Mixed Feelings

My power animal {totem} is the owl given to me by a shaman many, many moons ago and supplemented by many little owls who have come to live with me over the years.

The price tag of moving away from nearest and dearest is quite high. I am reminded of this when I am with family and old friends in my present little sojourn in Toronto.

There are times when I can't even say goodbye, it sticks in my throat so much. There are certain friends that when I walk into their homes after a length of time it feels like we sat down yesterday. That is the way it was with a friend today. We just pick up where we left off. I have a few friends like that, how lucky am I? My friend in Dublin is the same. We just pick up the thread of the last email or phonecall and carry on across the kitchen table. The language of the heart. No barriers, no doors. Our lives to each other is as an open book.

I think it helps to cement friendships when you go through the tough times and out the other side over the years. With this friend, we say goodbye to each other before the night is over so I can slip away quietly when the time comes. Or I would cry. Or she would say: "I hate that you moved away, I hate it hate it hate it but I understand why you did it."

The rest of the week is more of the same, tomorrow is a mix of work and meeting an old, formerly estranged friend for dinner. A reconnection that lightens my heart when I think about it.

And the highlight of the week is a date with Grandgirl for dinner and show on Sunday. Just the two of us.