Sunday, April 08, 2018

Things I Don't Miss


Many talk of aging as something to be feared, the many losses: the loss of vitality. health, the so-called good old days, etc., but seriously, us oldies need to count all the things we don't miss, shall we?

(1)Menstruation, I menstruated for 40 years.

(2)Fear of pregnancy. My last scare? I was 52, thinking I was way beyond it. See 1.

(3)Hangovers.

(4)Getting up early, going to work and pretending I didn't have a hangover. See 3.

(5)Television

(6)Landlines

(7)Stilettos - seriously, what were we thinking?

(8)Make up - nothing like painting your face before throwing yourself out the door. Not.

(9)Hairdo maintenance - the cost alone, knowing presentability for the male gaze meant my employment or not.

(10)Performing femininity see 7,8,9

(11)A household to run plus two jobs to keep it all together. Single mom. 2 kids.

(12)Dating - see 10.

(13)Being always afraid of men when I was out alone running or coming home on a quiet street or late at night. And even of the male cops patrolling - with cause. Now I feel safe for the first time in a secure building with a well-lit parking lot, a resident administrator and emergency buttons.

(14)Being always broke, money never quite stretching to needs, never mind wants.

(15)Stress about all of the above.

I'm sure there are loads more.

I'd love to hear yours.

















17 comments:

  1. Pretty much ditto. I'm glad I am no longer near as self-conscious as I used to be, it seemed like I lived my life in fear of being found out (as a fake or an imposter or Not Good Enough) for most of my youth.

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    1. I had that experience when I emigrated Annie, feeling so inadequate in the sophistication of Canada. I lived in that fear for a long time.

      XO
      WWW

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  2. Oh this is fun!
    Things I don’t miss:

    All through my school days, girls could not wear pants. Freezing cold legs in the winter.
    Girdles.
    Pantyhose.
    Limited professional careers for women.
    Segregation. Schools, bathrooms, water fountains, buses.
    Lack of access to birth control.
    Lack of air conditioning. Fans were all we had at home, in school, and in cars.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. OMG Florence, yes, yes and yes. I would have chilblains on my legs from huddling over the coal fire in Ireland! Girdles, JFC. Say no more. :D

      XO
      WWW

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  3. Being a night owl by nature and having to fit into society's clock. When I was teaching, I would take an early evening nap. My mind is sharpest (whatever that means any more!) in the wee hours---- after midnight. Nowadays, I can sleep whenever I want! Also, having to drive in heavy traffic. Now, I go out when the least traffic is likely. Worrying about bills. Would there be enough money to go around? Knock on wood, not an issue now. I'm sure I will think of more.

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    1. Agree on all of that, but surprisingly this night owl finds that those hours, once longed for, then executed for a while, no longer agree with her. I am disappointed. But early hours work very well. Maybe it's the sunlight. Not sure.

      Oh lawd, you reminded me of the 16 lane highway in Toronto I had to drive twice a day for work. For years.

      Unimaginable now :)

      XO
      WWW

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  4. The only thing that readily comes to mind is being in the rat race. Your post has inspired me and I will work on it to write a similar post in my blog soon.

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    1. I think possibly Ramana that male and female experiences may be quite different in our working worlds, women always carry the burden of child care in unequal shares too along with job(s) if also supporting them. I know I envied the men I worked with, having all the nitpicky child and house shyte taken care of.

      And it's only now the world is waking up to this unfair load of additional unpaid labour.

      XO
      WWW

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  5. I can say a hearty "Hear hear!" to most of your list, WWW.

    Though I enjoyed my working life, I've enjoyed the FREEDOM of retirement far more.

    I still mess with my hair quite a lot, though gave up the pesky colouring some years ago. I kid myself that messing with my hair feeds my artistic urges. ;-) I cut and style it myself, almost always have, so only cost is for "product" to assist in volume etc. Maybe in coming years (if there are some) that remaining vanity habit will disappear as well, but for now I'm hanging on to it like something of a life raft.



    ReplyDelete
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    1. Looking back, there was some of the working life I enjoyed, as I truly feel I broke down a lot of barriers for women managers. Never forgetting that I only earned about 60% of the male management dollars (I also supervised payroll). And fighting that would have had me fired as there were too many others out there who would settle for being paid this injustice.

      I truly wish I could cut my own hair. But tomorrow is the big day of Bernice slicing and dicing mein head.

      XO
      WWW

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  6. As I sit here in tears...
    Suits
    Pantyhose
    Male bosses
    Hangovers and waking up in strange places...
    Getting hit in cars
    Getting up at the crack of dawn
    Being stuck in traffic...

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    1. I'm sorry if you're upset E :( But it's interesting that so many of us don't miss a thing about our former lives.

      The capitalistic patriarchal culture did a lot of us in.

      XO
      WWW

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    2. I agree...tears were for a friend, not me...

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    3. Yes I read your post. I'm so sorry.
      Hugs.

      XO
      WWW

      Delete
  7. The two good things that came of my cervical cancer was the end of periods and pregnancy scares. I was 48, and had just miscarried in the previous year.

    I've also let go of coloring my hair, and the vast majority of the time, no make-up nail polish, or heels.

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  8. I agree with most of your list, but do still enjoy tv. I’m curious about what you, WWW, and also Twilight, do about hair...I like my natural color, and am trying to figure out what is practical to do with it. Would love to not be at the mercy of hairdressers!

    I don’t miss child raising, but enjoy grandchildren.
    Have far fewer clothes, and almost always wear pants and low heels.

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  9. The thing I love the most is I no longer have to sugar coat everything I say. I don't have to be politically correct. If you ask for my opinion, you are going to get the truth whether you want to hear or not.
    I love your blog. You have inspired me.

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