Friday, June 12, 2015

The Call

So I had all these tests. And then today I get The Call. The doctor on the phone wanting to see me. Why? Oh can't talk about it on the phone. Has to see me F2F. Should I be worried? That remains to be seen. After The Talk.

Next time he's in clinic is Thursday a.m. Me worry? I'm trying not to.

Many of us are at the age. And guess what I'm dreading more than anything else?

Being on a permanent medical treadmill of appointments and tests. Like many. Comparing meds and Cat Scans and MRIs. Sole topic of conversation a long list of all that ails me. Goddess, no!

Zaps the energy, freezes the brain lobes.

Let me go to a corner, open a vein and quietly bleed out while the going is good.

Sorry about the mess.

38 comments:

  1. I'm with you there, m'dear. I've resolved to take my meds, go to necessary appts, but other than that, no. No ER trips, no more procedures.
    Please let me know how it goes.
    Mike

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  2. Mike, you strike bravely off before me - thank you!

    XO
    WWW

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  3. Guess it can't be too bad if you get to wait until next Thursday to hear the test results. I usually get a recorded message on my machine, whether good or bad results.

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    1. Doc's not at my local clinic until then, more's the pity. Once a week now for our shrinking population. No wait times which is good.
      XO
      WWW

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  4. Well FARTA. It will be a stressy week ahead for you. Just what you don't need. Do your yoga.

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  5. And meditation SJG - I'm not too happy with my BP=very high stress so trying many techniques to bring it down :(
    which is stressful when it doesn't work :(.

    Enough of the frowny faces - onward.

    XO
    WWW

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  6. Fingers crossed for you. I too just do what the doc says and don't worry about it.

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  7. right there with you..
    I now have blood work every 3 months
    and still waiting for results.
    Is my inflammation higher, lower or the same.
    Whatever it is
    I am still on the path of healthy lifestyle, diet, yoga,
    rest and keep moving.
    I am told take your medication, I do not want too and am determined to do it on my terms.
    I am constantly told, you look good, doing everything myself but at a slower pace but do not like this
    and am going to half to learn to accept these last years.

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  8. Hattie: Good advice, I just wish my stress was more manageable.
    XO
    WWW

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  9. OWJ:
    Yes acceptance is definitely a key to successful living, I have hours when I'm good and then other hours where I'm haunted. I wish I could zone right out :( but without meds.
    XO
    WWW

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  10. It could be bad. Or, it could be a rather routine addition of a medication or s change in one. I've had both things happen after such calls. It's worse not knowing, isn't it? In fact, it sucks waiting after such a call, doesn't it? I wish it helped you to know that we all know it sucks and wish you weren't having to wait.

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  11. Linda - thank you for those kind words. Yes, it does suck on one way, after all ignorance is bliss and a tiny part of my brain is negotiating outcomes.
    XO
    WWW

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  12. It's hard not to dwell on things like this: the uncertainty of it is insidious. But try not to, and stay busy when you can.

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  13. Mary, my friend, worrying will not change the results or bring Thursday any faster. Try to find some distraction and good food to enjoy - That is what I do. You know, sometimes we worry unnecessarily. Let me know how you get on.

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  14. Thats awful - change docs if at all possible - why the hell not call you on Wed to come in on Thur?! Geeze Louise! Hope the news is good and he just wants to get paid for an office visit? Sometimes they get paid for results they give in person but not paid if its by telephone. Fingers crossed.

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  15. Stan:
    Not worried so much about what ails me as the treadmill of future whatevers, know what I mean.
    I am keeping busy, idleness does not come easy to me. Can't remember when I had a day off....
    XO
    WWW

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  16. GM:
    I have far too much on the go as usual, so no time for worries, plus knitting and editing still. Staying where my hands are which is always useful.
    XO
    WWW

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  17. Betty no options about changing docs out here on the Edge, nearest next one is a lunatic out of Ireland who leaves you waiting 4 hours in his waiting room after a journey of 80k and the others are in St. John's impossible in the winter. No I like these docs (a married couple) and understand the need for lining up their appts in my nearest clinic (only open once a week and on the verge of being shut down).
    Fingers and toes crossed and life is good otherwise, you too I hope my dear.
    XO
    WWW

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  18. I hate it when they do that...fingers, toes and everything crossed that it's nothing exciting!!

