejected. I once had an agent with a stellar firm. She loved my books, and she sold them. When she left after being offered an editor's job for a regional magazine, the replacement agent hated my work and dropped me from the agency. Manuscripts are rejected because they're not good enough, but they're also rejected when the editor fears that the writer won't take editing suggestions well, the publishing house has just accepted a similar book, and for all kinds of other reasons that might not have anything to do with the quality of the writing. You are sending them out again, right? And, meanwhile, working on your next plays, books, articles or poems?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Linda. Very insightful and helpful. I've been jotting down ideas like I normally do since I was about 6. Yes I will send them out again, ma'am. I hope you're doing well in your endeavours.

      XO
      WWW

      Delete
  10. I've never had this experience, but if I did, I would query the local daily paper about buying a couple stories (if it's short stories) or excerpts. This would gain a reading audience (because you're good!) and can be presented with future publishing house queries.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have been published many times. But thank you for your words of support.

      XO
      WWW

      Delete
    2. Well yes I know that. I just meant, for this book. I always think periodical are better than books which few can afford anyway even before digital. Periodicals offer thousands of readers.

      Delete

Some of you are having trouble, I've removed captcha and verification so we'll see how that goes. My apologies. Blogger is putting up far too many roadblocks. Thanks for the emails alerting me.
wisewebwomanatgmail.com