Two wonderful Australian friends visited and took me here for dinner.
I told them (to much laughter) I had arranged for this cruise ship to leave as we ate dinner to enhance their harbour experience.
I get frustrated with this old age business. I'm finding lately I lose patience with myself. A lot.
There is so much on my plate and I want to tackle it all at once, just like the old days, quickly wipe my hands together and get on with the rest.
But no. I'm finding more and more I need a whole day's break between a busy day's activities.
I was complaining to Daughter yesterday about this and she said, as well she might: "Mum, you're 80 years old, that's normal!"
I don't care for this new normal.
The way my body cramps up and exhausts itself and falls down into sleep at weird times.
And then, like today, I remind myself of how sick how I was just a few years ago when the pain wouldn't allow me sleep in my bed but curled up in a chair, where I needed a wheelchair to get anywhere, where tests and procedures ran my life and those of my family, where I couldn't stand long enough to get even my breakfast put together and had to send my laundry out and I feel a flood of gratitude that I am still here and more mobile but need to honour my body, my outlook, my life and yes, ADAPT, my motto. And remain grateful in my self-reminders of how far I've come.
So I will pace myself and know my limitations. Say no, politely and nicely and do the things I do best and there are many and it takes a long, long time for us to know we are precious and amazing and talented and are worthy.
Our one wild, extraodinary life waits for us to wake up.
Every single day.
I have been fortunate. I am eighty years old and can still walk fifteen km without even breaking a sweat. We are just at the end of a vacation on Vancouver Island, and we have walked extensively every day, often on steep elevations. My wife has one of those Fitbit things, and 10,000 steps seems to be a benchmark. Most days we have approached 20,000. I know this good health can’t last forever, but I sure plan to make good use of it while it does! All the best - David
ReplyDeleteGood for you David. I am always happy to hear about others crossing the eighty mark in good health but I think you know you are in a very small percentage? I've lost so many blog friends and real life friends before they jumped that fence. I put it all down too good genes and sheer good luck unless someone shows me otherwise. I was taken completely by surprise when I got so ill but one of my docs put it down to being in horrific grief after losing 9 dear friends in the space of about 18 months. I've observed this in others, something snaps when confronted with overwhelming grief and the body breaks down.
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Good genes it is, or put another way, sheer luck! I can’t claim to have lived an especially virtuous life and only in recent years have I carefully watched what I eat etc. I have, however, been active all of my life and have lived outdoors, so perhaps that has something to do with it.
DeleteI hear you. How I hear you. As you know.
ReplyDeleteYes, EC. Absolutely you do! And like your good self, we try and not write about it publicly too often.
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Adapting is the way to go I've heard, but we can still be envious of people like David and his wife, right?
ReplyDeleteYes, we're a allowed a little bit of that green monster River!
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I'm "only" 64 and finding myself tired around suppertime lately. By 8:30, Scott and I are often looking at each other, asking "Is it too early to go to bed?" We tell ourselves we're yawning because we were up at 6 a.m. but it does seem strange anyway. We have yet to learn to listen to our bodies and not our idea of what our bodies "should" be doing. Working on it.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure glad to hear you are feeling so much better. -Kate
Yes, the body dictates our wellbeing and not our minds much as we would wish it. Honour the bloody body is so difficult for those of us former multi-taskers imagining the world on our shoulders types. But I am getting better at seeing "No." Did it today in fact, yay me.
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What absolutely lovely views from the restaurant.
ReplyDeleteAt times I feel like stopping young people in the street and telling them how much they did need to enjoy their fitness and good health as it won't always be that way.
You are doing so much better than I expected back a couple of years ago.
Thank you Andrew, all are astounded, including my Oz friends who kept remarking on it to me, I hadn't realized how much S... I looked back a few short years ago. Death's Door comes to mind.
DeleteNow it's a question of pacing and embracing the life I have left.
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The instructor in one fitness class tells us constantly to put down one or both weights if they are making the routine uncomfortable. "Listen to your body!" I began doing that a long time ago. My left shoulder, that underwent a reverse shoulder replacement, cannot do everything my right shoulder can. Listen to your body, for sure.