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  19. Thanks Gill, I think that effing drug has finally left my system and I'm feeling like a new woman today :)
    XO
    WWW

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  20. Oh, O do hate situations like this. I'm no good at waiting at all.
    Why they can't just tell us on the phone, I don't know as if you're like me with a vivid imagination, then waiting for the results can be unbearable.

    Hope it turns out to be nothing to worry about.
    Maggie x

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  21. Best of luck on Thursday. I hope it's nothing too serious. As Grannymar says, try to distract yourself in the meantime and keep the worrying to a minimum.

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  22. (sorry if this is a double comment - my first one vanished!)
    Keeping everything crossed for next Thursday and hoping it is nothing serious.

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  23. I think it's terrible of them to make you wait so long. I agree with a previous comment...why not call on Wednesday instead of a week out? I'd let them know how insensitive that is. Sometimes doctors just DON'T THINK. When my husband was in the midst of cancer treatment 3 years ago, something similar happened to him. We spent a week thinking he might have a second cancer in an entirely different location....turns out he didn't.....the oncologist was shocked when I burst into relieved tears when we found out that wasn't the case. He apologized profusely for all the unnecessary worry he had caused us. Since then, he has been very careful not to make another mistake like that. So definitely let your doctor know how much stress he's caused you!

    I sincerely hope you find out that your worries have all been for nothing! I'll have my fingers crossed for you.

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  24. Maggie - it's unavoidable where I live and I keep thinking they wouldn't wait that long if it was serious as his other clinic - a lot further than the Thursday one - would be open.
    Oddly enough, the closer it gets the less stressed I am.
    XO
    WWW

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  25. Nick:
    thanks - that other drug has left my system now and I'm feeling better than I have in a while. Less pain. Less brainfog.

    XO
    WWW

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  26. Jo - thank you. I know many of you out there have been through this.
    XO
    WWW

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  27. Jennifer, how awful about your husband, all that stress which doesn't help the primary condition one bit. I honestly believe stress causes so much harm as it seems like all my current trouble stems from all the stressors I've had in 2015. When I look at them all and add them up they are rather overwhelming.
    Good for you in letting the oncologist know how thoughtless these appointments can be.
    Even to say "nothing to worry about."
    XO
    WWW

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  28. Thank you for leaving a comment in my blog.

    Hope you sort out the issue, of getting a new puppy... And worry about, thus upsetting the older dog. :-)

    And best wishes with the testing results!!!

    Hugs,
    Tessa

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  29. A man was driving along a country road very late one night.There was a loud “bang” followed by the familiar”Kathunk,Kathunk” of a flat tire.He reluctantly rolled up his sleeves and pulled the spare tire from the trunk.To his surprise,there was no jack to be found! “&^&**^%$@#!$$^!”,he hollered.
    As he was kicking the tires wondering what he could do he noticed a porch light, in the distance,and set out to find a jack.
    The walk was a long one.As he stumbled along he began to imagine waking a farmer up from his sleep and finding him unfriendly about the intrusion.After an hour of stumbling,getting caught in sticker bushes and losing a shoe in a mudhole,he could finally see the front steps.
    Other thoughts came to him.What if the farmer has a gun? What if he sicks a big dog on him?What if the farmer ROBS him when he realizes he is alone?
    The man was so angry about the whole situation that he just knew the farmer was going to have a fit about a stranger at his door!
    The man stomps up the steps and pounds on the door! An upstairs light comes on and while waiting for the door to open,the stranded man imagines a red faced,bug eyed farmer wrenching open that door!
    Footsteps…The door cracks and a voice says,”Can I help you?”
    The stranded man,red faced and raging shouts,”Oh,keep your DAMN jack!”,and storms away.

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  30. I've been through the cycle of tests/the calls, the meetings and the treatments/surgeries when I had cervical cancer. No fun. As I get older, I'm more inclined to minimize medical treatment when I can.

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  31. SAW: - I'm so sorry - the things we don't know about each other! I am so glad you're a survivor!

    XO
    WWW

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  32. Thinking of you (not sure whether it is Thursday still over on your side of the world!). Hope all is ok. x

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  33. You have been on my mind all day. Just know that I am keeping a good thought ~

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