Yes, this is my 500th post. I can hardly believe it. This whole thing started in July of 2005. A lot of words, a lot of expounding and reflection, a lot of new friends made. Thank you all for reading me and offering me your excellent insights and support. I wouldn't be here without you!
And it's appropriate that I write today about a potential friend - alas now not to be - who fell into my life through this blog.
I often wonder what mythology I wrap myself up in as I go out there into previously unexplored territories. I’m talking about the possibility, or not, of forming a new friendship.
I imagine it’s impossible to take a long hard look at oneself and see the persona we present to the world.
I try not to sit in judgement of anyone. We are all fragile after all and I try and live by two main principles:
“My rights end exactly where yours begin.”
”Be kinder than necessary, everyone I meet is fighting some kind of battle.”
On the whole, this seems to work and stops me in judging others too much. It was a major defect of character for me. I could get into the whys and wherefores of all of that but I won’t. At some point in our lives we have to take full responsibility for our behaviours and change them if they are causing us too much pain and pointing fingers backwards achieves nothing.
I met with someone the other day that I’d never met before. A reader of my blog who was intrigued enough to email me several times and then ask if I would meet with him for a coffee and chat.
Well, there’s no stopping me now, since I met Annie (my first F2F blog buddy encounter) so I agreed to meet with him. His emails had been delightful, he was well read, articulate and charming and in the same generation as myself. A no brainer.
Things went wrong rather rapidly. He was easy on the eye, well educated and insisted on hugging when we met (in a public place, I should add!).
I won’t get into all of what we talked about in the time we were together.
But amid normal conversation, he started several rants.
One was on people that use the “I” word all the time, one of which includes his son. He had no time for them, he wished they would all go away as he wasn’t interested in them.
One was on homosexuals, not that he had any problem with them, but he disliked how they conducted themselves with their limp wrested approach to life. I said I knew many homosexuals but none who behaved like he said and how on earth did they affect his passage on this planet? Silence. Did he know any personally? Silence.
The clincher came when I told him I was conducting writing workshops where I live.
I was treated to a rant about how I could never get anyone to participate, people ‘out there’ wouldn’t be interested, ‘they’ weren’t educated enough, I must be mental. I told him I had a waiting list. Silence.
I had this queasy feeling in my stomach as I stood up. I really don’t know what that was about except that perhaps I’m maybe too sheltered by dear and darling friends and don’t realize that these completely close-minded ignoramuses WALK AMONG US. And I’d just met one.
And yes, he’ll probably read this. And wonder why I won’t meet him again. Ever.