Sunday, February 28, 2016

Deep Thoughts

I'm avoiding deep thoughts.

I'm in the land of specialist care which can be very alarming as more pills are added to my daily stash of ingestion.

It's best not to think about it all, yeah?

This latest fellah, lawd so thorough, serious of demeanour, so strict, so no-nonsense. Laid out my life for me just so. Pleasantries were cast out like he was on a diet and was offering me crumbs. Ireland. Israel. Accountancy. Lifestyle, was, is and future as prescribed by Himself. Strict, abstemious, measurements taken 4 times a day. Exercise de rigeur. And see him, again, with my daily journal on June 1st.

One of those times when Daughter said to me a few days before this meet-up: I think I should go with you, Mum. No, sez I, it will be just a consult. I don't need anyone with me for a consult.

Egg on the face time. More than a consult, there were liquids taken from every part of me. Measurements, files read on the computer, tapes dictated in front of me. "Patient presented......". No place to run, no place to hide.

Apart from a good cry in my car, alone, I processed it all over a few days, and I came to the conclusion: Yes, I have to restrict my diet, add the meds I fought for so long, knuckle down. Grow up. Fly right. And pay attention to Bob Newhart. I can do this.

44 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. What is it, are you very seriously ill? Are there treatments and light at the end of the gurney? Is it new? Is is something old and you've ignored it? What? Perhaps I can learn something although no, I will just note I could have. Did you know what he said before you heard it?

      (I am also, t'other side of sixty). Tell me what I have coming... .

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    2. I COULD be seriously ill if I stay on the crazy path I was on. I say crazy for I had my head in the sand and my fingers in my ears. It could be far, far worse as my dead friends would tell you. It's like I'm different now, more in tune. I can't really explain it. I'm following orders. Like the military.

      A huge wakeup call.

      XO
      WWW

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    3. What is it, are you very seriously ill? Are there treatments and light at the end of the gurney? Is it new? Is is something old and you've ignored it? What? Did you know what he said before you heard it?

      WHA!!11!1

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    4. Kind of duplicate post because apparently I can't recognized bodies of water.

      Will it be hard? Will there be help provided?

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    5. I don't want to get into specifics here Anon but if you want to email me I will share. :)
      wisewebwomanatgmaildotcom

      XO
      WWW

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  2. Replies
    1. I think I'm doing a fine job. No deep thinking at all. Existentialism kicked to the curb.

      XO
      WWW

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  3. Sounds like that guy was badly lacking some 'bedside manner'. Take care missus. Virtual healing hugs xx

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    Replies
    1. He was very thorough, highly analytical on my condition and assured me he was now in charge and I had to follow his instructions to the letter. Scared me but in a good way.

      XO
      WWW

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  4. Yeah, we specialists can be a real pain in the ass. Do get a second opinion, sometimes we're wrong too.
    Take care,
    Mike

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    Replies
    1. Mike maybe I was sounding too negative but I'm not at all. He knew his job really really well and I needed to be shaken up with my old head in the sand.

      XO
      WWW

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    2. Hello Should Fish More.

      Definitey. Should. I have something here for WWW, but I thought you might like to see it too. You see, I have been spoken to sternly every time I see a doctor. I think WWW and I are hearing the same warnings. I've been hearing them for almost 30 yrs now. I did listen, once, and have regretted it since. I have had vision damage, brain damage (stoke-like deficits), aphasia, inability to read more than the simplist language, (plays hell with the profession of editing), muscle pain, atrophy and weakness, insomnia, transient global amnesia and serious memory deficits, much more I'm reticent to list. Because? I took the drugs that I was kindly...fear mongered about. I've since stopped taking them. One, I had no choice. Baycol proven killed over 100 people, and was suspected to cause life-altering disability in hundreds others. Me one. So. Should we listen to specialists? I hear you telling WWW to get a second opinion. I wish this site had been around when I needed it. Too late for me, but maybe there are others here who will find the information they need to stand up to the predatory medical profession, of which I hope you are not one. Relevant info here, on just about every med being shilled in doctor's offices and harming people under the guise of wise.

      http://www.ti.ubc.ca/2014/05/28/statins-proven-and-associated-harms/

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  5. Thinking of you keep flying Meg

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  6. Hard news to hear but I'm glad you're taking the specialist seriously. Sometimes it's not up to us and we just have to do what we have to do. May 2016 bring you strength and good health ~

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    Replies
    1. Very sensible, Sharon, I am not a doctor and stuff sticks to me from Sir Google which is not necessarily scientific or true for that matter. I have divorced Sir Google from my health care.

      Thanks for your good wishes.

      XO
      WWW

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  7. I often think it's easier to be born with a broken wing than to lose the freedom of flight after a lifetime. I won't make light of your medical challenge, I live with two very rare genetic disorders and of all people I know how precious *health* is. But try not to be too disheartened. Thankfully we can say, "Thank heavens there *are* pills and I know how to adjust my diet." But doesn't a diagnosis hit like a ton of bricks? Even when you know in your gut something's amiss it knocks the wind out of you. You'll settle. Find a few trusted people who have, and cope well, with health challenges to talk to or correspond with. And hugs. I don't comment often, but I read every word. <3

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Deb for your kind words. Yes, it does hit, particularly when put in serious terms and a kind of questioning of my sanity if I don't choose "life" which is what I very much needed. I live in my head a lot and perhaps I'm painting him as too harsh but he was kind. I could see it in his eyes and he must roll his eyes at people like me who are stubborn as he has seen, possibly in graveyards, where it has got them.

      XO
      WWW

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  8. Sorry to hear things are more serious than you thought. Yes, very sensible to do exactly what he says and no head-in-sand. I hope the new routine bears fruit.

