Sometimes the inside of my brain looks like this ancient old button jar of mine, now a little art piece.
I read all this stuff about aging gracefully and living life to the fullest. I’ve never been a graceful person and have no intention of starting now. The lessons would take up far too much of my time.
I was writing my Morning Pages this morning. An unbroken habit for more years than I care to count. And this Making Room thing came up, as in what am I not making room for?
Quiet time is one thing. No music, no reading no TV. A couple of hours in the afternoon. Looking at my flowers or my knitting or just doing nothing at all. I need to get back to the run of myself (as my people say) with adjustments to the reality of my life now.
I feel far too much
on edge with lack of sleep nearly every night and ongoing issues with
my gastric system which never seemed to recover from the Norovirus.
I must make room also just to tick off one item from the ever lengthening to do list. I put everything on there as I have the kind of brain that shoves 5 things into my head at the same time and then I lose track of them all when the next bright glittery object hoves into view.
My first test was an email in from an old client of mine (I edited for him. A lot) who wants me to finalize his memoir. And I was going to jump all over it and then stopped myself. With some recent increases in my senior benefits (thank you, Canada) I could still always use the extra money, but do I need it? He’s not a very good writer and I don’t have the spare energy right now to clean him up. So nice email back declining but thanking him for the thought.
Now onward I go, ho-ho. I’ve made other little commitments too which I will write about later.
Have you made room, deliberately, in your life to enhance your days even a little bit?
Orchids, just because.
I hear you about the button jar though some of mine are cracked or still have threads attached. Why I keep them all I know not.
ReplyDeleteI am doing my variable best to ensure that I have moments of beauty in every day. Something I need and can always find even on bad days.
Life plans? Not a happening thing. They never were.
I need reminders to pause and reflect for a bit and realize there is beauty all around and let go of the stuff I can do nothing about. An ongoing process.
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As always, a thought-inducing post.
ReplyDeleteYes, I have deliberately made room. I stopped performing as a storyteller because I wanted time to just be normal, not a "performer", constantly having to promote myself. I still occasionally get asked, and kindly decline. I just don't want the stress and the time commitment again.
I am in a group of four poets who get together twice a year to write, and we put together a chapbook a couple years agonthat required us to do readings. I tried to back out of the project when I realized what I had agreed to, but it was too late. We still have the thankfully occasional reading, and the others are discussing another book, which I will have to tell them I do not wish to do.
So, those things. My husband wants me to cut back on the vegetable garden and I know he is right. It does limit us, as gardens require a lot of time and care. But I love it so! Trying to strike a balance here.
The hardest, GS, is to let go of the things we love to do. And I miss the things I can't do like go on stage again. Cutting back is hard but necessary to fit in the wee things that bring bursts of joy. The heaviness of the world right now is affecting me greatly even though there is nothing I can do about any of it apart from link up with others who feel the same way. Tossing all that aside is difficult.
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Thanks for the encouragement. Down here it's been hard to be positive of late.
ReplyDeleteI know Joanne, and we have our own Rump Lite here. I signed up to the liberal party yesterday, a first for me. I had to evaluate carefully. But I am hoping there will be a growth in all this opposition to bring the conservatives down. And our only hope is the liberal party.
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RoisinNY - yes, thanks for the encouragement. Above writer “ensuring moments of beauty in every day” - love that!
ReplyDeleteWe all desperately need it Ros, I vent on Bluesky which helps but I sometimes forget to just sit and reflect on the beauty around me including all the good people in the world. More of them than of the others.
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It's not so much the making room for things thst give me joy (I'm not working out of home anymore, just freelancing now) so have an endless 'weekend' with time to do everything I want (practise piano and guitar, sing, dance), but making a daily HABIT of them is where I fall short. Why do we - no, I - have so much trouble making time for what brings joy? It's so silly.
ReplyDeleteYes, Kate, why don't we make room for the joyful on a daily basis? My days are so much better when I do. My dogs would always remind me and without them I forget. Must put the word "Joy" on my daily todo list.
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I have several zip lock bags full of buttons, mostly the spare ones cut off shirts, but some would be very old, and it goes without saying, redundant. The buttons are very low on my Swedish Death Cleaning list, as they take up very little space.
ReplyDeleteI guess some writing just needs polishing, but other writing is a mess, and would be very time consuming to correct, with keeping the meaning of what the writer meant. I spent some time working on the words for my post tomorrow, and I am still not quite satisfied, but there are only so many hours in a day when you are busy being retired.
I try to make my days better, more productive and with more time for me, but circumstances always intervene, at the moment, often the two lovely lads who are living here.
I'm one for lists but I try to keep them short. I can thing of five blog post subjects in a few minutes, but then I forget them. It doesn't matter. I am never short of something to say or show.
