Monday, June 15, 2015

Better than.....

Sometimes we wait too long. I was at a 90th birthday party yesterday and whispered to my daughter "This is much better than a funeral, yeah?" and we both cracked up. Because it was. Ms E the celebrant - who looks like she has another 90 in her - was enjoying herself. Celebrating the slide show tribute, the multiple generations of her descendants, this fourth generation has produced girls for the first time, prior to then it was boyz and more boyz. She had six of her own who went on to produce countless more.

So I went on to ponder on "better thans".

This new technique to be used when I have stress or negative projections. Today is like, 9C, seriously. So I lit the fire. And thought: "This is better than snow and ice, remember your bad fall? Isn't this cosy?" And it is. I'm not reflecting on climate change and this weird chill and growing temperature challenges and...for also, "this is better than the stifling humid heat of Toronto where I lived for years and years."

As I knitted for an hour in the morning (goddess, how relaxing that is!) I thought to myself: "I'm doing way better with the arthritis - I thought my hands would be crippled with it when my thumbs started to ache so badly in the mornings."

And thanks to blogger That British Woman and the inspiring photos of Ernestine I plan my menus for a week and post them up in the kitchen. Better than sporadic or repetitive meals. And healthier in variety.

Daughter, the former prof, has found immense pleasure and fulfilment in being a part-time crab fisher. I celebrate her joy and happiness - so much better than the life she had before, her connection with the sea is profound and her capacity for hard physical labour, in spite of her health challenges, lightens my spirit. Better than the bubble of underlying anxiety for her I carried in the past.

So there ya go - do you have "better thans" in your day?



22 comments:

  1. You have made my day :) temperature continues
    at around 100 on deck and just checked to see if any relief
    seems it is hanging around for a few more months :(
    I checked your other highlighted blog.
    and now wondering do I need an active lifestyle community? Still waiting for doctor to call about my bloodwork, nurse called and said it was on his desk...

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  2. OWJ:
    gosh, can't imagine your temperatures, I would do the fainting lady needing smelling salts to revive her! Never did like heat, we didn't get much of it in Ireland when I was growing up!
    I hope the doc calls you soon. Let me know how you're doing :)

    XO
    WWW

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  3. I don't have better-thans, but have "Holy Cow am I ever lucky!"s pretty much every day when I go for a walk.

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  4. Nice to have found you again and to know life is treating both you and daughter well...I have been offline for a bit but still blogging.

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  5. A celebration, better than a wake!!! Yessss!!!!!

    Cool concept/technique... 'Better than.' Because a lot of bothersome stuff, can fit into that category. A lot of 'stuff' isn't-as-bad-as other 'stuff.' But we have to remember the comparison. Not just dwell in the present rotten happening.

    And... Another thing, about this... Me-thinks it's much better, if _we_ think of this "better than" thing, _ourselves-. 'Cause if someone else, says it _to_ us(me), they can sound too much like a "Pollyanna type." And all we(I) might get out of the exchange, is a grumble.... and thought of; "Yeah, as if she'd say that, if her knee was hurting as much as my knee is!!!" -grin-

    Or at least, that might well be _my_ reaction. -grin-

    Tessa

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  6. SJG:

    Gratitude in our good fortune, absolutely. I was mainly reflecting on when the bad thoughts come, how to shoo them away :)

    XO
    WWW

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  7. E: I'm delighted you are! I see you dropped the Book Club, a brilliant idea I thought at the time :)

    XO
    WWW

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  8. Tessa:

    Yes, it has to come from within. The only way it works. I hate being finger-wagged as do others. Just a friendly reminder when I'm trying to sit on the pity-pot, right? It worked today and as long as the old brain remembers this, I'll be grand :)

    XO
    WWW

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  9. Oh goodness, I have a hundred "better thans" every day. Whatever my petty worries and irritations, I'm always aware of the millions of people who're far worse off and desperately struggling to make a decent life for themselves. "First world problems" and all that.

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  10. I too have "better thans" around every corner, they are what keeps me going on many a day. My siblings and I are all on the top rung of the ladder now, and as Ramana reminded me yesterday I am ready for the fourth and final stage to Nirvana! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ashrama_(stage)

    My bags may be packed but I have more living to do yet - places to go and people to see!

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  11. Nick:
    No I didn't mean that at all, of course there are millions worse off - I was referring to self only. Identifiable experiences relatable to self.
    Thinking otherwise is far too facile and is meaningless to me anyway when I am low.
    XO
    WWW.

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  12. GM:
    Hopefully you are "better than" you were last year. I can never speak for others, just for self, but I know I am in a better place now than I was a month ago :)
    XO
    WWW

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  13. I had to google to convert the temperature - 9C is cold for summer! It's 95F/35C here today! I do the better than thing - when other people complain about the heat I am happy not to be cold, happy not to be without an AC and fans.

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  14. SAW - I know: fire on again today but I'm better than I was before as my chimney is now working and my bartering business has resulted in many piles of beautiful wood by my barn :) so definitely better than my dwindling pile in the barn a few months ago :)
    XO
    WWW

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  15. I love this post.....you always make me really think, and then I get a laugh.
    Thanks for letting me know about the light pink text on my blog. DAH....that was an error. All fixed
    Very chilly here on Cape Cod today.....time to go to the school bus. Happy your thumbs are not hurting from the knitting.

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  16. Ah; sorry if I mis-related. I'll remember the "better-than" technique when I need it.

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  17. Kitty, chilly it seems for all of us on the Edge (of the Atlantic). Still quite cool here, had the fire on most of the day.

    XO
    WWW

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  18. SJG:
    I'm better than I was 7 hours ago when I still had a corporate tax return to do - now I can breathe :) LOL.
    XO
    WWW

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  19. My "Better Than" is to surprise the DIL by shelling the green peas and trimming the french beans before she can return from her walking the dog. It works.

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  20. You've got me stumped. I don't usually do the "better than" thing in that sense. If I'm feeling a bit negative about something, I just look for the positives in the same situation - like feeling annoyed that the local shop doesn't stock something I want, but then thinking about all the things it does stock. And the fact that it's only 2 minutes walk away.

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  21. So Ramana: You're "better than" when you were incapacitated from your surgery? Or when you had life without her?
    XO
    WWW

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  22. Nick:
    I suppose life is a series of improvements? Not sure. I know I am "better than" now than I was on my previous drug, thanks to you :)
    XO
    WWW

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