Saturday, February 20, 2010

Men Never Make Passes......


My friend Laurie over at Three Dog Blog has the most amazing post today listing the rules of dating for 1938. Go over there and check it out.
Some delicious samples (and all are accompanied by terrifically helpful pictures):
"Don't sit in awkward positions, and never look bored even if you are. Be alert and if you must chew gum (not advised) do it silently, mouth closed."

and
"Don't use the car mirror to fix your makeup. Man needs it in driving and it annoys him very much to have to turn around to see what's behind him."


I would add a few more such helpful hints given to me growing up in Ireland in the sixties:

"Our Lady weeps if you ever mention your period to any man."

"Never let a man touch you above the knee or below the neck."

"You can get pregnant just by sitting on a toilet seat if a strange man just used it."

"The highest aspiration for any good girl is to be a nun. Second would be as a married woman dedicated to bringing as many, many children to the glory of God as she can, and third would be if she remained single and devoted her life to good works such as helping in the church and to assisting the number ones and twos in their lives of selfless sacrifice."

"Never use a tampon as that is throwing your most precious gift away and no man will want you after that."

"Never deny a husband his pleasure. He needs it to release his tension for working hard. That is your duty."

"Never buy a car of your own as independence in a woman is frowned on by any man looking for a wife."

"Every man has the wild animal in him. A good woman never encourage this with a sinful display of her bosoms."

"A woman needs to be very careful on the marriage bed not to exhibit any pleasure as it could make a man doubtful and distrusting."


My grade: F A I L.

23 comments:

  1. I guess we've moved on a bit from such draconian strictures, but there are still plenty of things women have to suppress in order not to alienate their man. Too much emotion, too much visible grooming, too much criticism, too many demands. Most men still don't treat women as genuine equals but like to think that deep down they're superior.

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  2. And what did the friendly looking elderly Turk in Bremen say three or four years ago when being asked about a most surprising campaign, in which the Turkish tabloid Hurriyet tried to elucidate that women are human beings, too, and that it's not nice to beat one's wife, at least not on a daily basis?
    "A man who does not beat his wife is not a man."

    Ah, nuff written. Time to fall into the feathers, put my head on the pillow and have a dream: All machos with immediate effect do veil their faces up til infinity ... yes ... and walk four steps behind their wives ... yes ... when lugging the shopping bags. Yes.
    The peace of the night.

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  3. Only a bit, Nick, I agree. The rampant cosmetic plastic surgery - at great risk - that some women endure in order to look 'young' and attract males never ceases to amaze me.
    XO
    WWW

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  4. Sean:
    Only one problem with that scenario, most women I know would hate to put a man in that position.
    Walking beside someone is the ideal, right?
    XO
    WWW

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  5. Quite, wise woman. :)
    You'll agree, though, that any macho - well, some machos, contemplating this scenario, might wake up, wouldn't you?

    As for the ideal: Once I heard a remarkable Moroccan woman say:
    Imagine love to be a bird, and man and woman being its wings.
    Only when both wings will move in harmony the bird can fly.

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  6. I remember some of those sayings, the trouble was we were supposed to believe them!

    Now I am off to Three Dog Blog for more entertainment.

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  7. "You can get pregnant just by sitting on a toilet seat if a strange man just used it."

    what if the guy was not strange?

    I had a dose of nun-isms growing up, too. I remember one earnest soul instructing us about the dangers of French kissing. "And just think, you don't know when he last brushed his teeth!" and she shuddered visibly. There ensued long discussions amongst the girls as to how that nun knew about kissing at all!

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  8. The last straw is to pass out from too much liquor
    That'd have been my main aim!

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  9. I remember them well! If my nuns were to be believed, Our Lady was a real weepy lot. She cried if we whistled or wore trousers, too.

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  11. oh, thanks for the link!

    also---my mother used to tell me, very seriously, to always let a boy beat me in tennis or at any other sport.

    'boys like to win,' she said, and i remember telling her, "so do i." her response? "they care more about it than you do."

    i didn't buy it then, and i don't buy it now. but i sure never forgot it.

    ps i'm reposting this comment because i got it exactly backwards the first time i wrote it--said that my mother's advice was to never let the boy win.

    i'm thinking that would have been better advice.

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  12. GM:
    The fear of Hell was driven into us from before we could talk.
    XO
    WWW

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  13. Pauline:
    You were one jump ahead of me. I thought french kissing made girls pregnant.
    And I suppose strange sperm was worse than familiar sperm? LOL
    XO
    WWW

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  14. T:
    Oh that was my downfall alright!
    XO
    WWW

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  15. Tessa:
    LOL, how right you are! There were a few more and they slip my mind, an awful crybaby, I agree.
    XO
    WWW

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  16. Laurie:
    With all the rules, I'm amazed we made it to adulthood.
    I never let the boys win either, to my Granny's horror. My mother, who strained at the bit of her life, would always encourage me.
    XO
    WWW

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  17. I'm glad times have changed, although we still have a ways to go. Meanwhile, I'll try not to display my bosoms sinfully for fear of setting off a wild animal. Hahaha!

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  18. Ahaa! So it was the toilet seat! I wonder if I can get back all the child support I paid all those years.

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  19. My mom told me one day laughing how she was told the oddest things by her own mother (my grandmother) growing up... Here are some of my grandmothers wonderful wisdom.

    1- don't eat too many lemons, you may loose your virginity.

    2- don't ride a bicycle, you may loose your virginity.

    3- if you kiss a boy, he will loose respect for you.

    I am amazed how normal my mom is! :)

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  20. Knatolee:
    That could possibly be a good thing?
    XO
    WWW

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  21. GFB:
    No, strange toilet seats! Or stranger using toilet seats.
    Oh I give up!!
    XO
    WWW

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  22. I've never heard about the lemons, Nevin and wonder at the connection, seriously. Lemons?
    I did hear about the bicyle though. And jumping hurdles and horseback riding.
    XO
    WWW

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