Thursday, December 19, 2013

Blog Jam

I was up the earliest in the house this morning. I had to go to my office up the road. I took this shot of the bay with its ice fog while still dancing around in my peejays. The warm air and the cold air duking it out. The bay, in all its manifestations, never ceases to enthrall me.

I cruised blogs, sprinkled comments here and there. Most of my favourites never cease to engage me, they get my mind rolling in different directions.

I can't link to all of my reads of today. I'll link to my thoughts instead. I had a cautionary story from one not to rant so much as my elder years pile up on top of me. As I started a bit of a rant in my office today I was reminded of that, I watched the glaze build-up in the eyes of my listeners who were, well, trapped. Captive. I'm their boss. I deserve respect, blah-blah-blah. I remembered the post, put on my brakes and talked resurfacing local roads instead. Phew. Yes, the ranting days are over. Time to do. Time to listen. Hang up the blowing off steam shoes.

Another had a post about motherhood. Surely, there is no monolithic motherhood format, is there? It is what it is in all its complexities. The title of mother does not encompass a one size fits all, surely? I would never think I was very good at it. I did my best. Still do. Like my mother did. And some would say a fulfilled mother, intellectually, emotionally, creatively, is the best kind of mother and a power of example to her daughters and sons. And yes, some of us are thrust into the role before our time. Access to birth-control was non-existent in my girlhood. The whole slut/virgin thing reigned supreme courtesy of a blinkered government with religion as the puppet master. You were supposed to keep your legs crossed until rescued from this appalling spinster state by the White Knight. And many mothers have no choice in working and putting food and clothes on the wee ones' backs, untraceable dad having scarpered four years ago with the babysitter.

A few of my blogmates have broken hearts this season. I grieve for them but know that it is only through my pain I learned the most. About me. And so will they.

I try not to write from privilege. I try and understand and learn and listen. And recognise my own failings and sometimes follow the wisdom of others. I don't always succeed.

I am grateful Daughter and Grandgirl are here with me. Sharing the joys of each others' company, having a good old belly-laugh with each other. Planning a slow-moving holiday season, savouring each precious moment.

I feel very, very fortunate.

But I know that far too many in the world can't say that.

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Blogger Stan said...

A lovely crisp wintery scene. I thought we'd woken up to snow here but it turned out to be heavy early-morning hail that had turned everything white.
You're lucky, too, to know you're lucky. Many don't.

Thu Dec 19, 06:16:00 AM GMT-3:30  
Anonymous Rummuser said...

We are in our own winter and the warm clothes have come out. It is however nothing like what you have but cold enough to give one ideas of early bed times and late getting up times.

I am afraid that I will have to disagree with your concluding paragraph. I believe that most can but won't. They would rather complain.

Thu Dec 19, 10:51:00 AM GMT-3:30  
Blogger Irene said...

It is possible for both good and not so good things to co-exist simultaneously. I guess those are the mixed blessings that we learn our lessons from. I am having an avalanche of both and I am learning a lot. There is no such thing as the 'perfect' motherhood, especially not for our generation.

Thu Dec 19, 11:19:00 AM GMT-3:30  
Blogger Wisewebwoman said...

We've just survived some terrific winds which we sent packing over your way :)

I hope you are hunkered down tight!


Thu Dec 19, 06:36:00 PM GMT-3:30  
Blogger Wisewebwoman said...


Yes, the half-glass empties, a lot of them around unfortunately.

I count myself lucky with the wonders in my life and try not to bemoan any lacks!!

You too.


Thu Dec 19, 06:37:00 PM GMT-3:30  
Blogger Wisewebwoman said...


No, there is no handbook out there on motherhood. We learn from those before us. And work on the stuff that didn't work for us when we were brought up.

Life is a mix as you say. I am so glad that Daughter now honours the say "Listen to your mother." And we both get such a charge out of it.

I only pass on when asked. I guess that's the secret :)


Thu Dec 19, 06:40:00 PM GMT-3:30  
Blogger Hattie said...

This is nice to read. I am feeling blessed this Christmas,and I'm not even a Christian!

Fri Dec 20, 12:02:00 PM GMT-3:30  
Blogger Wisewebwoman said...

Me neither Hattie, but we do celebrate winter solstice :)


Fri Dec 20, 08:03:00 PM GMT-3:30  
Blogger Maggie May said...

That bay has an amazing trunk, hasn't it.

As regards motherhood, all we can do is our best.
Like you say, there isn't any manual to go with a baby! I think each generation makes a mistake or two & we can't learn by others' mistakes. Most of us seem to get by though, thankfully.

Wishing you a Happy Christmas.
Maggie x

Nuts in May

Sat Dec 21, 04:58:00 AM GMT-3:30  
Blogger Friko said...

Over and over, whenever I feel the old ‘it’s all my fault anyway’ come over me I try to change tack into ‘well, I did what I thought was for the best at the time’.

I still haven’t got it right. But now, I don’t care so much.

May everything you hope for from the season and the new year come true for you.

Sat Dec 21, 09:00:00 AM GMT-3:30  
Blogger Wisewebwoman said...

"The Trunk of the Bay" would be a great title for a short story, lol!
Yes, our kids survive us, my daughter uses the phrase (to her daughter): "Now that mothering mistake will be another month on the therapist's couch for you!"
Backatcha for the holiday season!

Sat Dec 21, 10:05:00 AM GMT-3:30  
Blogger Wisewebwoman said...


Absolutely. I was riven with guilt over estranged daughter. Not anymore. It is such a waste of emotion and I did the very best I could. As did you.The very best of all that is good for you!


Sat Dec 21, 10:07:00 AM GMT-3:30  
Anonymous nick said...

Yes, ranting may let off a bit of steam but it doesn't usually change anything, as you say just causes a few glazed eyes.

Have a happy Christmas with the girls!

Sat Dec 21, 04:39:00 PM GMT-3:30  
Blogger Wisewebwoman said...

thanks Nick and the same to you and Jenny!


Sat Dec 21, 05:35:00 PM GMT-3:30  
Blogger Secret Agent Woman said...

One of the biggest appeals of blog-reading is leading me to think about things from a new perspective. I'm always grateful for that.

And a happy Solstice to you!

Sat Dec 21, 09:39:00 PM GMT-3:30  
Blogger One Woman's Journey - a journal being written from Woodhaven - her cottage in the woods. said...

Always your words are special.
Last night the winds howling,
Callie barking and phone ringing.
Daughter telling me of storm warning and really wished she has not called me out of my peaceful sleep. Early morning and everything looks fine.
Enjoy this special time in life...

Sun Dec 22, 09:28:00 AM GMT-3:30  
Blogger Wisewebwoman said...

Same to you SAW!


Sun Dec 22, 11:05:00 AM GMT-3:30  
Blogger Wisewebwoman said...

Every moment is a gift with my loved ones, Ernestine.

I rejoice in their presence and their love.

Same to you, stay safe.


Sun Dec 22, 11:06:00 AM GMT-3:30  

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