Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Mixed Emotions

Living with others has its trials and tribulations. I get to the conclusion I don't share the sandbox well unless the visits are of short durations or with the type who have profound knowledge of or have simpatico of the other. In sync as it were and I have a few of those.

I'm not terrific around smokers, I'm talking the fierce, smoke-gulping kind who need constant hits of the drug. (And I was such a creature until nearly 30 years ago. So I have an understanding.)

A friend who stayed with me all last week to Monday past, in my age range, has yet to quit nicotine. So my time was spent waiting for her to finish, to start, or to plan the next intake from the white tube. Not to mention detours to buy the weeds. And the house freezing as she bounded in and out.

It's been years since I've been around non-social smokers so it took a fair degree of tolerance and understanding from me. I found resentments piling up as I waited yet again for her to come back into the restaurant or the car or the house.

I thought toting a book to occupy me would be rude. But I found my subtle android screen-sucking would entertain me and remove the puss off my face.

But still...often she ran into stranger-smokers outside and as she's gregarious could light up yet another in their company as they chewed the fat between drags.

I love her dearly but dear gawd, if I added up all the time waiting for her in various locations, I would be canonized.

How do others deal with this?

It's not a topic I've ever seen addressed.

She's gone back to the homeland now, so my life has been returned to me to do with as I will.

And she's never been interested in my blog, even if she had the expertise to locate it for Google is beyond her.

16 comments:

  1. I've heard a similar sentiment but from employers' point of view, as smokers don't always wait until scheduled breaks to go light up. It drives Scott nuts when they're trying to get work done.

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    1. As an employer I had to deal with it too in the past. I found it so unfair on the non-smokers. They are far more productive.
      XO
      WWW

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  2. I encounter very few smokers these days. And I'm glad to say that when I do they're usually considerate enough to keep the smoke well away from me. I don't think a single visitor to the house has ever been a smoker, or if they were they kept it under wraps.

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    1. A severe addiction in a long term friend is nuther matter entirely, Nick. She is killing herself and her younger brother just died of it. It's painful to see and so very hard to keep my mouth shut on the topic. Her coughing all night and in the morning is nerve-wracking too. And between butts.
      XO
      WWW

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  3. Off this topic, WWW ~ I've not been here for yonks - you might not remember me, even. I wandered in for some reason today, and scrolled around - then saw your post about Ansa. I couldn't even finish reading it for the blur in my eyes. I'm so, so very, very sorry, WWW. (((Hugs))).

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    1. Thank you T - of course I remember you and your sympathy is so much appreciated. She was a rare ol' dog was my lovely Ansa and I miss her so much at times that it hurts.
      ((((Hugs back))))
      XO
      WWW

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  4. Few of my in the flesh friends follow my blog, and I like it that way. I try not to mention it. If they want to read it fine. If they don't, that's fine too.

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    1. A few flesh friends have read it in the past. "Found" me. I don't think anyone I know in the physical world reads me now.
      XO
      WWW

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  5. My mother died as a result of this hideous addiction as well as another so, though I wish for some compassion for smokers, at this point, I've none left. Fortunately, the few friends I have who smoke don't do so in my presence and usually do so outdoors so as not to damage the lungs of others. A childhood spent inhaling the second-hand smoke of my mother, her sister and my nana was more than enough. Best to you. My friends and family take no notice of my blog, save one, so it isn't a worry. Hugs.

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    1. It's an odd thing to witness, smokers seem so oblivious of those waiting for them. I've yet to receive an apology or understanding of time wasted. Odd that.

      XO
      WWW

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    2. More concerned with their addiction...things like apologies don't come in to that until much later, if at all...

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    3. Blissful unawareness more like and dear gawd the smell.I had to do her laundry and just about gagged between the smoke and the appalling perfume she sprays to cover it up.
      XO
      WWW

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  6. Haven't run into this problem for at least a decade. My last friend to give up the weed now vapes ... and honestly, it's a little bit annoying, but he's a great guy so we put up with it (and it's sure better than the smoking).

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    1. Vapes would be an improvement for my friend but as I see her rarely not an ongoing issue. It just seems extraordinarily fool hardy and health-risky to be puffing away fiercely at 63 when your bro has just died of it.
      XO
      WWW

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  7. I wish I could give you some useful advice. I too was a smoker and have been without cigarettes for years now. I live in the same house with two smokers. Both are trying to give up and that makes it even more difficult when I have to tell them that it irritates me. They however try and smoke upstairs only or in the garden and it rarely affects me. Our climate allows us to keep windows open and so the smoke does not stay inside. When other smokers come, they use the garden to smoke but quite a few them try and persuade me to restart!

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  8. I watched my father, whom I loved dearly, still craving a smoke as he died of lung cancer. My mom managed to quit smoking about thirty-five years ago. Now she has congestive heart failure and her health declines year by year. My father in law, a former smoker died of COPD last summer. It is a powerful addiction.

    Jude

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