I do admire your almost daily writings Andrew and your spin on life and love of transportation and now more adventures with the two lads. My old client contacted me again after I turned him down and offered me a scad of money but I would find it all far too challenging and time consuming. Finding this life-work balance has always been hard for me. But I'm getting there very late in life.
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Yes, I have, sort of. I've taken up quilting again. Thirty years ago I worked for a friend in a Tennessee quilt shop. So, I had quilting in my background. I've found that it's much easier to take up something new if you've already done it back in the day. My wonderful sewing machine, was donated 10 years ago, so I'm working by hand. Maybe I will do this til my eyes give out. Maybe not. Quilting is quiet, concentrated time among beautiful colors. No politics.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant Diane. Quilting I have always admired and have made time for it when travelling and visiting quilting bees if they are on. Reminds me of my spinning circles back in the day. Knitting does that for me. Totally relaxing as I concentrate on the colours and the way my hands move with the needles. And something solid in the hands after an hour or so.
DeletePolitics are hurting us all lately, each new horror hitting the heart.
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I don't know about making room, WWW, but I'm in the throes of moving house, from a big three/four bedroom goliath to a rather sweet, but tiny two bedroom bungalow in Normandy. Honestly, I have enough stuff to start a secondhand shop and it all has to go. My realtor tells me not to worry, she knows someone who does house clearance. I hope she does otherwise I have no idea what to do with it all. I decided to move while I was still active enough to cope. I'm reaching the conclusion I may have left it a bit late. Stress! Like you I'm barely sleeping at all through the night. I keep telling myself it'll all work out and one day it'll be over. I, too, am finding recovery from Covid somewhat slow. Still, we keep smiling, eh?
ReplyDeleteA big move for you RJ! I know how I felt when I made mine 7 years ago now. I haven't looked back (much!) We just know when the time comes and it's all about manageability then. I've seen those who left it too late and it was a powerful lesson for me. I'd rather be managing it myself, thanks. A large one bedroom (bedroom is split between office/study and bedroom) and a view over a nearby lake and the ocean from the large living room is bliss and easy to take care of. Nearby deliveries of everything really helps too. I love this (small) city life from my large country one. There is a time for everything, n'est pas? Good luck with yours, mon ami!
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I echo RJ above: cleaning house. I don't think I'm moving (mainly b/c I love my property and there is nothing suitable in my town) but I must clear out this clutter. It is far more work than people realize, though, unless they've done it. And doing it in addition to my actual job. But anytime I get a spot cleared out, I feel so much better. Clear the outside chaos, clears the inside chaos.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely true Elle. I've done it many times with houses. And life is odd. I started out in Canada in a one bedroom apartment and now I find I am back in the same. And it strikes me is that what life is about. Starting small, then moving to bigger and bigger houses and then shrinking again? A metaphor for old age? But I agree, I always feel good with a clear-out of stuff I now longer use or need.
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Yes, I have made room in my life for something that really relaxes me, which is home improvement. The kitchen cabinets just got a makeover, slowly, because I move slowly, and another piece of furniture was sanded down and refinished, because I love doing that. With 16 kids and fifteen grandchildren, it's hard to carve out a time to get things done, but last week I had to say "no" for a few days, and it was wonderful. Don't get me wrong, love having the grandkids over, but painting relaxes me, and results are so worthwhile...it's so much more rewarding than just cleaning the house!
ReplyDeleteIn my time too, Della, I loved refinishing furniture. Work with the hands is so satisfying! I have one survivor from those days. A semainier - a tall 7 drawer piece that has served me well and lived for a while in Daughter's house and then came back to me. You have 16 kids? Amazing.
DeleteYes, as we slow down we need to value our time and how we spend it much more.
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I rather enjoy my life, most days, and have come to realize that if something isn't working well for me in terms of personal fulfillment than it has to be let go. A while back I became very involved with a letter writing to seniors project and faithfully did it for a couple of months. One day the realization came that while it was a worthy cause, I was not getting any enjoyment and so my correspondence could reflect that which would be beneficial to anyone reading such a letter. So, I gracefully requested withdrawal from that program and have not missed participation. Instead, I have taken to sending snail mail letters to some friends. And, I find that scanning the news in the am hours only is much less stressful to me.
ReplyDeleteI was listening to an interview with Lawrence O'Donnell today and he said he completely shuts off ALL the news on Saturday and Sunday and when he shows up for work on Monday his staff are always astonished he missed something major on the weekend he needs to use on his daily show. It was very enlightening to me. A whole weekend without news I will strive for. Making even MORE room.
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I can totally relate to what you shared here. Nice to meet another fellow traveler on the path. Aloha!
ReplyDeleteGood to know I'm not alone Cloudia!
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Sadly, no but an interesting idea and one I'll consider thanks to this post.
ReplyDeleteFeel free to slap me if this sounds all too smug, but I don't need to enhance my life every day. I have a full, active life, filled with good friends and activities that excite me and keep me motivated. That sounds good enough to me.
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