ReplyDeleteA good reminder, can't be said enough, Joanne. I have to always fight the feeling that I am so ashamed when I'm tired or "can't do" like I used to.
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That body. Betraying us often as not. We have to adapt but it is a hard lesson to swallow.
ReplyDeleteHard lessons, the mind is so very willing and so flesh so very weak. Yes, Charlotte.
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Yellow Shoes
ReplyDeleteThat phrase 'listen to your body" has started to make sense.
Last night I was watching a drama series and wanted to watch the next episode.
My head said - its only 11.30, I never go to bed before 12, I'll watch the next episode.
My body said - No, this is how you feel now. go to bed!
At last I did what I was told!
I'm the same YS, streaming a series and gasping to know what happens. Discipline in all things comes late in life to me. I regretfully shut off "Dear Child" recently at Episode 3 and felt like a grownup.
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When I lament to my doctor about not being able to do what I once did, she touts it up to getting older. I saw cardiologist last week about the tiredness, thinking it might have to do with my heart. Lots of tests ordered but her initial exam says all is fine and these tests will set the baseline for everything going forward. My mother died from a stroke, my paternal grandmother had two pacemakers during her 87 years but. died from pure orneriness. My sister dropped dead after a day of Christmas shopping, unloading all the packages from her car, and making her pot of coffee. Somewhere in there is probably my future.
ReplyDeleteIs that a grim view of life I perceive Delaine or plain resignation to what miight be yours. You always appear so full of energy to me. But then again, I appear like that to many when I am crying for my bed and looking exhausted to boot. I'm scheduled for labwork as I am twice the tired I was and might need another infusion.
DeleteOh dear, the slithering slope of old age is upon us.
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I hope you feel better and that the weather isn't too bad in your area.
ReplyDeleteThanks e. The storm bypassed the island but hit the close mainland badly with downed trees, etc. and those terrible winds.
DeleteAs one of my friends put it: It gives Insomnia a brand new definition.
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It's frustrating that my energy levels are gradually dropping and I can't do as much as I used to. I can only be grateful that at least I'm still fairly healthy as yet and don't need to be "looked after". It's good that you're a lot fitter than you were a few years ago.
ReplyDeleteYes, thank you Nick, a lot better in some ways but oh the lack of energy, the need to crash and crash NOW gets to me. But I am grateful for the times I am horizontal and fully engaged with my activism and workshops.
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I've been much absent the last year, overwhelmed by a year's time that began with an appendectomy that turned up appendix cancer (early, okay now) and sent me home from the hospital with a bout of C-Diff and the knowledge that the nurses who glanced at my sleeping husband and asked me, "Are you sure he's okay to drive you home?" were seeing the same signs I'd been seeing but not not yet sure were significant. My suspicions have since been confirmed: he's in mild cognitive decline by testing, but his intelligence and high education may be masking a more profound move toward the dementia his mother and grandmother experienced. Skip forward a year, and the caretaker he thinks is being introduced for my sake took him on the rounds to the bakery and a restaurant this morning since I'm recovering from a back surgery. This surgery, he stayed home and my daughter accompanied me as he is "temporarily" unable to drive while the impact of anti-seizure drugs he was given for peripheral neuropathy is assessed to determine if that's contributing to his cognitive issues. And, so I begin another journey alongside this man to whom I've been married for 54 years, and it's one I do joyfully but also fearfully that my body won't hold up to the task. It is luck and genes. I never smoked, rarely drank anything and stopped that years ago, exercised faithfully, lived mostly joyfully, and was grateful for my years. Yet, I have had two types of major cancers, had my nose remade a few months ago because of a mere "skin cancer," and have autoimmune and other problems. At 73, I've outlived the years of my mom, dad, brother, and both grandfathers, some by many decades. I'm determined to live with joy and as much laughter as possible--amazing when you let go of expectations for another how joyful the relationship can be--and was overjoyed to sign in here and see you feeling so much better. Happy 80th!
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