Wednesday, February 07, 2018

Dear Diary

Dear Diary:

I'm sure you're very bored with all this nonsense regarding my holdings of 7 acres and its numerous outbuildings, far too numerous to count, that is holding me and my future financial security hostage. I've practised much mindfulness and letting go and shifting importances. And it works, most of the time.

And that window thing? I started that again as we know D, that if the current permutation of this sale goes through I will have to supplement my sad pensions and OAS. So I restarted the window thing the other morning. I witness dawn every day. And right now it is magical as we know. No snow, glorious sun (casting climate change concerns away from me) so I threw out my arms as I used to do when 5 employees were depending on me for their livelihood and welcomed work, interesting work, a project, any non-physical work.

And lo and behold, D, there it was, a distant contact emailed me and asked if I was interested in cleaning up some theatre matters. A bit of a shambles on the books and with grant season coming up? Offered to pay me in advance too, the best kind of client. So yes, I'm started on that - it's all remote work too which is even better - and with many theatre companies in Newfoundland this could be a cottage industry, who knows. And D, did I mention comps? Free tickets for all performances.

So D tonight I'm walking along the gallery (to retrieve my (free) laundry) overlooking our gorgeous community room when the piano strains of The Parting Glass drifts upwards and I stop and lean over and start to sing the words, softly, and the pianist finishes and discussion ensued. My voice is sorta back after a long absence. She plays in a small band and was rehearsing. She's 80 I'd say. I mentioned I'd like to play, practice for a while, I played daily for my own pleasure for years but piano in absentia has been a hole since I moved to Newfoundland 14 years ago. So yes, I'm going to play again and, bonus D, I really liked her, I love seeing older-than-me folks thoroughly engaged with life.

Also I'm feeling better, don't know how this is. I still have 2 more tests to get by. But gift-horses and mouths come to mind D, so we'll just roll with that and play The Parting Glass, shall we?



21 comments:

  1. Glad to know some things are looking up for [you and that you're in a better frame of mind!

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    Replies
    1. Yes, thank you E. The tunnel of darkness can seem interminable at times and nothing really has changed to improve my financial picture but the attitude has.

      Delightful meeting Lukas!!

      XO
      WWW

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  2. It's good to know someone's 'looking after you' and there'll be a little extra cash coming your way.
    I can hear the joy in your heart at being able to make music again - maybe you'll get a spot in the band when your fingers are nible again
    Cathy

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    1. It would be fun Cathy, so glad I took the time to stop and sing.

      Doors opening indeed.

      XO
      WWW

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  3. Rightho! A big thumbsup from India to you.

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  4. Positive vibes; I love it. Financial worries are so tough as we get older, that I know for sure. I am in a position I never thought in a million years that I would be. But, I will somehow manage. I spent the last 20 years of a horrible, horrible 30-year marriage being a doormat and depressed and every other rotten thing you can think of. No more. I may be poverty stricken but I will survive. Because I am choosing to be strong. I just must.

    And that version of The Parting Glass is simply the best.

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    Replies
    1. Elle, they can seem an unreachable climb at times but I've let it go in the last week and attended some group support meetings and got my priorities rejigged. So sorry to hear you have similar challenges but we will survive.

      A friend in my building told me if things get very rough the board makes adjustments for affordability. Balm for the worried soul.

      XO
      WWW

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  5. Replies
    1. Good motto there, Ernestinc - "Do. Not. Stop."

      I'm adopting it.

      XO
      WWW

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  6. Yes, WWW, things are looking up - and thanks for that great rendition of the Parting Glass.

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    1. Isn't it the best though? Best funeral anthem ever.

      XO
      WWW

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  7. This all sounds so marvelous. I wish you well with all of the new things coming your way.

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    Replies
    1. Anticipation is often better than reality, don't you think? Or like my father's mantra was: "Always have something to look forward to."

      XO
      WWW

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  8. So glad things are looking up...and thank you for The Parting Glass. I needed that, chills and tears and all!

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    1. It's such a brilliant version, I never tire of it. And to hear the piano version the other night was goosebumps.

      XO
      WWW

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  9. Good for you WWW! Storms never last, some do leave lots of clearing up, but the air always feels clearer, maybe that's the good feeling you're enjoying. Maybe now other dominoes will start to fall (dang! Another metaphor!) and clear your way forward, financially. :)

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    Replies
    1. I hope so T, it has taken a toll and I don't know how we climb out of a pit but it happens. Thanks for your good wishes :)

      XO
      WWW

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  10. Those sound like some positive changes - good you are singing again!

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    Replies
    1. Yes in spite of no news on the house, I'm in the mindset that it's someone else's problem and they can sort it. Onward.

      XO
      WWW

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