Monday, April 23, 2018

Fine Friends


I was horrifed and shocked to get an email from a friend of long standing today. He was just diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer, esophagus, stomach and liver. He had an overlying condition for a few months, an antibiotic resistant bacteria, and then: wham.

He is a man of integrity and honour, a world lecturer and traveller and I always felt joyful and respected and understood in his company.

Sometimes we don't realise that such feelings are mutual. But I do. His last book had the most wonderful dedication to me. I was humbled by it.

We had many lunches and business interactions and book exchanges that evolved into a deep and abiding friendship. I had written a little poem about his mother way back in the day when he had said he didn't feel he could articulate how important her life was to him. He read it, much to my surprise, at her funeral.

He visited Newfoundland twice and he, a world traveller, fell so in love with the place that he took close to 10,000 pictures the first time he was here.

I am so saddened by this, I find it hard to articulate my grief.

This long death roll does wrap itself around my heart, so many dear ones gone, closer than family.

What I do when this shyte unfolds is to send little cards of remembrance in the mail, something to brighten the days of the beloved dying, to assure that yes, you are so very important to me, you are loved and remembered, you are one of the dear ones.

And I don't shirk from what they are facing.






12 comments:

  1. I am so sorry for yet another loss to you and for him. You have said it all so well---the cards, flowers, tears and words we all share in the process of not shirking--many hugs to you.

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  2. I am so sorry. We are at an age where there are just so many goodbyes. I’m glad you have so many good memories of this fine person.

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  3. I just recently found your blog and I do so enjoy it. This kind of sorrow wraps around your heart and touches your soul. Just know you have many friends here who would gladly help if we were closer. Stay strong my dear lady and know that we care.

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  4. Oh, WWW -what can I say? News such as this, coming so unexpectedly, can knock us sideways. I sincerely feel for you - and of course for your dear suffering friend too.

    You have the talent to put your feelings into words so well.

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  5. So sorry to hear that. Yet another imminent loss when you've suffered so many recently.

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  6. Of course I can't understand exactly what you're feeling as you learn of your friend's diagnosis, but my brother died March 14 of esophageal cancer. He demanded that we not tell his old friends, as he wanted no pity, but I had already told a mutual friend when he warned me. When she did contact him, her calls and messages meant so much to him. I know yours will when you send your missives to your friend, too.

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    1. I am so sorry for your loss Linda, how dreadful to lose your brother. Deepest condolences.
      Hugs.

      XO
      WWW

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  7. Thank you all for your kind words.

    XO
    WWW

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  8. I am so sorry to hear about your friend. There is nothing I can say but your wish to communicate your affection is very good and is a bright spark of light.

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  9. So glad you don't shirk what's coming. It's harder on both parties, I think, remembering how my own mother wanted to be able to talk about what she was facing and then enduring. Your friend is lucky to be your friend.

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  10. Oh, I am so, so sorry. That's so very hard.

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