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    1. I would add though, and I think this is your approach anyway, if any drug causes bad side effects, just stop taking it straightaway and look for an alternative. Most drugs come in several versions and if one screws you up, another might be just fine. I've been prescribed a number of drugs that had nasty side effects and I just abandoned them and tried other ones.

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  9. I'm sorry you have to face up to your "wake up call" but just ... STOP IT! (Sorry, but you're the one who put up the Newhart clip, and thank you for what will definitely be my biggest laugh of the day).

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    Replies
    1. I know Tom, I've always loved it and the thought of it took me out of the tears in the parking lot. And reminded me too of everything I ever had to let go of had clawmarks all over it!

      XO
      WWW

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  10. I understand so much you bravely share.
    Much goes on here
    I do not share
    and I so deeply understand
    and you are strong
    you can pull out of this
    I just know it.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for your faith Ernestine. I am doing my best but so very nervous about this ton of drugs. Contravenes everything I've researched. But he alarmed me. I wish there was an independent evaluation body not in thrall to Big Pharma.
      XO
      WWW

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  11. I love every bit of this post. Your writing is so sharp and clear - refreshing like a dip in a mountain stream. And thanks for that Newheart hit - I can't believe that I missed that one and me a therapist. My best pal , who is also a psychotherapist, and I would often say we were going to use our mothers' approach. We called it "snap out of it therapy". At any rate -I adore you in all your manifestations!

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    Replies
    1. Wow thanks Jan. Yeah it's a great bit alright. Love Bob. It's become my new mantra I've even caught myself saying it to elder dog as she pretends she's a puppy and could hurt herself. LOL

      XO
      WWW

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  12. It just struck me as nonsense, or preposterous: You were running a marathon or something like that a couple years ago. So since it seems this isn't cancer, I can't fathom that you are not alright.

    And since I have been looking up to you as indestructible and made of special, thereby giving me reason for my personal chocolate coated armaggedon here (no point I'll just have another) I refuse to believe "him".

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    1. Anon the stress of last year had an enormous toll on my body. BP sugars heart and physical deterioration after a fall. I've had very little familial support apart from Dear Daughter which all contributed. My losses drove ne to counselling as I fell apart. Readers Digest version.
      XO
      WWW

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    2. Reader's Digest version is just about what I can handle now. Thanks for that. I can relate to all this, but I still refuse. I have fallen four times in about 18 months, and each takes one deeper with less recovery. What is this I demanded to self: is this it? We get old we fall? Each fall predisposes to more falls.

      Be aware that certain meds pressed upon us do cause balance problems, confusion, disorientation, memory loss, and most pertinent I think here, diabetes and vision damage. Documented at that link I gave you.

      Most horrible for me was the aphasia and language loss caused by the cholesterol lowering drugs. The editor shall not make new mistakes.

      Damn. We deserve better than this.

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    3. I should hasten to add, I refuse drugs, but do "take" other helps: music (no lyrics ... jayzuz!), good old CBC what's left of it (Sunday Edition), Skype conference sobbing, food, yah food, I give up, nature when I can get there, and exercise, also when I can get there, and in. Gyms now come in "brands" old and broken not being one. I'm a triathlete I tell them: I have two canes and sometimes a shopping cart.

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    4. As I mentioned above @
      Anon I'm taking a break from Sir Google and his You Tube rellies. I'll see how this goes one day at a time.
      Sorry to hear you've had so much trouble with your health and drugs. I had to be moved off Losartan due to paralysis in my legs. There are always side effects.
      XO
      WWW

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    5. The site I gave you is from the medical school/pharmacology dept at the University of British Columbia, funded by the gov't of B.C. All information from there goes out on govt stationary to every doctor in B.C. The clinical pharmacologist who heads Therapeutics Initiative is head of the Cochrane Collaboration hypertension division. I post for readers too, and your doc friend can collaborate the high esteem in which this site, and i's head, are held. Knowledge is power. (Geez why can't our memory loss function kick in for cliches?) xxx

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    6. The internet is just a library. And whaaaat a library.

      http://www.bodleian.ox.ac.uk/bodley

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  13. It's always a shock. But it sounds as if the doc is on the right track with you and really cares.
    Best, Marianna

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    Replies
    1. Yeah particularly for indie women like us 😊

      XO
      WWW

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  14. You are made of different stuff than what you portray here. Your fall and recovery last year was more like you and since this is not something that is life threatening, you are right to conclude the way you have. All the very best to you dear WWW.

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    1. Thanks Ramana. One thing after another and as we age we don't recover as quickly from what ails us. I am bouncing back though.
      XO
      WWW

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  15. Well now, you just take that doc's advice and look after yourself. I'm not prepared to be losing half my readership, do you hear?

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    1. Oh RJA - I am so sure you have non-commenters as I do. What do they say? Only 1% comment, 99% lurk, yeah? So you have 200 readers, LOL - though I'd say more. How is life in La Belle France? Aren't you lucky to avoid Drumf (real name)?

      And I'm trying to look after myself. Thank you.

      XO
      WWW

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  16. Life is good until it t'isnt, this we know and wish we didn't, laughter helps until it doesn't, family was there until it wasn't, friends will drop off that's a given, pets will go heaven to live in, all the rest is just some time, hope yours is the best, far better than mine cuz when I head to my place in the sky, I hope we'll be saying:wasn't so bad to die :)

    ReplyDelete
  17. Life is good until it t'isnt, this we know and wish we didn't, laughter helps until it doesn't, family was there until it wasn't, friends will drop off that's a given, pets will go to heaven to live in, all the rest is just some time, hope yours is the best, far better than mine cuz when I head to my place in the sky, I hope we'll be saying:wasn't so bad to die :)

    ReplyDelete

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wisewebwomanatgmail.com