Friday, February 09, 2018

Elder Musings

~~I am thrilled with a new project I was fortunate enough to get.

~~However, I am slower, do you guys of elder vintage find that tackling work that was formerly a kind of I-can-do-this-with-one-hand- tied-behind-my-back is now an-all-hands-on-deck situation? And speaking of all hands I find that a sporadic carpal tunnel problem I had returned and boy was it a challenge to heal, older tissues, repetitive strain injuries take triple the time to heal including an arm splint to bed, oh gawd was that awful. I digress, it is now healed with the odd twinge to remind me not to abuse it again.

~~I'm also aware that the the 30+age gap between my clients and myself has me faltering a lot with business language. It's not that I don't know it, it's that it is more difficult to retrieve out of my brain files, particularly in business conversations. This morning on a 3-way conference call I found myself fumbling mentally with what term I could use for my PC(personal computer rather than my smart phone), thinking: is PC still used? So I blurted "Main frame." Now there's a blast from the past. I've been 40 years using these suckers. They let it go, tho surely they must wonder what I meant or what decade of the ought-oughts I was in.

~~See what I mean?

~~My wee friend whom I've mentioned before (under 30) wants a coffee date late tonight and my mind immediately goes to bedtime interruptus now: my nightly routines of a bit of Netflix, my book, my games of online scrabble and I want to decline but hey, I know this stuff is good for me too. Break the old routines, get out there.

~~Daughter wants me to meet 2 of her friends and host them to brunch in my place next weekend and I'd thought: no more of these get-togethers when I moved here, just hermitize. And hermitizing has not been good as my inner slob takes over and things need to be put away rather than gaped at in puzzlement as to where to put them. There's very little excess, but photographs, binders of writing, old laptop, wools, crafting supplies, multiple unhung pictures, you get it. But I mulled and thought well: incentive. In the past friends and I always joked that the best housekeeping system is to entertain once a month and I've followed that for years and years now. So yes, I need to do this, there's nothing like new friends and seriously I'm quite proud that Daughter likes to air me and share me. The maternal age-gap has shrunk between us which is quite lovely. And rare. And I treasure it.

~~Impatience with myself - that internal voice. I must slow down as I drop things in my speedy old way of doing things. Spoons, pens, phone, blue tooth ear piece, papers and I find myself castigating myself. Slow down, honour the crone.

~~One thing at a time is important. I can't do everything in one day and mornings are the best. So I do one thing on the to do list every day, or more if I can manage it, and the current day's wee jobs too, but I list them all as I learned in that Living with Chronic Diseases Workshops so I know that I've accomplished something at the end of the day, even if it's self care.

PS Photo is not me, but hey, I can sometimes feel like that.


20 comments:

  1. I'm amazed at the busy schedule you've always had up till now. It's not surprising age is catching up with you and you're slowing down a bit. I must say I've always avoided taking too much on so I have plenty of time to myself and the age-related slow-down isn't much of a problem.

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  2. Nick: You had the luxury of choice, I certainly didn't. Single divorced mother, never earning the equivalent of men. I remember one time having 3 jobs just to stitch it all together. My story not unusual. Talk to any single mom.

    A privileged life like yours would have been a dream for me. You were very fortunate.

    XO
    WWW

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  3. Talk to any single woman, you mean...I worked through both tours of grad school, then in my forties with a disability, looking for more work and being underemployed...

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    1. For sure, E, my single women friends had the same paycheque to paycheque existence. If I had been a man I would have earned twice my pay. On top of that the kids. Men haven't a clue as to what we had to suffer and do.

      XO
      WWW

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  4. So much of what you've written here rings a bell for me too. Bringing a word or a name to mind quickly; minor bits of bodily healing taking much longer than they once did; a general lack of enthusiasm for making the effort to get out and about - whereas a few years ago I was always 'ready to go!' A little pressure has to be applied to our willpower at times, doesn't it, but as long as it keeps having the right effect...we'll be fine! You sound to be managing famously well, WWW. Great stuff!

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    1. So true T. And backing away from distress and conflict also, it takes such a huge toll. I'm letting the lawyers and realtors fight my situation out now as I find it too stressful to deal with.

      XO
      WWW

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  5. I'm not sure I ever knew you were a single mother. I'm very aware of the huge pressures on single mothers, who get precious little help from the rest of society. I'm also aware of the large number of people doing two or three jobs just to keep afloat. Jenny knows someone who actually has five jobs. As you say, I'm very privileged and I know it.

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    1. I've written about it a lot over the years, Nick but hey :)

      I'm lucky I have a skill set as I'd have to resort to Walmart greeter and I'm not too steady on my pins, but yesterday I notice an old woman in a wheelchair greeting at the doors and I thought: well, that's an option.

      And no, it's not funny, it is terribly sad that us oldies are forced to work to make ends meet. And I feel privileged having a skill set to work in my PJs at home.

      XO
      WWW

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  6. I find it interesting that you still get excited about work. I increasingly find getting out of my comfort zone and routine unwelcome. Recently I had to receive and entertain a dear friend from overseas and for three days, I could not wait for it all to end as I wanted the comfort of the routine that was disturbed by this development. My friend sensed this without my having said anything and cut short his visit and left this afternoon.

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    1. Well Ramana, needs must and I'd rather have work I enjoy than drudgery at a retail location as some of my 70+ friends have to do. It's a horror story out there for older single women with laughable pensions.

      I agree with you on guests, how I cherish my solitude now :)

      XO
      WWW

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  7. We may be a little slower, but we still get the job done . . . and often more accurately and thoroughly than the millennials do.

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    1. And take it more seriously too, I think. I know I do, Tom.

      XO
      WWW

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  8. I dog-sit (which I love) to supplement my freelance income (medical editor). I was happily looking forward to getting a check from my latest batch of dogs...and this morning my dryer broke. Bit the dust. Has been fixed several times now; no choice but to replace. And there goes my dog $$$ that I was going to stash away for a rainy day...I thought about crying but decided against it and tried to think of how lucky I was to have that $$$ from the dogs. And yes, this is what older, single women worry about.

    I have to admit your "main frame" comment made me laugh. Thank you!

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    1. I'm with you on this, every time something broke at my house I was panicked. Another shredding of the little income I made. For years I hung my clothes as I couldn't afford to get my dryer fixed, a bad install, and the guy refused to come back, black economy, no paper trail. So racks were my friend and my wood stove and the clothesline in the summer. When I finally got the dryer reinstalled I was ecstatic, especially during tourist season and massive turnovers of linens and towels. Small things like this still make me happy.

      At least now I'm in an apartment where I call the super to fix whatevers. And free laundry, I still can't get over that.

      XO
      WWW

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  9. I so relate to this post, WWW !

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  10. Main frame! Hee hee! I'm only 55 but I sometimes cannot, fo r the life of me, come up with the word I mean.

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    1. I know, I was back with the IBM 34 with its own large dehumidified room talking to 30+ers.

      Losing my nouns as the great Sandra Shamas put it :)

      XO
      WWW

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  11. Hello from Alberta, Canada ... I just turned 62, and not long ago at work I told myself: "You can do it, only 3 more years." ... Ya ... Love, cat.

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    1. Ah you're a baby for sure. Tho I wouldn't go back there.

      XO
      WWW

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