Monday, August 31, 2015

Down the Rabbit Hole.

My dear D**** left us early this morning. I had written to her as I had every night before going to bed. Recounting another memory of some event we'd shared. I always loved hanging with her. The thick and thin strands of our shared lives.

I may be getting custody of her dog. Which will all work out.

I took in another pet years ago when another friend died and no one wanted her beloved cat. Her cat was hard to love but I made of it an office cat and it got socialized and lived happily ever after. For years and years.

Maybe that's my function, taking care of the pets of my deceased friends. I don't know what happened to Helen's dog. Another out of control snarly pet. I would have taken it too but quarantine stuff between Canada and Ireland would be a huge roadblock. I think she was "unrescued." I don't ask.

The rabbit hole is weird, my day to day stuff keeps me going. I'm glad of the PGs who are not aware of my broken heart, my private tears.

It's been a year from hell so far, I feel the wind blowing through my soul for far too many moments.

I am so very glad for those in my life who reach out and comfort me in times as these. I've never been more aware of the love offered by those I trust in my times of almost unbearable fragility. I am truly grateful.


17 comments:

  1. I felt a clutch in my throat for you and said, "May her spirit be blessed" for your friend. It is the fragility of life that makes me weep. Sending a hug to you ~

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    1. It ha never felt more fragile Sharon. Thanks for your kind words.
      XO
      WWW

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  2. We all know that the darkness is out there; but let us hold on to the light.

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    1. Trying to Tom but the blur of tears fogs things up a bit.
      XO
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  3. I can only wish you a bit more sunshine in your life and a bit less anguish. Just hold on tightly to the good things.

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    1. Really trying Nick, thanks for the kind words.
      XO
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  4. Love out to you, dear woman. How good you love and were loved - the price this wrenching separation.

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    1. Yes, I never do things by halves Jan, always with intensity and passion.
      Thank you!
      XO
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  5. Stopped by here to let you know the universe is still checking in on you. Hugs to you during your time of loss.

    xo

    Jo

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    1. Thank you Jo - I know you have suffered greatly too. We need a rest from such trauma for a while.
      XO
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  6. If I were nearby, I'd bring a blanket for your knees, make you a nice cup of tea, and give you a hug. Let's pretend. Then let's go for a walk along that beautiful shore you sometimes post photos of, and let's imagine D's spirit soaring free of her ailing body, and able to visit you any time you think of her. Maybe it's possible; who's to say it isn't?

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    1. Interesting you say this, SJG, I dreamed of her last night. In the past we had taken road trips, so she was driving and Ansa was on my lap (never in real life, she's too big) and then she announced she had found this amazing group of people called the "Post Death Group." and I couldn't come with her as I wasn't dead yet. Weird, yeah?
      XO
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    2. Weird, wonderful, and probably TRUE.

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  7. Dear one, so sorry and I once again understand as I am not posting much,
    do not feel up to it and do not want to share much going on...
    Please take care
    you will never know how your special words touch my heart and soul...

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    1. I totally understand Ernestine - you are public, I am anonymous so it makes all the difference in writing about things. Thank you always for your presence in my online life and your lovely words.
      XO
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  8. What can I offer but my condolences from afar. Be well.

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  9. Thanks Hattie from one island to another.

    XO
    WWW

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